Cars and personalities...

Hammer · 08-29-2002, 11:30 PM

How many of these types have you seen?

The Lexus SUV:
God I make a lot of money. See how BIG and BEAUTIFUL my Lexus SUV is? You don't see it? Well, let me get in your lane right in front of you so you can admire my BIG, BEAUTIFUL Lexus SUV from the back. Here, I'll slow down for you so you can take a nice long look. Kids? Oh no... the nanny does all that, and she's not driving THIS car!
Did I tell you I made a lot of money?

Any sports car over 80,000 dollars:
You know what? I'm THE MAN! Who's the man? I'M THE MAN!
Look at this sexy piece of machinery. I have more horsepower than 3 of your cars put together! Everyone needs to have a look at my GLORIOUS car, so I'll get in the fast lane and do 60 miles per hour. Race? HAHAHA... No reason to make you feel bad. Besides, I'm not gonna risk this studly replacement for my manhood... Don't you know how much this car costs?

The soccer mom minivan:
I've got 4 screaming kids in the back and it's my time of the month. So BACK OFF! Shut UP Justin! and stop hitting your brother! Oh no, not in MY lane you don't! I'll slam down this gas pedal and keep MY lane. That's right.... its MY lane. Everyone can kiss my a#$. Including my husband, who is definately sleeping around although I can't prove it. That 2-timing bast$%&.

The 80s Camaro Redneck:
Watch out man! I've got a stock 350 just WAITIN' to smoke your *****. You don't want none of me....
Don't I sound mean? Cut off those crappy mufflers as the rust was eatin' through 'em anyway....
Just keepin an eye open to wax some Ford Focus and listenin' to some Journey....

Import Ricer:
(Insert annoying jumping chiuaua dog voice)
LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!.... Look at my pink paint job! Aren't I cool? Watch me cut in and out of rush hour traffic causing accidents behind me. It's that big aluminum wing that I took off a surplus F-4 Phantom that helps me cut in front of family cars in stand still traffic.... and watch THIS cool sh&%.... I'm stuck in a HUGE line of traffic behind a stop light and I can STILL rev up at the Jeep Cherokee next to me. Nah, he ain't lookin.... He don't want none of this.... I am all 21 st century high-tech VTEC man.... Variable Telegraphic Elemental Cataclysmic dude.... Dude, turn down the radio, my phone.... Oh crap... its my mom.... she must want the car back.... Hey man, I can't move my left leg... Oh yea, my huge pants leg is stuck in the door again....

08-29-2002, 11:30 PM	#1
Hammer AKA "Dr. Evil" Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: South Fork Ranch Posts: 1,721	Cars and personalities... How many of these types have you seen? The Lexus SUV: God I make a lot of money. See how BIG and BEAUTIFUL my Lexus SUV is? You don't see it? Well, let me get in your lane right in front of you so you can admire my BIG, BEAUTIFUL Lexus SUV from the back. Here, I'll slow down for you so you can take a nice long look. Kids? Oh no... the nanny does all that, and she's not driving THIS car! Did I tell you I made a lot of money? Any sports car over 80,000 dollars: You know what? I'm THE MAN! Who's the man? I'M THE MAN! Look at this sexy piece of machinery. I have more horsepower than 3 of your cars put together! Everyone needs to have a look at my GLORIOUS car, so I'll get in the fast lane and do 60 miles per hour. Race? HAHAHA... No reason to make you feel bad. Besides, I'm not gonna risk this studly replacement for my manhood... Don't you know how much this car costs? The soccer mom minivan: I've got 4 screaming kids in the back and it's my time of the month. So BACK OFF! Shut UP Justin! and stop hitting your brother! Oh no, not in MY lane you don't! I'll slam down this gas pedal and keep MY lane. That's right.... its MY lane. Everyone can kiss my a#$. Including my husband, who is definately sleeping around although I can't prove it. That 2-timing bast$%&. The 80s Camaro Redneck: Watch out man! I've got a stock 350 just WAITIN' to smoke your *****. You don't want none of me.... Don't I sound mean? Cut off those crappy mufflers as the rust was eatin' through 'em anyway.... Just keepin an eye open to wax some Ford Focus and listenin' to some Journey.... Import Ricer: (Insert annoying jumping chiuaua dog voice) LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!.... Look at my pink paint job! Aren't I cool? Watch me cut in and out of rush hour traffic causing accidents behind me. It's that big aluminum wing that I took off a surplus F-4 Phantom that helps me cut in front of family cars in stand still traffic.... and watch THIS cool sh&%.... I'm stuck in a HUGE line of traffic behind a stop light and I can STILL rev up at the Jeep Cherokee next to me. Nah, he ain't lookin.... He don't want none of this.... I am all 21 st century high-tech VTEC man.... Variable Telegraphic Elemental Cataclysmic dude.... Dude, turn down the radio, my phone.... Oh crap... its my mom.... she must want the car back.... Hey man, I can't move my left leg... Oh yea, my huge pants leg is stuck in the door again.... __________________ Uncle Sam "What the hell is up with all the gauges? Calling Captain Kirk, your ride awaits... Phasers on stun...."