Us vs. Them: why ricers suck!

fiveohpatrol · 12-12-2001, 03:29 PM

I was strolling through the magazine section while shopping today and I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in a grocery store before in my life.

I saw a Car Craft mag, read the cover and it said "Us vs. Them: why ricers suck" so I decided to check it out. Along with the article it includes some captions of things that "we" do and the ricer's equivalent to it. Lets see if I can remember any....

We: Take off when we see the 3rd amber light.
Ricers: Do a flyby through a red light at an intersection.

We: Install roll cages when we break into the 11's.
Ricers: Install roll cages to have more mounting spots for more guages.

We: Spend $2000 to push a new Z28 into the 11's
Ricer's: Spend $15,000 to push a honda civic into the 14's (something like that)

I can't think of anymore right now but the whole thing was pretty funny.

I didn't buy it cause the damn magazine was like 25pages long and was $4.00

Check it out next time your in the mag section, its worth getting stared at for laughing so hard

later

6T9PONY · 12-12-2001, 04:19 PM

Haha...I will have to check that out man...sounds funny as crap....

HiFlow5 0 · 12-12-2001, 08:18 PM

yeah i saw that too, there were some real good lines in there. i wish i could remember some more!

Coupe Devil · 12-12-2001, 09:04 PM

Well I checked out and ended up buyin it. I left it in the car and its raining and I will melt so you'll have to till tommorrw. I wil lpost the good lines at work tommorrow.

White5.0 · 12-12-2001, 11:30 PM

i get that mag., that was a hilarious article. its a pretty good magazine too. i seen where a ricer put a post on here one time and in his signature he had a header and was claiming 30 hp. some people have no clue, i bet they think if they slap in the good ol short throw shifter they get 10hp to the wheels.

mustangman65_79 · 12-13-2001, 12:32 AM

I really need to get that mag.

1969Mach1 · 12-13-2001, 07:28 AM

lol your telling me. What is the name of mag. That sounds pretty funny. Stupid Ricers.

mustangman65_79 · 12-13-2001, 08:48 AM

I like this site here, try it

http://www.beaterz.com/

1969Mach1 · 12-13-2001, 09:04 AM

Yeh I posted that URL earlier today I believe. Great URL. lol Check there links they have some other funny sites too. Gotta love the ricers that try so hard yet still manage to fail and get humilated. lol

mustangman65_79 · 12-13-2001, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Yeh I posted that URL earlier today I believe. Great URL. lol Check there links they have some other funny sites too. Gotta love the ricers that try so hard yet still manage to fail and get humilated. lol

Yes, it was you, I thought it was good enought to tell everyone.

Coupe Devil · 12-13-2001, 09:55 AM

OK here goes.

Us: Stickers for Contingency.
Them: Stickers for extra horsepower.

Us: Keeping a low profile and letting the e.t.'s tell the story.
Them: Hoping the outrageous body kit will distract anyone from discussing e.t.'s

Us: Sidways into third gear.
Them: Sideways to avoid high-centering on a speed bump.

Us: Tall spindle conversion for better camber gain and tire wear.
Them: Lowering 3 inches and running tires with 4 degrees of negatice camber.

Us: composite parts for light weight and aerodynamics.
Them: COmposite veneer dash trim and guages.

Us: Upgrading to a 9-inch cause you keep breaking stock rears.
Them: Realizing your built motor will keep breaking half shafts forever.

Us: 600 hp on 92-octane pump gas.
Them 300 hp on $3-a-gallon 100 octane race gas.

Us: Swapping stock 14 inch wheels for 17's to clear trick brakes and suspension.
Them: Swapping stock 14-inch wheels for 20s despite stock brakes and suspension.

Us: boost guage on a blown car, nitrous guage on a squeezed car.
Them: Both guages on a naturally aspirated car.

Us: 500-lb.-ft. of torque at 3,500 rpm.
Them: 50-lb-ft of torque at 35,000 rpm.

Us: Functional air ducts to cool the big block.
Them: Six different "cosmetic" air dams in random locations.

Us: polishes taillight lenses to bring out the red color.
Them: Installing clear taillights to bait cops.

Us: Headers and 3-inch exhaust.
Them: stock peashooter exhaust pipe with 5-inch tip.

Us: 600 hp makes for a earth shattering street car.
Them: 600 watts per channel makes for an ear shattering street car.

Us: Buying an aftermarket shifter for chorter throws.
Them: Buying an aftermarket shifter for the lighted knob.

Us: Cruising and burnout contests at car shows.
Them: Disco dancing and stereo competitions at car shows.

Us: Old tech pushrod Chevy LS6 pushing 405 hp.
Them: State of the art, dual overhead cam Honda VTEC pushing 180 hp.

Us: Nitrous Oxide
Them: NOS
We've had that dicussion before havent we.

Us: Tach mounted on the dash in the drivers line of sight.
Them: Bobbibg head doll mounted on the dash int hte drivers line of sight.

Us: Race-class lettering on the rear window.
Them: Japanese "Honda" lettering the rear window of a Nissan.

Us: Installing a 12-point after breaking into the 11's
Them: Installing a 12-point cage for more places to mount guages.

Us: Feeling the car shake from a lumpy cam.
Them: Feeling the car shake from the booming bass.

Us: Doing a short burnout to warm the tires before a pass.
Them: WEaving side to side because the Nascar guys do it.

Us: Comfy stock bucket seats in a 9-secong street car.
Them: Back breaking fiberglass seats in a 17-second street car.

Us: Spending $2,000 to get a new Z28 into the 11's.
Them: Spending $10,000 to get a Civic into the 12's.

Us: Leaving on the third amber light at the strip.
Them: Blowing through red lights on the street.

Us: Annoying blind spot caused by the cowl hood.
Them. Annoying blind sposts caused by the limo-tinted windows and triple deck rear wing.

Us: Installing sub-frame connectors to stiffen the chassis.
Them: Conecting the subframes wiht neon lights.

Us: Throttle steer.
Them: Torque steer.

Us: Showing off a 500-hp dyno sheet.
Them: Bosting about their 150-hp mill makes more hp/liter.

And thats all folks. Some of those are so true it isnt funny. YOu should pick up the magizine though, there is a decent article on big-blocks.

12-12-2001, 03:29 PM	#1
fiveohpatrol I'd rather be basketweaving Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 2,551	Us vs. Them: why ricers suck! I was strolling through the magazine section while shopping today and I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in a grocery store before in my life. I saw a Car Craft mag, read the cover and it said "Us vs. Them: why ricers suck" so I decided to check it out. Along with the article it includes some captions of things that "we" do and the ricer's equivalent to it. Lets see if I can remember any.... We: Take off when we see the 3rd amber light. Ricers: Do a flyby through a red light at an intersection. We: Install roll cages when we break into the 11's. Ricers: Install roll cages to have more mounting spots for more guages. We: Spend $2000 to push a new Z28 into the 11's Ricer's: Spend $15,000 to push a honda civic into the 14's (something like that) I can't think of anymore right now but the whole thing was pretty funny. I didn't buy it cause the damn magazine was like 25pages long and was $4.00 Check it out next time your in the mag section, its worth getting stared at for laughing so hard later __________________ NMRA O/C 9516 NA pumpgas stickshift 347 10.65@125.6, 6.73@100, 1.41 60ft

12-12-2001, 08:18 PM	#3
HiFlow5 0 Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Springfield, Ma, usa Posts: 706	yeah i saw that too, there were some real good lines in there. i wish i could remember some more! __________________ NewEngland Auto www.baystategearheads.com -91 Mustang Coupe, ex 4cyl (sold) -99 F150, 3" lift, 35" Procomps, Magnaflow exhaust

12-12-2001, 09:04 PM	#4
Coupe Devil Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Myrtle Beach SC Posts: 1,643	Too funny Well I checked out and ended up buyin it. I left it in the car and its raining and I will melt so you'll have to till tommorrw. I wil lpost the good lines at work tommorrow. __________________ 1990 GT, 347, TFS TW Heads, TFS Cam, TFS Track heat, Twin turbos, FMIC, T5. Built Ford Tough Moderator

12-13-2001, 12:32 AM	#6
mustangman65_79 My poor 79 RIP Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Suisun City, Posts: 2,320	I really need to get that mag. __________________ '84 mustang GT turbo '85 LTD '89 Camaro Irocz z28 '94 Lightning '96 Trans am

12-13-2001, 07:28 AM	#7
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	lol your telling me. What is the name of mag. That sounds pretty funny. Stupid Ricers. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

12-12-2001, 04:19 PM	#2
6T9PONY All about the Windsor. Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 2,052	Haha...I will have to check that out man...sounds funny as crap....

12-12-2001, 11:30 PM	#5
White5.0 Registered Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: VA Posts: 80	i get that mag., that was a hilarious article. its a pretty good magazine too. i seen where a ricer put a post on here one time and in his signature he had a header and was claiming 30 hp. some people have no clue, i bet they think if they slap in the good ol short throw shifter they get 10hp to the wheels.

12-13-2001, 08:48 AM	#8
mustangman65_79 My poor 79 RIP Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Suisun City, Posts: 2,320	I like this site here, try it http://www.beaterz.com/ __________________ '84 mustang GT turbo '85 LTD '89 Camaro Irocz z28 '94 Lightning '96 Trans am

12-13-2001, 09:04 AM	#9
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	Yeh I posted that URL earlier today I believe. Great URL. lol Check there links they have some other funny sites too. Gotta love the ricers that try so hard yet still manage to fail and get humilated. lol __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

12-13-2001, 09:55 AM	#11
Coupe Devil Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Myrtle Beach SC Posts: 1,643	Magazine article OK here goes. Us: Stickers for Contingency. Them: Stickers for extra horsepower. Us: Keeping a low profile and letting the e.t.'s tell the story. Them: Hoping the outrageous body kit will distract anyone from discussing e.t.'s Us: Sidways into third gear. Them: Sideways to avoid high-centering on a speed bump. Us: Tall spindle conversion for better camber gain and tire wear. Them: Lowering 3 inches and running tires with 4 degrees of negatice camber. Us: composite parts for light weight and aerodynamics. Them: COmposite veneer dash trim and guages. Us: Upgrading to a 9-inch cause you keep breaking stock rears. Them: Realizing your built motor will keep breaking half shafts forever. Us: 600 hp on 92-octane pump gas. Them 300 hp on $3-a-gallon 100 octane race gas. Us: Swapping stock 14 inch wheels for 17's to clear trick brakes and suspension. Them: Swapping stock 14-inch wheels for 20s despite stock brakes and suspension. Us: boost guage on a blown car, nitrous guage on a squeezed car. Them: Both guages on a naturally aspirated car. Us: 500-lb.-ft. of torque at 3,500 rpm. Them: 50-lb-ft of torque at 35,000 rpm. Us: Functional air ducts to cool the big block. Them: Six different "cosmetic" air dams in random locations. Us: polishes taillight lenses to bring out the red color. Them: Installing clear taillights to bait cops. Us: Headers and 3-inch exhaust. Them: stock peashooter exhaust pipe with 5-inch tip. Us: 600 hp makes for a earth shattering street car. Them: 600 watts per channel makes for an ear shattering street car. Us: Buying an aftermarket shifter for chorter throws. Them: Buying an aftermarket shifter for the lighted knob. Us: Cruising and burnout contests at car shows. Them: Disco dancing and stereo competitions at car shows. Us: Old tech pushrod Chevy LS6 pushing 405 hp. Them: State of the art, dual overhead cam Honda VTEC pushing 180 hp. Us: Nitrous Oxide Them: NOS We've had that dicussion before havent we. Us: Tach mounted on the dash in the drivers line of sight. Them: Bobbibg head doll mounted on the dash int hte drivers line of sight. Us: Race-class lettering on the rear window. Them: Japanese "Honda" lettering the rear window of a Nissan. Us: Installing a 12-point after breaking into the 11's Them: Installing a 12-point cage for more places to mount guages. Us: Feeling the car shake from a lumpy cam. Them: Feeling the car shake from the booming bass. Us: Doing a short burnout to warm the tires before a pass. Them: WEaving side to side because the Nascar guys do it. Us: Comfy stock bucket seats in a 9-secong street car. Them: Back breaking fiberglass seats in a 17-second street car. Us: Spending $2,000 to get a new Z28 into the 11's. Them: Spending $10,000 to get a Civic into the 12's. Us: Leaving on the third amber light at the strip. Them: Blowing through red lights on the street. Us: Annoying blind spot caused by the cowl hood. Them. Annoying blind sposts caused by the limo-tinted windows and triple deck rear wing. Us: Installing sub-frame connectors to stiffen the chassis. Them: Conecting the subframes wiht neon lights. Us: Throttle steer. Them: Torque steer. Us: Showing off a 500-hp dyno sheet. Them: Bosting about their 150-hp mill makes more hp/liter. And thats all folks. Some of those are so true it isnt funny. YOu should pick up the magizine though, there is a decent article on big-blocks. __________________ 1990 GT, 347, TFS TW Heads, TFS Cam, TFS Track heat, Twin turbos, FMIC, T5. Built Ford Tough Moderator

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