Good one liners for the workplace....

07-30-2001, 12:54 PM

OK, I'll admit that I just copied these from another site, but I thought that they would be good to share with you guys (& gals)...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the *****-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks

------------------
91 coupe
3.73's,long tubes,2 1/2" exh,ported stock t-body,ProM-77mm
cobra intake,edelbrock heads,B303,1.72 rr's
36lb inj's,tremec, & a Paxton NOVI 2000!!!
11.020 @128.95 on BFG Drag Radials (275/60/15)

#1 Pony · 07-30-2001, 01:42 PM

#4,9,10,25 (i've heard that before),28,33, & 37.
where good, it's all funny.

lx mike · 07-30-2001, 09:41 PM

I like 10,11,23.

------------------
93-LX: 5 Speed, Flow's with H-Pipe, 3.73's, C&L 76MM Kit, Sub's and K&N.
14.85 @95.83

2FastLX · 07-31-2001, 11:26 AM

This is something we say in our machine shop to our boss when he walks up and asks "How's it going?"

Our reply - "I dunno, I've cut it three times and it's still undersize".

------------------
Gunning for 12's!

Buy your parts here
ICQ# 42269241

LincoConti87 · 07-31-2001, 12:27 PM

My personal favorite....I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

07-31-2001, 03:26 PM

2Fast - that's a good one! I'll have to try that on my boss someday!

joe4speed · 08-01-2001, 01:28 AM

ROFLMFAO

------------------
Joe! 1988 GT, 167,000 miles!!! 13.58@105mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com
99 Ninja ZX-6R:10.32@135mph!
1993 Olds Eighty Eight LSS 16.40@88.8mph

6T9PONY · 08-02-2001, 01:42 AM

#10 reminds me a lot of my job...

------------------
Previously "BennyBoy"
'69 Coupe with 351W
Edelbrock RPM intake, Edelbrock RPM cam, Edelbrock 750 cfm carb, Hedman headers, 2 1/2" pipe, glasspacks, C4, 9" Currie is here!!, 290hp-stock heads
The Surgeon General didn't say anything about smoking your azz!!

07-30-2001, 12:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
SisuStang Posts: n/a	Good one liners for the workplace.... OK, I'll admit that I just copied these from another site, but I thought that they would be good to share with you guys (& gals)... 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sht. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. Ahhh...I see the ****-up fairy has visited us again... 11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...? 24. Do I look like a people person? 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks ------------------ 91 coupe 3.73's,long tubes,2 1/2" exh,ported stock t-body,ProM-77mm cobra intake,edelbrock heads,B303,1.72 rr's 36lb inj's,tremec, & a Paxton NOVI 2000!!! 11.020 @128.95 on BFG Drag Radials (275/60/15)

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07-30-2001, 01:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
#1 Pony Registered Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 268	#4,9,10,25 (i've heard that before),28,33, & 37. where good, it's all funny.

07-30-2001, 09:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
lx mike Undescribable Join Date: Sep 1998 Location: Ft Myers Fla Posts: 1,535	I like 10,11,23. ------------------ 93-LX: 5 Speed, Flow's with H-Pipe, 3.73's, C&L 76MM Kit, Sub's and K&N. 14.85 @95.83

07-31-2001, 11:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
2FastLX The Photoshop Guru Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Mecca, Indiana Posts: 1,420	This is something we say in our machine shop to our boss when he walks up and asks "How's it going?" Our reply - "I dunno, I've cut it three times and it's still undersize". ------------------ Gunning for 12's! Buy your parts here ICQ# 42269241

07-31-2001, 12:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
LincoConti87 Registered Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Tallahassee,Florida,USA Posts: 188	My personal favorite....I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

07-31-2001, 03:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
SisuStang Posts: n/a	2Fast - that's a good one! I'll have to try that on my boss someday!

08-01-2001, 01:28 AM	#7 (permalink)
joe4speed He said Member...heh, heh Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: Jupiter, Florida U.S.A. Posts: 3,716	ROFLMFAO ------------------ Joe! 1988 GT, 167,000 miles!!! 13.58@105mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com 99 Ninja ZX-6R:10.32@135mph! 1993 Olds Eighty Eight LSS 16.40@88.8mph

08-02-2001, 01:42 AM	#8 (permalink)
6T9PONY All about the Windsor. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: Omaha, NE Posts: 2,050	#10 reminds me a lot of my job... ------------------ Previously "BennyBoy" '69 Coupe with 351W Edelbrock RPM intake, Edelbrock RPM cam, Edelbrock 750 cfm carb, Hedman headers, 2 1/2" pipe, glasspacks, C4, 9" Currie is here!!, 290hp-stock heads The Surgeon General didn't say anything about smoking your azz!!

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