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Old 10-22-2002, 09:16 AM   #8
Hammer
AKA "Dr. Evil"
 
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Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: South Fork Ranch
Posts: 1,721
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Favorite funny quote:

History of the World Part 1
Queen: "Guard, Do I have any openings in which this man might fit?"
Crowd: "OOOOOOO"
Slave: "Hip Crowd..."

Favorite real life quote:
Basic Training Company Commander talking to wierd looking guy in formation:
"Holy Sh** Son!! What the hell kind of birth defect did your momma and sperm donor pass on to you? How the He!! did you pass your physical? This is brand **$%ing new to me! We've got ourselves a walking, talking FOOTBALL!! That's right football, get down and give me 50.... Oh sh**, that won't work, you'll just teeter-totter back and forth on that huge ***** gut of yours! Let me ask you a question. If you fall down, Can you get back up? Or are you arms too **^&ing short?"

Actually he wasn't that fat... but he DID kind of look like a football. And you bet your ***** that name stuck to him all through basic...
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"What the hell is up with all the gauges?
Calling Captain Kirk, your ride awaits... Phasers on stun...."
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