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Old 01-12-2001, 10:46 PM   #1
redyj91
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Fremont, Ca. USA
Posts: 25
Post Good Joke

A guy at work sent this too me, funny as hell so i thought id post it:
----------------
How to Change Your Oil

Women:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube 3000 miles after the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. Fifteen minutes later, write a check and leave with a
properly maintained vehicle.


Men:

1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars
for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of
taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 13mm box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on hand in
the process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips head screwdriver and
twist it off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy shows up. Finish case with him. Finish oil change
tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car,
dump in hole in back yard.

19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during steps 11, 15, & 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11 and buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of
clean oil to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. Pan is empty. Find
drain plug in back yard hole.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug as last drop of fresh oil drains
onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

28. Bang head on bumper in reaction.

29. Begin cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss
December (1982) in the left boob.

32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands.

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.

39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil
spilled during step 26.

40. Drive car a quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for
another oil change.
--------------------
hehehehehe

Mike

------------------
97 Black/Black Cobra Convertable
Compleatly Stock But not for long
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Old 01-13-2001, 02:36 PM   #2
Hethj7
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Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: weston, MO United States
Posts: 1,455
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Maybe I have been doing that the hard way all along!
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Old 01-13-2001, 02:46 PM   #3
lx mike
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Join Date: Sep 1998
Location: Ft Myers Fla
Posts: 1,539
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I love it!! never knew there was so many steps to changing oil and filter, i've been doing it wrong all these years!!

I'm guilty of # 11,27,28,29,30 and 39
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