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Another Merc Moment. Big Chilli Pepper at Chilli's, and girl!
Well, the rain stopped, and the clouds disapated late in the afternoon. It was looking like it may be a fun Saturday after all.
It was fun, and the clear skies gave me a chance to make a fool of myself in a public area Once again. This time, it did not go as planned at all. Even now by mid section aches, my butt still hurts (That doesnt sound good, but read on), and open invitation to desert still stands.:D I'll explain the later last. Smooth Merc Strikes again (NO, not strikes out either). It started out with a phone Call. Tim C calls me up and asks what were all doing tonight. In other words..Where is the gang going to eat tonight? We decide upon Chilli's next to the Cross Creek Mall in Fayetteville. Right at one of the bussiest and most traveled areas here. A Cruise spot. So, I call half the gang, and Tim C calls the other half to tell everyone Chilli's at 6:30. Then I call Chilli's and make arrangements. 6:30 rolls in and we all meet at Chilli's. Of course, we go in and ask how long, and I tell them I made "Prior arrangements for a party of 9". Oh, Damien is it? It will be 10 minutes. So we all wait outside. As I'm sure there is at any Chilli's restaraunt is a BIG HUGE CHILLI PEPPER half out of the ground sitting in the front. It was calling my name..Damien...Oh Damien. The converstation was drowned out by my thoughts of taming the Wild Chilli Pepper. The Busy intersection was stopped because the light was Red. Cars were stacking up. Low Riders, Muscle Cars, Imports, and Old machines all sat, drivers eyes wondering onto the Busy Chillis Scenery. There she sat, my big Red Chilli Pepper, in clear, plain view of everyone at the intersection. I walked towards it. I sized it up. I'm short, 5 '6 tall. I would have to jump onto it to "Ride It". So I kind of squated and prepped for the jump. Through the air I sprung like a athlete doing a jump. YELLING YEE HAW..Or I think I did...Cant remember. The Chilli Pepper approached. I had jumped to hard and to high. WIth a LOUD THUMP I landed on the Chili Pepper. The pepper was harder than it had looked. Pain shot through my butt and I stradled the BIG RED CHILLI PEPPER ( I had planned on riding it like a horse..Yelling Yee Haw) It hurt bad..Then at Full Velocity I slid foward towards the big GREEN STEM sticking out. I racked myself pretty hard in the mid section on the Green Stem, pain shot through The Specific Male anatomy parts. Holding onto the Stem like a handle, I was lost in pain. My butt hurt, along with my...Um...Jewels. Then I started to slide, legs still somewhat wrapped around the chilli, I slid around the side. The sky filled my sight, I was hanging Upside down, on the bottom of the pepper, then a final stab of pain hit me and my grasp loossend. I fell and landed on my back. OUCH...SKY..NO Clouds..OUch, my butt, and my crotch hurts..Ouch. I tried to stand up, I staggered, Unable to stand upright. EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING....EVERYONE!! People sat in ther cars lauging, people who also were waiting outside. My friends were just about on the ground, a few were crouching down holding there stomachs, faces red from luaghing. From there angle, (The lower half of the Chilli Peper was hidden behind Bushes from there angle) they said I lunged in the air, Yelled Something and Landed with a loud Thump, racked myself, Yelped loudly and flew out of view. I finally recovered from my injuries enough to walk and stand up. We eventually got seated. Our waitress, Amy, was pretty, with a heavy Souther Accent, and.....Very well..Umm...Endowed with What god gave women. She was pretty, Cute, and just...I dont know...Charming I guess. One of the guys in our party tried to get his foot in the door, but he tried to hard and ...It just didnt work. So I thought I'd lay on the RedNeck James Bond Charm, It worked. She told me what time she'd get off, and said she'd be more than happy to wait on us again because we were a cool bunch (Which was Merc, Tim C, Mike Navigator, Sandman, Budman94GT, Knight Rider, Clint, RS350, and Joey). I had to use the restroom, so after we all paid, everyone left. (Never ask a waitress out infront of anyone, especially your friends) So after I got out, I went up to her and asked if she'd like to have desert with me. She said She'd like to but she was working, painfully obvious, but not what I ment. I asked her if she might be able to join me if I stopped by later tonight for coffie and desert, she said if she was still there she'd love to. But she let me know that they might cut her out early since she'd been there all day, but she was working tommorrow. I told her I'd stop by later tonight. Well, I left the lot at 10:50. I missed her by 5 minutes...Argh...She's cute, Drives a 94 GT 5spd, and ummm....Okay this is a "Family" site so I wont go to into detail. :D Smooth Merc Strikes again...Hehehehe..Cant wait for that desert. |
haha...great story. "Redneck James Bond charm"...thats pretty funny.
[QUOTE]Our waitress, Amy, was pretty, with a heavy Souther Accent, and.....Very well..Umm...Endowed with What god gave women. She was pretty, Cute, and just...I dont know...Charming I guess. QUOTE] And she drives a 94 GT 5spd to boot? Sounds like you found a good one....good luck! Let us know how things go. |
Well get it man. Not sure I would have approached the 'pepper' from that angle though. Duh! You have to use a less direct approach! Sneak up on it.:D
Good luck with the woman though. |
That's a funny story (and well written).
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I just LOVE your storys, they are so funny. Gone back today to try out that pepper. Be careful this time. Well hope all works out for you this time, be carful of those southern chicks, she sounds pretty cool though. Good luck and keep us posted. Odie
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Re: Another Merc Moment. Big Chilli Pepper at Chilli's, and girl!
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Merc, are you hitting the http://216.40.201.38/otn/funny/bongsmi.gif again?? ;) |
I woke up this morning, and my butt really hurts. Owww:( Nope, I wasnt hitting the Bong or the Pipe, I'm just naturely F'd up. :D
Wish me luck:D |
ROTFLMAO!!!, I can just see it now. Merc running full speed, thinking the pepper is gonna give and see-saw like those little kiddie rides with the springs under them. Then THUD!!! LMAO
Golly Merc you sure are a crazy mo fo, I'd love to meet you some time(we seem a lot a like). I can wait for the next installment of "When Mercuys World Turns" :D |
Hey Merc, your gonna have to post more, I'm beatin ya;)
How it feel to me SMOKED:D , lol j/k;) |
That was hilarious!! :D :D I couldn't help but laugh out loud and almost fall out of my chair with the picture of you flying through the air and the look of your eyes as you hit full weight on a giant pepper. HaHAHAH!! Oh....and you gotta watch out for those stems. Wasn't it you who had a specific "loading dock" incedent when showing off for a girl??
Sounds like you may have a few dates comin' up in your near future. How the heck do you find all the girls who drive V8's??? I swear they are few and far between up here. Well, good luck with it, and just have fun. Maybe I oughta start makin' an *** out of myself more often (no offense, Merc ;) :D). --nathan |
No offense taken There Silver pilate. I know I tend to make an extreme Azz out of myself. Yeah, that was me with the Pallet Jack on the Loading docks.:D
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Re: Re: Another Merc Moment. Big Chilli Pepper at Chilli's, and girl!
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No offense to any polish people but Merc are you polish? ahahahhahahha ROFL. i have a friends that is full 100% polish and he makes an azz of himself every day. its hilarious. That girl sounds like an awesome catch! ;)
How is the um... "mid section" feeling hahahaha:D ;) Later, Nick |
MidNiteBlue.
No man, I'm not Polish. I'm German. Blond haired, blue eyed german. lol, I didnt take offense. |
Is riding that "Chilli Pepper" kinda like riding that mechanical bull in URBAN COWBOY? I saw that at Gilly's in Pasadena Texas, though I never tried it.
Rev |
Im still laughing over that one. (Wiping tears from my eyes :) ) I think anyone in a 2 state radius ought to meet us one night here in Fayetteville, and meet Merc! The best part is when he stood sort of upright, holding himself, and staggered in to the shrubery, before staggering over to us. People driving by on Morganton Road, were slowing down and honking !! :D He had both his hands and legs wrapped around the chilli stem, and swung upside down before falling behind the shrubs (from our point of view, however he was on the street side, so all the cars got a full view :D)
Jay beat him though, He went a few minutes later, and took off his t-shirt (leaving on the wife beater), took off his front tooth (seriously) and put on this pink cat ear like head band, and rode the chilli like a bucking bronco, swinging his t-shirt like a lasso. It was GREAT!! Tim C |
Merc, you could make a short film on this. i dont whats funnier, you pissing on your shoe when someone stole your car or this!:D might as well be Polish! haha! tell us more good jokes!
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Merc, that was a classic.
Almost as good as when I stole your car and you pissed yourself ;) :p To the moderators : you need to Archive all of Merc's posts, so we can create an online book of these mishaps....like Tireburner said, "When Mercurys World Turns" :D |
LMAO!!!
LMFAO!!!! REV.....tooo damn funny!!! I was thinking the same thing!!! I went there a few times myself in its hayday!!!!! yeehaaahh!!!!! Urban Cowboy was cool back then! I had some friends that were extras in the movie!
Merc...maybe you did'nt hit the pipe, but maybe had some 'special brownies' or something of that nature????!!!! lol Well, sounds good. And not to mention, shes southern and drives a 94GT!!!!! 2 Great points!!!!!!!! hahahhahahha! Good luck to ya this time....I hope it pans out! :) TNT |
Merc and the Chili Pepper incident
Merc:
Very funny - wish I had been there. Somebody should follow you around with a video camera - and a first-aid kit. Thanks for having the sense of humor to share the story with us and give us all a good laugh at your own expense. It takes a confident guy to do that, and still see the humor in the situation even while he's still sore. Good advice about never asking a girl out in front of friends. Wish you well with 'Miss Southern Belle'. |
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