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-   -   A Explanation of Myself, and an Open Invite to All... (http://forums.mustangworks.com/showthread.php?t=18466)

Fox Body 01-18-2002 11:49 AM

I hope you are not being overly sensitive Mustangbelle. Let's think about this here, you're gonna stop posting your comments b/c someone PM'd you their opinion about you and your posts/replies? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I think you have been mistaken on your idea of a message board (which is for discussion, opinion, etc, etc, etc). Moreover, compare the # of posts that essentially tell you "shut up and go away" to the # of posts that tell you "we all enjoy your insight here-- please stay. You are a valuable member of MW" and then reconsider what you stated about not posting your opinions anymore to certain threads.

Very other good points were made in this thread concerning the PREVIEW button. And yes, I would suggest we use it more often. Also, Mr. 5 0 mentioned something to the effect that we should try and use stuff like "IMO" (in my opinion) instead of directing one's onslaught of opinion as if it is fact. ...Simple guidelines to follow .

Also, as mentioned b4, anyone can get a wrong 1rst impression off someone else...uuhhh, so? If they stay here long enough, they'll know the person a little better and understand the intentions/motive behind that person... First impressions can be quite worthless many times.

IMO, you are a valuable member of this board and I enjoy your posts/replies. Bearing on my good opinion about you stems from how long I've known you as a MW member. Please continue to post/reply in whichever threads you wish. This is a free country and a open/public message board.

And if you're gonna listen to a 1 or 2 people who wanted you to stop posting :rolleyes:, then you more so have to listen to the many people that want you to post here... HA! How you gonna challenge that ;).

Mustangbelle306 01-18-2002 11:56 AM

I'm not going to!!! I already agreed with you on the first page :D

Quoted:

"I do realize what you say is right...someone that cannot come to me with a problem is not really my friend...they just want to stir up the pot, but don't actually care about if its something I should actually think about...because they don't even have the CAJONES to confront me

However, reading back I do realize my posts were HARSHER than I intended, which is something that concerns me very much ...like I said, I've never wanted to misrepresent myself, and by coming across as more b**chy than I really am, I did just that!

So, from now once I'll make sure my posts relate exactly how I feel, whether it be nice....OR NOT!!!!!!"

Thanks for your encouraging werdes Fox ;)

joe4speed 01-18-2002 01:14 PM

Be yourself and don't worry about what everyone else thinks.

69fastback 01-18-2002 02:11 PM

This thread has gotten me mad.

I hate it when people don't have the guts to go to someone and tell them how they feel. It is like people ran to their daddy to tell on Belle. That is very sad. I can't believe grown people would do that. Unless there are 2 year olds here that I don't know about.

If anyone ever has a problem with me - tell me. I will never respect someone that goes behind my back that is just not right. As I expected when I read this only the people that enjoy ur posts would say anything here and the ones telling on u don't have the guts to say anything. Very very sad.

Belle, just forget those people; u can't please everyone.
I know I'm not the most popular person in the world but I don't really care. As long as u are happy with urself who cares what anyone else thinks?

Old Guy with 87 GT 01-18-2002 03:18 PM

First off: I've seen nothing wrong with your posts, Belle.......keeps things interesting

I would add this: It wasn't that long ago that I remember people on Mustang Works getting offended by what others were posting (not you Belle, it was when you were mia from boards). Well, the general consenses - in the aftermath of a lot of people being offended - people were saying that if others had a problem with what they posted then "PM them " and let them know. I believe topless, srv1 and our moderators probably remember what happened when members publicly criticized the posts of other members on the boards...things got out of hand and the flames were flying and a lot of members got their feelings hurt.

I don't agree with people talking about other members behind their back, but I do agree that if somone has a problem they should 'pm' the person they have a problem with and that the offending party should take the pm into consideration.
What i'm saying is: Don't 'totally alter' your personality because somone doesn't like you, but I have to recomend that if someone is offended by your posts then you take their concerns into consideration........if you ignore their concerns then things could get out of hand quickly. I've seen it happen.

With all that said, I don't have a problem with any of your posts but you are very opinionated and blunt. You quote other posts a lot when expressing your opinion. The other day you quoted me. I wasn't all that offended, but using my post kinda personalized it. My first reaction was defensive..........but after I reread your post i saw it wasn't really an attack on my post but more of an opinion about what I said. I actually agreed with some of your statements and it prompted me to clarify what I had said in the originally quoted post

My point being that perhaps if you quote others then some tact might be useful in getting your opinion across. If your gonna be blunt then generalize it more so people don't take it personally. I'm pretty easy going and open minded but I know that it's easy to missinterpret another's opinion. In reading your quotes I see that it wouldn't be hard for somone to be offended. I've also seen that when somone gets offended it doesn't take long for things to get nasty.

All in all Miss Belle: since you asked for my opinion about yourself the above statments would be all I can think of that I would have an opinion about. I hope no offense is taken. I actually think you help keep things interesting around here so keep posting and keep being 'you'.

James

Coupe Devil 01-18-2002 03:24 PM

Heck I'd be glad to get a pm. I never get them. I wouldnt even get mad if someone says how stupid I am or ugly or anything. The shear enjoyment of a pm would overrule all negativity that it holds.

Brad

Mr 5 0 01-18-2002 04:16 PM

Clarifications
 
69fastback:

I believe you may have misunderstood Mustangbelle's original post.

She received a PM from another member that criticized her posts and called her the slang word for a female dog. Pretty cheesy but she's handling it well.

No one 'complained' to me or anyone else, they went to her directly, as they should have. She simply is reacting to that complaint by seeking input from us regarding her messages.
I think she's learning a lot. Most of it useful, I trust.


old guy with 87 gt:

Mustangbelle did take the complaint she received seriously. I believe that's why she started this thread. She was brave enough to ask for our opinions regarding her posts and if we thought she was too blunt or whatever. She's attempting to gauge whether she's been too harsh in her messages and she obviously doesn't wish to offend people or she would have simply told the person who contacted her to drop dead.

Quoting the post (or part of it) that you are responding to is pretty standard procedure on most messageboards and is considered good form, as it makes clear what is being addressed. I don't do it a lot, but many do and it's why we have a 'quote' function on the board. Of course it 'personalizes' the reply, as it's intended to. That isn't generally seen as confrontational, just making a reference point for the reply. Honest.

Old Guy with 87 GT 01-18-2002 05:01 PM

O.K. I agree that posting this thread was a respectful way of dealing with a nasty pm. I don't condone nasty pm's, but I think it's important that if someone is offended that they tell the offender and it seems like a tactful pm is the best way of doing that.

I didn't know the nature of the pm but it sounds like the one who sent her that pm was well out of line. I've never seen 'Miss Belle' say anything that requires that drastic of a statment; in other words, she didn't deserve being called that. I always invite somone to let me know if I'm out of line but I don't invite name calling...thats just plain rude.

I also did "not" want to come across as saying 'Stop quoting others', it just seems that when quoting it's easy to offend, so my advice was just to use care when quoting others.

BTW: Pony Power - I never get pm's either. Guess we need to pi** people off more :D

Topless In Texas 01-18-2002 05:28 PM

:):):)
 
Quote:

Originally posted by 'old guy with 87 gt'
I believe topless, srv1 and our moderators probably remember what happened when members publicly criticized the posts of other members on the boards...things got out of hand and the flames were flying and a lot of members got their feelings hurt.

James

That is NOT something I EVER want to go through or relive again. It made my ulcer flare and was EXTREMELY UPSETTING! With both circumstances all it boils down to is some respect to others in your posts. It's very easy to misinterpret someone's post at times. Sometimes its more obvious if it is meant in a hateful or degrading way.

We all just need to be a liitle more conscious of others feelings, but I think that everyone handles themselves well. Just by this thread being here, I'm sure that it'll make more of us aware of ourselves....and if you find yourself wondering if you worded something wrong or maybe were too harsh (I'm not talking to you Belle, I'm talking to everyone, INCLUDING myself!) then that's a good time to hit that preview button and read that post by putting yourself in the receipients shoes; how would it make you feel if it were posted to you? Just an idea:)
If there is ever any doubt!

(We all have our moments!) :p

Crazy Horse GT 01-18-2002 08:30 PM

Belle: This is still America. I served 12 years in the military for your right to have freedom of speech. As 69fastback & others said; You can say whatever you want to say, it's your right as an American.

As it was once said: I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend your right to say it.

*Administrator's Note: Written by French historian and writer Voltaire. 1694-1778. The actual quote reads:

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

Not that I was the one who flamed you. I promise!
I was at the hospital for a couple of days.
You say what you want, if no one wants to read it, well hey, they need to skip to another thread.

Case Closed.

Go Girl! ;)

69fastback 01-18-2002 08:32 PM

OPPS ok i did misunderstand what had happened. I had thought some people went to the moderators and complained about her. quess i screwed that one up. Oh well.

rbatson 01-18-2002 10:17 PM

Don't feel bad 69fastback, that's the way I read it as well. I have no problem with one member contacting another member with a beef, you got a problem with me.. tell me.

I was thinking how sad it would be that someone actually went to a moderator about someone else.. thats crazy.

As far as spoken word being in print.. I have that problem. I'm usually a good hearted person and sometimes joke with people but in print you can't read tone and it can be interperted wrong.. its happen to me a few times.

Mustangbelle, I have absolutely no problem with you but it seems you have enough other people that you don't need anymore backing:). I actually think you and I see things pretty much the same, in the post I've been involved with.

As far as the "incident".. I have NO idea what you guys are talking about and well... I guess I miss alot on here...

Unit 5302 01-18-2002 11:42 PM

If I posted a "Who I Am" post everytime somebody called me an *** I'd have 3700 x 2 posts, hahahaha.

I'm sure enough PM's have gone across about me being a <insert explicative here> that it could fill a forum, I don't care, quite frankly having everybody PMing me telling me what they think would be annoying.

Lot's of people just don't wish to waste their time telling other people what they think. The really childish thing was the person who told you somebody else was accusing you of being a *****. The good 'ol gossip system, it causes nothing but problems.

Mach 1 01-19-2002 01:37 AM

Well, I know Ive been called "harsh" and Im sure a few other less freindly words, but I dont lose sleep over it, and I suggest you dont eithier.

I like being "blunt", some people like it , some poeple dont.

to the people who dont, go f*** off! :)

see Belle, that wasnt hard.

I believe in telling it like I see it. It takes to much time to edit and re-read everything to make sure nobody is offended.

Sure, it definately helps eliminate mis-understandings and such, but hey, a few good arguments and name calling never hurt anybody.

C Pony Go 01-19-2002 02:35 AM

Mach1-you don't need to reread to make sure you don't offend-primarily...its just nice to make sure you have written something in a way that gets your opinion or point across...by rereading you may pick up a word envaribly left out as you typed but may have sounded out in your mind ...it happens...to me lots of times..I start thinking way ahead of my typing...lol.

great input from everyone...what a nice website this-glad I found it....

Mach 1 01-19-2002 03:02 AM

Your correct, and I agree with you. I guess Im usually just in a hurry when Im on here, and dont want to take the time or effort to make my posts "top quality" like I should.

later...

tireburner163 01-19-2002 10:29 AM

Belle,

I could see how some people could see your posts as harsh, I have before. But after I reread your post a few times, I realized that you weren't as harsh as I first thought you were. That's the problem with the internet, you can't convay emotion like you can in real life. Things that are sayed jokingly can easily be interpretited as mean.

BUT this a discussion forum and you can say what ever the heck you want!!!

mustangman65_79 01-19-2002 01:23 PM

Belle;

As u can see above, there are plenty of ppl here who like u and want u to stay. And as u stated above, u are. I hope u decide to keep that decision and stay for that everyone here would agree. My plan is to grow old with this site, and I hope u do the same. Never stop being who u are, for that the day u change, is the day that u are no longer u.

Be who u want to be, not what joe blow wants.

C Pony Go 01-19-2002 02:15 PM

12 u's in that last post....wow..LOL j/k :D

mustangman65_79 01-19-2002 02:38 PM

Wow, for a new guy, U really have a smart mouth, U.



I hope U know that I'm just playing around and I hardly ever get mad at ppl. U know. As U can proably see, I'm capitalizing the U's to make a point. I'm being a smart ***, as U can see. So I hope U have a nice day, and I will talk to U later.



Hmmmmmmmm, only nine U's I guess I better make it more since U like to count my U's. U! Well, I'd better go now, U take care and have a nice U day, Uk.

Lol



U


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