Funny Stuff from Dallas

[Hammer]

Out cruisin the other night, saw a 94\95 5.0 mega-riced out.... Custom multi-colored paint, lotsa stickers, and of course, the huge "must have" park-bench double wing....

We start at the light and we go on the green. I start pulling steadily from the top of second on... He kept trying every way he could think of, and it always ended the same for him. From a stop, a roll, high-speed... You could tell he was starting to get peeved.

I motioned him to pull over and I asked what he had. Typical: K&N, flowmasters, shot of nitrous... He got kinda pissed when I was surprised to hear that he was spraying on me...

Another interesting interaction:
One of my good friends at work got into a conversation about Mustangs with a dude at the local Firestone. The Firestone guy was saying how fast his 98 GT was, and that he wanted to run me...
Well, I show up this afternoon with my car and take a look at his...
It was rather humourous. Stickers (or maybe STIKRZ) were EVERYWHERE on this poor GT. "**** Racing", "***** Performance"
They were on the hood, the front bumper, the corner panels, the trunk.... UGH!

I REALLY wanted to put the sticker freak out of his misery at this point.

Without looking under the hood, this guy was totally stock other than a cat-back, pimpin wheels, toyo tires, and lowering springs.
No guages, no nitrous lines.... Nothing!

So my friend introduces us and he seems to be a nice guy.... He says "Sure I'll run ya, hope ya feel like losing..." and then I pop my hood.

I swear his eyes bulged out of his sockets and glazed over at that point. The next words out of his mouth were:
"I'll run you for 4 hundred dollars..."
WHAT!

So your telling me that you won't even run unless I put up some money.... "yep"

Well let me see what you have under the hood...
"Sorry, I don't do that..."

Let me get this straight, you won't just race me for fun, only if I put up 400 dollars, and even then you won't pop the hood.

I absolutely could not believe it...
Where was this 400 dollar crap when he was talking to my work buddy, or before I popped the hood?

He's definately got a 98 GT, with NO worthwhile mods that I can detect in the cockpit or under the car... He's even got the stock shifter!

If there was any time that I wished I had a lot of money to chance, this was it. This guy is a poser hiding behind stickers, flowmaster exhaust, and a high bet price...

If he had a lot of engine work done, he'd want to show it off... I know I do...

But just in case he's got some huge a&& motor with a hidden 250 shot, I can't chance that kind of money....

What a ricer butt head... If there's a God, I'll meet him at a light one day....


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"The Yellowjacket"
Ricer 1: What the heck was that!?
Ricer 2: I don't know. It looked kind of like a yellow SN95 Mustang.
Ricer 1: Nah, fast SN95 Mustangs don't exist... Must have been a mirage or something...