Help!! Need some Advice and pickmeups!!

SxyRedStang · 10-20-2001, 11:28 AM

(I know this is long but plese take the time to help me!)

Well I dont even know where to start but, I need to talk!! I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. We just had our one year a few weeks ago. We got along really great! We were talking of marriage! And looking at rings. Some of you may know him. His love of mustangs keeps him on this site a lot!

He even posted a message a while a go on female power asking for advice on weather to get the ring first or weather to make his car run faster. I dont want to directly give out his name and make things worse. You know? Anyways, we had our fights but thats all they were. They were just little fights and for the most part over something trivial. I mean we had them like every couple does and then we moved on. Well two nights ago, we had another one and now Im confused as to where I stand. He had had a really bad day! His car was not running right and so he tried to fix it with some guys at work, but it couldnt be fixed that night. So he left it there and was going to go back the next day and work on it some more after work. He needed to stay at my place cuz no one could give him a ride to his house. Which was fine, he could stay with me for the night. So he came out and I let him take a shower and then we were going to eat. We were going to go to supper, but the place was closed(I live on a campus and its fall break so the food places on campus are closed and he didnt have much money to spend on food)He was hungry so we decide to walk to Taco John's. While we were walking there I asked him what was all wrong with his car. And it turns out that one of his "friends" left him high and dry, so the car could not be fixed. I had met this guy before and my first impression of him was that he was gay. This is just a side note in mine and his conversation. I asked my boyfriend what he thought and he said that he thought that, too when he met him, but that he had a girlfriend. So I asked what she looked. And he gave me a deatled answer, which I wasnt expecting. Then I asked him if he was sure that she was allright looking. And the said YEAH. And it was that tone of voice like yeah shes a hottie. Maybe I read to much into it but I cant change that now. Besides that Iam a really!! really!! senstive person! And he knows that. He and I had a problem at the beggining of our relationship about my weight, so I guess I am still touchy when it comes to things lik that. So anyways when he said that I stopped dead in my tracks and was like well thanks. I told him that what he had just said made me feel bad and not pretty. And then I dropped it. But he got mad and called ma a ***** and told me to just go back that he didnt need me. I told him that I wasnt going to just leave him out there. That was pry my first big mistake. But I didnt feel that what had happend should have been talked about that night or esclated into that big of a deal. But it did. I had tears in my eyes while he was eating and that made him more pissed. After he was done eating he told me again to go that he didnt need me. But I stayed with him trying to tell him that we didnt have to fight over this and we could just go back to my place and rest. He wouldnt say anything. Not one word. We walked far from where I live and he found a cop and asked him if he knew of a homeless shelter. For the night. The cop told him. This place was even farther from where I live, about a 15 or 20 min. drive. But he kept walking(maybe I should have turned around then?) But I didnt turn around then I kept begging him to not do this that it wasnt worth fighting like this! But he wouldnt say a word. I know didnt know where I was cuz I live away from home at a college campus, and Im not familiar with the area. There were drunks and strange people all over and I was terrified. There was even one guy who pulled his pants down. Well he finally found the place, and went in, I told him that if he did this that it would be over. And his stuff out the window. (I only said this cuz I was hurt and mad, I didnt mean it and I realize now that it was dumb, I would give anything to change what I said, h*** even the whole night) But I said it and it cant be changed. I called him the next day at work and told him that I wanted him to come over and talk. And he said yeah that he would and that he wanted to talk. So I was happy I thought things were going to be talked out. When he got here that night, it started out ok, we were in my campus parking lot talking. He apologized for what he said. I told him that I was upset for him not even caring that I was going to walk back not knowing where I was going and ther were weirdos all over the place. He pointed out that he had told me to go back that he didnt need me, but I didnt go. So therefore that wasnt his fault. I said yes I understand what you are saying and you are right. I told him that, I didnt really think he would go there and stay, and that even though he was mad and didnt want me there he could have walked me back (out of concern, and love for me)But the more I think about it he is pry right I shouldnt have gone. I then told him that I was sorry, and that I loved him. And that I didnt want to lose him that I had said that it was over out of anger and being hurt. That it was dumb of me to say. Somehow our talking escalated into a full blown fight, again. I dont know how it happend but it did. He said that he was going to leave and get his **** another day then. And I told him please no. That I was sorry. He got in his car and I told him not to do this That I loved him, I was sorry, and that it was never over. He told me that I had said it was over. And I told him that I knew that I had said it but people say dumb things when they are mand and hurt. I told him I needed to know what was going on. That I loved him and that I was sorry. But he just drove off. So now Im stuck and confused and sad. I dont konw what is going on. He wouldnt tell me if it was over, and I told him that as far as was concerned that we never brok up it was just a fight. But I got no answer from him. It is now the next day and I havent heard or seen from him. He has a very bad temper and I know that when he gets mad he needs about a day to cool off. But I still dont know. We had plans to go to a party last night and then Great America today. The one thing that keeps going throught my mind is what is going on? How did this happen? Did he go to that party and get drunk and do something dumb with another girl, something that can never fix things. This is especially hard for me because this is my first love. I am much younger then him and have dated a few guys before him but nothing serious. But our relationship was special and is I hope still special and it was serious! He is 28 and has had first loves and many other girls. (I am 20) Maybe our age is just too differnt. I dont know. We started out as best friends. And then began dating. I could tell him anything and I mean anything he knew everything about me and vice versa. now Im sad, lonely, and confused. Could you guys help me please! Give me some advice it would be much appreciated!!

Truly, Jessey

[This message has been edited by SxyRedStang (edited 10-21-2001).]

Crazy Horse GT · 10-20-2001, 12:01 PM

look i'm no ann lander's, but you are only 20 so enjoy life while you are young, i got married when i was 21 it didnt last 2 year's because i was still rowdy & not ready to settle down, i waited till ihad setteled down to get married again, & have married for 16 years now young guy's need to have thier wild time's first, i kno he-l i still like to raise a little still , but you are young enjoy life for awhile, hope this helped. see ya.

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1BAD89 · 10-20-2001, 12:52 PM

***I had tears in my eyes while he was eating and that made him more pissed. After he was done eating he told me again to go that he didnt need me.

Look Jessey, this guy seems like a real Jacka$$, and I think you need to forget about him and move on. You were crying and it pissed him off? WTF? But I know there are always 2 sides to every story, and each side is probaly different, because people think, and take things differently. I don't think 28 and 20 work well together, "MOST" of the time those relationships don't really go well. Just my opinion. This guy sounds like a real loser, he'd rather go to a homeless shelter instead of staying with his G/F. Someone has some real problems, no one in their right mind would do that.

P.S. that was one hell of a long post. ;O)

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-1989 GT, not stock.

-2000 Camaro SS-A4,
13.4's bone stock.

-1989 Chevy S-10, EX. Cab-383(500+hp on motor), tubbed, trick flow heads, trick flow pistons, etc... autometer phantom gauges, "built" 700R4, roll cage, lexan back window, corbeau seats, R.H.S. 5 harnesses, Fuel cell, convo pro wheels, 15x14's with 29x18.5 M/T'S on back, 15x4's on front, nitrous, and so much more!

[This message has been edited by 1BAD89 (edited 10-20-2001).]

SxyRedStang · 10-20-2001, 01:25 PM

Yes I know this was a long post! And I am sorry! I really needed to get it all off my chest though! And yes I realize there are two sides to every story. But I tried to be as non-biased as I could. And Crazy horse GT and IBAD89 thank you both very much for replying! And anyone else who does, it will be GREATLY APPRECIATED!

Thanks, Jessey

Unit 5302 · 10-20-2001, 02:09 PM

Here is my take on it. You need some more self esteem. He's shopping for rings for you, not his friends girlfriend. Who cares if she's hot? There are a lot of hot girls out there, that's the truth. In my opinion you totally opened the door for his comment about the other girl. #1 He's pissed to begin with, #2 He's probably giving a detailed explanation because the conversation started on the premis the friend was gay so he was attempting to inform you of the g/f, #3 Talking about the friend isn't gonna make him any more pleased.

You in my opinion probably read WAY to much into what he was saying. Are you sure it wasn't Yeah! (amazingly enough she's hot) or Yeah! (don't know why she's with that guy?)

So then after making him feel bad, when he's already pissed you blow it out of proportion at the resturant, probably making him feel worse, so he gets mad at you. Not saying it's the right thing for him to do, but probably what happend.

Then since he's got the serious jitters about getting married and the future and all that stuff (like most guys), so he see's a convienent way to buy some more time. IE Spaz out and create a situation that creates confusion. (When he insisted on staying at a homeless shelter) In this case, it's a clear showing of his IQ when angry. (not getting any scholarships there)

I definately agree you had a legitimate point with walking back alone. For that, he deserves an extreme *** kicking. (Like what the Vikings are going to do to the Packers tomorrow) Okay, even worse than that. I'm actually serious about that. I can also see his point in that matter. You didn't back off, so what was his choice? How does he "win" that battle? The answer is simple, the guy doesn't because the girl he cares about is WAY WAY WAY more important than the idea of winning a fight.

Nor for my relationship diagnostic.

He's too probably too old for you. 8 years generally seperates all your goals and desires. Since you are 20, I'm presuming you have an additional 2 or 3 years left of college to attend. Having somebody in college, living away from you is a very hard thing. It's definately my opinion that it's not the correct situation to be working on marriage. It's your call though. My mom and dad are 8 years apart. It's a huge difference in the way they see things sometimes. I'm not involved in your relationship, but don't hang onto it just because it is a relationship. If you two are serious, and you do love each other, then great. If not, don't make it a "worlds ending" scenerio.

I hope my response isn't too harsh, I'm not trying to make it that way. Just the way I see things.

Good luck in any case, and keep your head up!

Kell

SxyRedStang · 10-20-2001, 02:34 PM

Hey Kell, thanks for the reply. I was a little unsettled when I began reading it, but I realize that you have made some good points. Maybe I do need some more self-esteem, but lets face it, for most girls when there signifant other says to them that a girl is hot, they generally to not take it very well. And besides that like my mother said, if he really loves me he should be understanding to the fact that I am sensitive, and that what he may say may hurt me. Im not saying to walk on eggshells but he and I have had this type of conversation before. And he knows how I feel, besides that he is the same way. He got upset and hurt that I said I thought some guy on the TV was good looking. So maybe in that respect we are too much alike. As for the age, I dont know. My whole family with the exception of my parents have are married to someone who is way older or younger then them. Thank you soo much for the reply! This helps me a lot. All of the replys do!

Thanks, Jessey

Hammer · 10-20-2001, 03:53 PM

Hey Sxy,

Man that was a long post...

Let me give you an opinion from someone who's been married over 10 years...

First off, Unit's right. While its pretty normal for most girls your age to be over-sensitive, it just makes things worse when dealing with us guys.

We are EXTREMELY simple, and say what we mean. Hardly is there ever anything hidden in what we say.

It may not seem so now, but what you're going through is a pretty normal "growing-up" experience. It may seem "world-ending" stuff but its not. Many of us go through MANY failed relationships in our lives before we find anything with real merit.

A secure relationship doesn't have problems when the words "She's hot" or "He's hot" come up. Secure relationships are not only based on physical attraction, but are mostly based on personality and how well you get along outside of the "lovey-dovey" arena.

I can tell my wife that a woman is really good looking, and she'll smile knowing darn well that I'm going home with HER (my wife) at the end of the night. There's no fear in it at all.

Much of this is your youth showing, and like I said, is pretty normal stuff that we all go through.
So stand up, say your peace to your boyfriend. If it works out, GREAT! If it doesn't, keep studying at college, make tons of money, and watch the guys come running...

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Adam "Hammer" Packett:
Moderator, Gulf War Veteran

GO GET 'EM BOYS!

TXinPA · 10-20-2001, 10:54 PM

Hey Jessie,
If this guy gets mad at you for crying and makes ou walk home alone at night, then you DON'T NEED HIM!!! being in a bad mood over his car is no excuse. My ex-husband was like that. That's why he's my EX. At 20 and in college, you have alot of good times ahead for you. Don'e waste it on someone who dosen't treat you like GOLD. As far as looks go, who cares. if you are beautiful on the inside, it will oooze onto the outside. (almost sounds gross dosen't it

)

Good luck and happy hunting, for a REAL man!!

tireburner163 · 10-20-2001, 11:04 PM

He

[This message has been edited by tireburner163 (edited 10-21-2001).]

tireburner163 · 10-20-2001, 11:06 PM

He was having a bad day already and getting in a fight with his g/f was something he REALLY didn't need at that time, especilly over something he proably saw as pretty insignificant. But making you walk home alone was a total a$$hole thing to do. But if he really loves you he will not let you go.

P.S. why are some people so sensitive about themselves. Why do you care what other people think about you. If they don't like you tell them to go F#ck off. And I will tell you something if you boyfriend loves you, YOU are the most beutiful woman in the world to him.

just my .02

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THE SLO PONY
1992 Ford Mustand LX. 2.3 liter four-banger, auto. Future mods: V-8 swap.

Fly it loud, Fly it proud!!!

If it ain't broke, you ain't tryin hard enough

AshleyAnn54023 · 10-20-2001, 11:42 PM

My bf and I have been together for about a year and 2 weeks and I totally know what you mean about the fighting. Sometimes our fights have made me just want to say it's over and right when I open my mouth to say it, he says something that makes me remember why I love him so much. I think the way he treated you was completely disrespectful and showed that he may not love you as much as you think he does. If he really does love you then he'll realize how much more important you are than his "winning" the fight. Since he has a bad temper, give him another day or so and if he dosen't at least apoligize then you're better off without him.
I hope everything works out.
Ashley

69fastback · 10-20-2001, 11:46 PM

I will tell u one thing. Just don't worry about it. Go out and have fun. Girl u are in college and young it will be some of the best times of ur life. Go party and fool around and act crazy worry about growinng up and getting married and stuff after college. I ran around like a complete idiot my four years of college. U should do the same it is alot of fun.
there is no way in hell he should have let u walk home by urself like that. I don't care how made he was.

Mercury · 10-21-2001, 12:33 AM

SxyRedStang.

I would try to give some advice, but that would be hipocritical of me. Guess I should follow my own advice before I go suggesting anything to anyone else.

The only thing I have to say is, it doesnt sound like he's the right one for you. All your going to do is complicate your life and be unhappy.

Its hard to finally turn away (Trust me I KNOW from experience). But its dispicable the way it sounds like he treats you.

Dont forget though, what ever you do, we at MustangWorks are here for ya to talk to. We dont care, what color, what race, what nationality, what size, what your religion is, all we care about is the person within. (Okay, I'm begining to sound like a TV pshycic or something, or a Cheap Shrink) If you ever want to talk, you know where to find us.

I say let the bum go. Your young, you like cars. Women who like cars and know about them are rare.

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64 1/2 "D" code Red Mustang Coupe. 289, C4, Mallory duel point. Ported & Polished 65 heads shaved .01 with 351 valves, 11:1 comp, 1.7:1 rockers, blue wolverine lumpy cam, modified 4100 Hipo 4 barrel. GT Apperance pkg. And to many others to list

2000 Perf Red Mustang GT. 5spd. BBK Underdrive pulleys, Flotech off-road H pipe. Hurst T-Handle, 40 series Flowmasters, Steeda Tri-Ax. Ordered 4:10's.

64 1/2 red 6cyl coupe. Future resto.

Mustangbelle306 · 10-23-2001, 03:02 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by 69fastback:
[B]Girl u are in college and young it will be some of the best times of ur life. Go party and fool around and act crazy worry about growinng up and getting married and stuff after college./[B]

Why does everyone say this? This is not what college is about. My parents are paying for my school, and there's no way I'm going to waste their money and MY time at keggers and going home with people. Not to flame you, Fastback, I've just heard that so much in the past few months, and I'm sick of it. Being 18 to 22 is not automatically a reason to trash your morals or self respect, and it doesn't make you a wierdo because you want to spend that time of your life with one person. Now, if that person mistreats you or you're having problems, that's a different story. But dont let ANYONE tell you you're missing out on life because you aren't partying, etc. You do what's right for you, and let everyone else figure themselves out. Good luck.

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Elisha~5.0 HO Racing (ahem HIGH OUTPUT!)
1994 GT: The Primered Wonder!
Email: Belle@Mustangworks.com
AOL name: FZRBelle306

[This message has been edited by Mustangbelle306 (edited 10-23-2001).]

10-20-2001, 11:28 AM	#1
SxyRedStang Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 21	Help!! Need some Advice and pickmeups!! (I know this is long but plese take the time to help me!) Well I dont even know where to start but, I need to talk!! I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. We just had our one year a few weeks ago. We got along really great! We were talking of marriage! And looking at rings. Some of you may know him. His love of mustangs keeps him on this site a lot! He even posted a message a while a go on female power asking for advice on weather to get the ring first or weather to make his car run faster. I dont want to directly give out his name and make things worse. You know? Anyways, we had our fights but thats all they were. They were just little fights and for the most part over something trivial. I mean we had them like every couple does and then we moved on. Well two nights ago, we had another one and now Im confused as to where I stand. He had had a really bad day! His car was not running right and so he tried to fix it with some guys at work, but it couldnt be fixed that night. So he left it there and was going to go back the next day and work on it some more after work. He needed to stay at my place cuz no one could give him a ride to his house. Which was fine, he could stay with me for the night. So he came out and I let him take a shower and then we were going to eat. We were going to go to supper, but the place was closed(I live on a campus and its fall break so the food places on campus are closed and he didnt have much money to spend on food)He was hungry so we decide to walk to Taco John's. While we were walking there I asked him what was all wrong with his car. And it turns out that one of his "friends" left him high and dry, so the car could not be fixed. I had met this guy before and my first impression of him was that he was gay. This is just a side note in mine and his conversation. I asked my boyfriend what he thought and he said that he thought that, too when he met him, but that he had a girlfriend. So I asked what she looked. And he gave me a deatled answer, which I wasnt expecting. Then I asked him if he was sure that she was allright looking. And the said YEAH. And it was that tone of voice like yeah shes a hottie. Maybe I read to much into it but I cant change that now. Besides that Iam a really!! really!! senstive person! And he knows that. He and I had a problem at the beggining of our relationship about my weight, so I guess I am still touchy when it comes to things lik that. So anyways when he said that I stopped dead in my tracks and was like well thanks. I told him that what he had just said made me feel bad and not pretty. And then I dropped it. But he got mad and called ma a *** and told me to just go back that he didnt need me. I told him that I wasnt going to just leave him out there. That was pry my first big mistake. But I didnt feel that what had happend should have been talked about that night or esclated into that big of a deal. But it did. I had tears in my eyes while he was eating and that made him more pissed. After he was done eating he told me again to go that he didnt need me. But I stayed with him trying to tell him that we didnt have to fight over this and we could just go back to my place and rest. He wouldnt say anything. Not one word. We walked far from where I live and he found a cop and asked him if he knew of a homeless shelter. For the night. The cop told him. This place was even farther from where I live, about a 15 or 20 min. drive. But he kept walking(maybe I should have turned around then?) But I didnt turn around then I kept begging him to not do this that it wasnt worth fighting like this! But he wouldnt say a word. I know didnt know where I was cuz I live away from home at a college campus, and Im not familiar with the area. There were drunks and strange people all over and I was terrified. There was even one guy who pulled his pants down. Well he finally found the place, and went in, I told him that if he did this that it would be over. And his stuff out the window. (I only said this cuz I was hurt and mad, I didnt mean it and I realize now that it was dumb, I would give anything to change what I said, h* even the whole night) But I said it and it cant be changed. I called him the next day at work and told him that I wanted him to come over and talk. And he said yeah that he would and that he wanted to talk. So I was happy I thought things were going to be talked out. When he got here that night, it started out ok, we were in my campus parking lot talking. He apologized for what he said. I told him that I was upset for him not even caring that I was going to walk back not knowing where I was going and ther were weirdos all over the place. He pointed out that he had told me to go back that he didnt need me, but I didnt go. So therefore that wasnt his fault. I said yes I understand what you are saying and you are right. I told him that, I didnt really think he would go there and stay, and that even though he was mad and didnt want me there he could have walked me back (out of concern, and love for me)But the more I think about it he is pry right I shouldnt have gone. I then told him that I was sorry, and that I loved him. And that I didnt want to lose him that I had said that it was over out of anger and being hurt. That it was dumb of me to say. Somehow our talking escalated into a full blown fight, again. I dont know how it happend but it did. He said that he was going to leave and get his **** another day then. And I told him please no. That I was sorry. He got in his car and I told him not to do this That I loved him, I was sorry, and that it was never over. He told me that I had said it was over. And I told him that I knew that I had said it but people say dumb things when they are mand and hurt. I told him I needed to know what was going on. That I loved him and that I was sorry. But he just drove off. So now Im stuck and confused and sad. I dont konw what is going on. He wouldnt tell me if it was over, and I told him that as far as was concerned that we never brok up it was just a fight. But I got no answer from him. It is now the next day and I havent heard or seen from him. He has a very bad temper and I know that when he gets mad he needs about a day to cool off. But I still dont know. We had plans to go to a party last night and then Great America today. The one thing that keeps going throught my mind is what is going on? How did this happen? Did he go to that party and get drunk and do something dumb with another girl, something that can never fix things. This is especially hard for me because this is my first love. I am much younger then him and have dated a few guys before him but nothing serious. But our relationship was special and is I hope still special and it was serious! He is 28 and has had first loves and many other girls. (I am 20) Maybe our age is just too differnt. I dont know. We started out as best friends. And then began dating. I could tell him anything and I mean anything he knew everything about me and vice versa. now Im sad, lonely, and confused. Could you guys help me please! Give me some advice it would be much appreciated!! Truly, Jessey [This message has been edited by SxyRedStang (edited 10-21-2001).]

10-20-2001, 12:01 PM	#2
Crazy Horse GT Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Sale Creek, TN. C. S. A. Posts: 4,652	look i'm no ann lander's, but you are only 20 so enjoy life while you are young, i got married when i was 21 it didnt last 2 year's because i was still rowdy & not ready to settle down, i waited till ihad setteled down to get married again, & have married for 16 years now young guy's need to have thier wild time's first, i kno he-l i still like to raise a little still , but you are young enjoy life for awhile, hope this helped. see ya. ------------------

10-20-2001, 12:52 PM	#3
1BAD89 Tubbed and Juiced Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Posts: 1,861	***I had tears in my eyes while he was eating and that made him more pissed. After he was done eating he told me again to go that he didnt need me. Look Jessey, this guy seems like a real Jacka$$, and I think you need to forget about him and move on. You were crying and it pissed him off? WTF? But I know there are always 2 sides to every story, and each side is probaly different, because people think, and take things differently. I don't think 28 and 20 work well together, "MOST" of the time those relationships don't really go well. Just my opinion. This guy sounds like a real loser, he'd rather go to a homeless shelter instead of staying with his G/F. Someone has some real problems, no one in their right mind would do that. P.S. that was one hell of a long post. ;O) ------------------ -1989 GT, not stock. -2000 Camaro SS-A4, 13.4's bone stock. -1989 Chevy S-10, EX. Cab-383(500+hp on motor), tubbed, trick flow heads, trick flow pistons, etc... autometer phantom gauges, "built" 700R4, roll cage, lexan back window, corbeau seats, R.H.S. 5 harnesses, Fuel cell, convo pro wheels, 15x14's with 29x18.5 M/T'S on back, 15x4's on front, nitrous, and so much more! [This message has been edited by 1BAD89 (edited 10-20-2001).]

10-20-2001, 01:25 PM	#4
SxyRedStang Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 21	Yes I know this was a long post! And I am sorry! I really needed to get it all off my chest though! And yes I realize there are two sides to every story. But I tried to be as non-biased as I could. And Crazy horse GT and IBAD89 thank you both very much for replying! And anyone else who does, it will be GREATLY APPRECIATED! Thanks, Jessey

10-20-2001, 02:09 PM	#5
Unit 5302 Registered Member Join Date: May 1999 Posts: 5,246	Here is my take on it. You need some more self esteem. He's shopping for rings for you, not his friends girlfriend. Who cares if she's hot? There are a lot of hot girls out there, that's the truth. In my opinion you totally opened the door for his comment about the other girl. #1 He's pissed to begin with, #2 He's probably giving a detailed explanation because the conversation started on the premis the friend was gay so he was attempting to inform you of the g/f, #3 Talking about the friend isn't gonna make him any more pleased. You in my opinion probably read WAY to much into what he was saying. Are you sure it wasn't Yeah! (amazingly enough she's hot) or Yeah! (don't know why she's with that guy?) So then after making him feel bad, when he's already pissed you blow it out of proportion at the resturant, probably making him feel worse, so he gets mad at you. Not saying it's the right thing for him to do, but probably what happend. Then since he's got the serious jitters about getting married and the future and all that stuff (like most guys), so he see's a convienent way to buy some more time. IE Spaz out and create a situation that creates confusion. (When he insisted on staying at a homeless shelter) In this case, it's a clear showing of his IQ when angry. (not getting any scholarships there) I definately agree you had a legitimate point with walking back alone. For that, he deserves an extreme *** kicking. (Like what the Vikings are going to do to the Packers tomorrow) Okay, even worse than that. I'm actually serious about that. I can also see his point in that matter. You didn't back off, so what was his choice? How does he "win" that battle? The answer is simple, the guy doesn't because the girl he cares about is WAY WAY WAY more important than the idea of winning a fight. Nor for my relationship diagnostic. He's too probably too old for you. 8 years generally seperates all your goals and desires. Since you are 20, I'm presuming you have an additional 2 or 3 years left of college to attend. Having somebody in college, living away from you is a very hard thing. It's definately my opinion that it's not the correct situation to be working on marriage. It's your call though. My mom and dad are 8 years apart. It's a huge difference in the way they see things sometimes. I'm not involved in your relationship, but don't hang onto it just because it is a relationship. If you two are serious, and you do love each other, then great. If not, don't make it a "worlds ending" scenerio. I hope my response isn't too harsh, I'm not trying to make it that way. Just the way I see things. Good luck in any case, and keep your head up! Kell

10-20-2001, 02:34 PM	#6
SxyRedStang Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 21	Hey Kell, thanks for the reply. I was a little unsettled when I began reading it, but I realize that you have made some good points. Maybe I do need some more self-esteem, but lets face it, for most girls when there signifant other says to them that a girl is hot, they generally to not take it very well. And besides that like my mother said, if he really loves me he should be understanding to the fact that I am sensitive, and that what he may say may hurt me. Im not saying to walk on eggshells but he and I have had this type of conversation before. And he knows how I feel, besides that he is the same way. He got upset and hurt that I said I thought some guy on the TV was good looking. So maybe in that respect we are too much alike. As for the age, I dont know. My whole family with the exception of my parents have are married to someone who is way older or younger then them. Thank you soo much for the reply! This helps me a lot. All of the replys do! Thanks, Jessey

10-20-2001, 03:53 PM	#7
Hammer AKA "Dr. Evil" Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: South Fork Ranch Posts: 1,721	Hey Sxy, Man that was a long post... Let me give you an opinion from someone who's been married over 10 years... First off, Unit's right. While its pretty normal for most girls your age to be over-sensitive, it just makes things worse when dealing with us guys. We are EXTREMELY simple, and say what we mean. Hardly is there ever anything hidden in what we say. It may not seem so now, but what you're going through is a pretty normal "growing-up" experience. It may seem "world-ending" stuff but its not. Many of us go through MANY failed relationships in our lives before we find anything with real merit. A secure relationship doesn't have problems when the words "She's hot" or "He's hot" come up. Secure relationships are not only based on physical attraction, but are mostly based on personality and how well you get along outside of the "lovey-dovey" arena. I can tell my wife that a woman is really good looking, and she'll smile knowing darn well that I'm going home with HER (my wife) at the end of the night. There's no fear in it at all. Much of this is your youth showing, and like I said, is pretty normal stuff that we all go through. So stand up, say your peace to your boyfriend. If it works out, GREAT! If it doesn't, keep studying at college, make tons of money, and watch the guys come running... ------------------ Adam "Hammer" Packett: Moderator, Gulf War Veteran GO GET 'EM BOYS!

10-20-2001, 10:54 PM	#8
TXinPA Registered Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 120	Hey Jessie, If this guy gets mad at you for crying and makes ou walk home alone at night, then you DON'T NEED HIM!!! being in a bad mood over his car is no excuse. My ex-husband was like that. That's why he's my EX. At 20 and in college, you have alot of good times ahead for you. Don'e waste it on someone who dosen't treat you like GOLD. As far as looks go, who cares. if you are beautiful on the inside, it will oooze onto the outside. (almost sounds gross dosen't it ) Good luck and happy hunting, for a REAL man!!

10-20-2001, 11:04 PM	#9
tireburner163 It's a lot like a race car Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Meridian, MS Posts: 4,130	He [This message has been edited by tireburner163 (edited 10-21-2001).]

10-20-2001, 11:06 PM	#10
tireburner163 It's a lot like a race car Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Meridian, MS Posts: 4,130	He was having a bad day already and getting in a fight with his g/f was something he REALLY didn't need at that time, especilly over something he proably saw as pretty insignificant. But making you walk home alone was a total a$$hole thing to do. But if he really loves you he will not let you go. P.S. why are some people so sensitive about themselves. Why do you care what other people think about you. If they don't like you tell them to go F#ck off. And I will tell you something if you boyfriend loves you, YOU are the most beutiful woman in the world to him. just my .02 ------------------ THE SLO PONY 1992 Ford Mustand LX. 2.3 liter four-banger, auto. Future mods: V-8 swap. Fly it loud, Fly it proud!!! If it ain't broke, you ain't tryin hard enough

10-20-2001, 11:42 PM	#11
AshleyAnn54023 Registered Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 1	My bf and I have been together for about a year and 2 weeks and I totally know what you mean about the fighting. Sometimes our fights have made me just want to say it's over and right when I open my mouth to say it, he says something that makes me remember why I love him so much. I think the way he treated you was completely disrespectful and showed that he may not love you as much as you think he does. If he really does love you then he'll realize how much more important you are than his "winning" the fight. Since he has a bad temper, give him another day or so and if he dosen't at least apoligize then you're better off without him. I hope everything works out. Ashley

10-20-2001, 11:46 PM	#12
69fastback IRAQ VET Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: high desert California Posts: 1,480	I will tell u one thing. Just don't worry about it. Go out and have fun. Girl u are in college and young it will be some of the best times of ur life. Go party and fool around and act crazy worry about growinng up and getting married and stuff after college. I ran around like a complete idiot my four years of college. U should do the same it is alot of fun. there is no way in hell he should have let u walk home by urself like that. I don't care how made he was.

10-21-2001, 12:33 AM	#13
Mercury The Redneck James Bond Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Fayetteville NC Posts: 1,707	SxyRedStang. I would try to give some advice, but that would be hipocritical of me. Guess I should follow my own advice before I go suggesting anything to anyone else. The only thing I have to say is, it doesnt sound like he's the right one for you. All your going to do is complicate your life and be unhappy. Its hard to finally turn away (Trust me I KNOW from experience). But its dispicable the way it sounds like he treats you. Dont forget though, what ever you do, we at MustangWorks are here for ya to talk to. We dont care, what color, what race, what nationality, what size, what your religion is, all we care about is the person within. (Okay, I'm begining to sound like a TV pshycic or something, or a Cheap Shrink) If you ever want to talk, you know where to find us. I say let the bum go. Your young, you like cars. Women who like cars and know about them are rare. ------------------ 64 1/2 "D" code Red Mustang Coupe. 289, C4, Mallory duel point. Ported & Polished 65 heads shaved .01 with 351 valves, 11:1 comp, 1.7:1 rockers, blue wolverine lumpy cam, modified 4100 Hipo 4 barrel. GT Apperance pkg. And to many others to list 2000 Perf Red Mustang GT. 5spd. BBK Underdrive pulleys, Flotech off-road H pipe. Hurst T-Handle, 40 series Flowmasters, Steeda Tri-Ax. Ordered 4:10's. 64 1/2 red 6cyl coupe. Future resto.

10-23-2001, 03:02 AM	#14
Mustangbelle306 Yay for Chickys Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,532	[QUOTE]Originally posted by 69fastback: [B]Girl u are in college and young it will be some of the best times of ur life. Go party and fool around and act crazy worry about growinng up and getting married and stuff after college./[B] Why does everyone say this? This is not what college is about. My parents are paying for my school, and there's no way I'm going to waste their money and MY time at keggers and going home with people. Not to flame you, Fastback, I've just heard that so much in the past few months, and I'm sick of it. Being 18 to 22 is not automatically a reason to trash your morals or self respect, and it doesn't make you a wierdo because you want to spend that time of your life with one person. Now, if that person mistreats you or you're having problems, that's a different story. But dont let ANYONE tell you you're missing out on life because you aren't partying, etc. You do what's right for you, and let everyone else figure themselves out. Good luck. ------------------ Elisha~5.0 HO Racing (ahem HIGH OUTPUT!) 1994 GT: The Primered Wonder! Email: Belle@Mustangworks.com AOL name: FZRBelle306 [This message has been edited by Mustangbelle306 (edited 10-23-2001).]