Hammer
04-10-2001, 09:45 AM
My name is Hammer, and I'm a horsepower-holic.
It all started in 1998. Back then I knew very little about cars. I was a happy care free lad with a little spendin' cash to my name. One day I passed by the local Ford dealership and picked up some sales literature on the 98 Mustang GT. And then, I saw her. It was like love at first sight. She was there in all her beauty between the pages of the magazine. The staples marring her beautiful surface. I knew right then I had to have her.... a yellow 1998 GT.
The salesman tried to sell me on any other color, as they had none in stock. But none other would do. So I ordered her and went into hiding as I awaited her arrival.
My wife knew of the purchase, but she didn't know of the infatuation that began between the pages of that magazine. She would know in about 3 months...
When she arrived, she was more beautiful than in the magazine. The voluptuous curves melding into a strong overall appearance. She begged me to drive her aggressively while we hugged the road together.
And then, it happened...
I was adjusting the radio station when the evil one pulled up. It was a green LS1. The driver had a smug look on his face as if to say, "You're driving THAT?". How dare he think something derogatory about her. He shall pay the price..." We revved at each other as we waited for the light to change. As the green light lit, I took off with a gallant launch, reeling ahead of the evil Camaro. But by second gear, I felt the first flaw in her beautiful engine as the LS1 started to pull away from us like we were standing still....
How could this have happened? And what was I to do?
The mission began....
The garage that had been a mess for a while now was cleaned, painted, and stocked with tools as I pulled her into her new home.
Car books and magazines started to fill up my den as my research started.
The ugly truth and closeted skeletons about my new car started to come out: low torque, limited power band, choking intake and cylinder heads...
It would change, it had to change. The mission could not be aborted.
The mission for: MORE HORSEPOWER!
Well, its been over 2 years now. My original Mustang has 2 siblings in the driveway taking us to our jobs, to the store, and other necessary destinations.
The garage is now cluttered with tools, parts, cleaners, and fluids. The painted walls have been dirtied by oil and grime.
I have been moved from my room into the dog house in the garage, while I await my sentencing from my wife for the crime of excessive horsepower spending....
My life is a mess, ruined by the temptress that sits underneath the blue car cover. The only immaculate thing in the garage....
I say this as a warning. Don't give in to her. Resist her temptation. Don't do what...(pause)...
Oh to hell with it... (fumbling for keys) Where do they hide the Camaros and ricers around here anyway?? http://www.mustangworks.com/msgboard/wink.gif
It all started in 1998. Back then I knew very little about cars. I was a happy care free lad with a little spendin' cash to my name. One day I passed by the local Ford dealership and picked up some sales literature on the 98 Mustang GT. And then, I saw her. It was like love at first sight. She was there in all her beauty between the pages of the magazine. The staples marring her beautiful surface. I knew right then I had to have her.... a yellow 1998 GT.
The salesman tried to sell me on any other color, as they had none in stock. But none other would do. So I ordered her and went into hiding as I awaited her arrival.
My wife knew of the purchase, but she didn't know of the infatuation that began between the pages of that magazine. She would know in about 3 months...
When she arrived, she was more beautiful than in the magazine. The voluptuous curves melding into a strong overall appearance. She begged me to drive her aggressively while we hugged the road together.
And then, it happened...
I was adjusting the radio station when the evil one pulled up. It was a green LS1. The driver had a smug look on his face as if to say, "You're driving THAT?". How dare he think something derogatory about her. He shall pay the price..." We revved at each other as we waited for the light to change. As the green light lit, I took off with a gallant launch, reeling ahead of the evil Camaro. But by second gear, I felt the first flaw in her beautiful engine as the LS1 started to pull away from us like we were standing still....
How could this have happened? And what was I to do?
The mission began....
The garage that had been a mess for a while now was cleaned, painted, and stocked with tools as I pulled her into her new home.
Car books and magazines started to fill up my den as my research started.
The ugly truth and closeted skeletons about my new car started to come out: low torque, limited power band, choking intake and cylinder heads...
It would change, it had to change. The mission could not be aborted.
The mission for: MORE HORSEPOWER!
Well, its been over 2 years now. My original Mustang has 2 siblings in the driveway taking us to our jobs, to the store, and other necessary destinations.
The garage is now cluttered with tools, parts, cleaners, and fluids. The painted walls have been dirtied by oil and grime.
I have been moved from my room into the dog house in the garage, while I await my sentencing from my wife for the crime of excessive horsepower spending....
My life is a mess, ruined by the temptress that sits underneath the blue car cover. The only immaculate thing in the garage....
I say this as a warning. Don't give in to her. Resist her temptation. Don't do what...(pause)...
Oh to hell with it... (fumbling for keys) Where do they hide the Camaros and ricers around here anyway?? http://www.mustangworks.com/msgboard/wink.gif