Joke of the Day, part three

PKRWUD · 04-26-2002, 09:00 AM

Booze Warnings

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung-** powers, resulting in you getting your arse kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Okay guys, that's it for now.

Take care,
-Chris

Crazy Horse GT · 04-26-2002, 09:35 AM

04-26-2002, 07:19 PM

Thanks you kept me laughing all day...

Odie

mike_navigator · 04-26-2002, 07:26 PM

Thats awesome my favorite is
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

mike

1969Mach1 · 04-28-2002, 12:49 AM

hahahaha... loving it. lol =) There is a flash video with a bunch of those in it. It's pretty funny, it shows a stick man demonstrating them all. I'll have to try to locate it, or if anyone else has the URL and knows what I'm talking about.

Take it easy,
§am.

Topless In Texas · 04-28-2002, 03:45 AM

hahahahh....ONCE AGAIN CHRIS...you hit that nail SQUARE on the head!!!! lmao!!! I love that one. I think everyone can relate to a few of those! bwaahahah!

TNT

04-28-2002, 04:23 AM

*LOL*

Yeah,I'm sure 90% of us all here can identify with some of these warnings

04-26-2002, 09:00 AM	#1
PKRWUD Junior Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Ventura, California Posts: 8,981	Joke of the Day, part three Booze Warnings Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung-** powers, resulting in you getting your arse kicked. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. Okay guys, that's it for now. Take care, -Chris __________________ Webmaster: Rice Haters Club Jim Porter Racing Peckerwoods Pit Stop Support Your Local RED & WHITE! Last edited by PKRWUD; 04-26-2002 at 09:05 AM..

04-26-2002, 09:35 AM	#2
Crazy Horse GT Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Sale Creek, TN. C. S. A. Posts: 4,652	__________________ 95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow. 04 sonic blue v - six my beater 89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride 84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc 65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020. black 00gt, gone but never forgotten. R H C- member # 1 o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask. goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03

04-26-2002, 07:26 PM	#4
mike_navigator Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: fayetteville nc Posts: 188	ha ha Thats awesome my favorite is WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. mike __________________ 93 COBRA vehicle# 689 of 4993 MODS K&N, two chamber flows. admin of www.v8tec.com

04-28-2002, 12:49 AM	#5
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	hahahaha... loving it. lol =) There is a flash video with a bunch of those in it. It's pretty funny, it shows a stick man demonstrating them all. I'll have to try to locate it, or if anyone else has the URL and knows what I'm talking about. Take it easy, §am. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

04-28-2002, 03:45 AM	#6
Topless In Texas Not broken anymore! Join Date: May 2001 Location: La Porte, TEXASS :) Posts: 1,963	AMEN BRUTHA!!!!! hahahahh....ONCE AGAIN CHRIS...you hit that nail SQUARE on the head!!!! lmao!!! I love that one. I think everyone can relate to a few of those! bwaahahah! TNT __________________ R.I.P. my Kinde..Jan. 19,1992-Aug. 22, 2003. Shes Cruisin' doggie heaven in a Blown Verte or a GTO!!! 2005 ROUSH GT Verte SuperStallions of the Net Feature, May 2002 RICE HATERS CLUB MEMBER #38!! O.B.C #5..thank you!! I feel so priveledged!! BONE STOCK~ Hell, its a ROUSH!

04-26-2002, 07:19 PM	#3
gt lee Guest Posts: n/a	Thanks you kept me laughing all day... Odie

04-28-2002, 04:23 AM	#7
Mustanguy Guest Posts: n/a	LOL Yeah,I'm sure 90% of us all here can identify with some of these warnings

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