Help!! Need some Advice and pickmeups!!

SxyRedStang · 10-20-2001, 11:28 AM

(I know this is long but plese take the time to help me!)

Well I dont even know where to start but, I need to talk!! I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. We just had our one year a few weeks ago. We got along really great! We were talking of marriage! And looking at rings. Some of you may know him. His love of mustangs keeps him on this site a lot!

He even posted a message a while a go on female power asking for advice on weather to get the ring first or weather to make his car run faster. I dont want to directly give out his name and make things worse. You know? Anyways, we had our fights but thats all they were. They were just little fights and for the most part over something trivial. I mean we had them like every couple does and then we moved on. Well two nights ago, we had another one and now Im confused as to where I stand. He had had a really bad day! His car was not running right and so he tried to fix it with some guys at work, but it couldnt be fixed that night. So he left it there and was going to go back the next day and work on it some more after work. He needed to stay at my place cuz no one could give him a ride to his house. Which was fine, he could stay with me for the night. So he came out and I let him take a shower and then we were going to eat. We were going to go to supper, but the place was closed(I live on a campus and its fall break so the food places on campus are closed and he didnt have much money to spend on food)He was hungry so we decide to walk to Taco John's. While we were walking there I asked him what was all wrong with his car. And it turns out that one of his "friends" left him high and dry, so the car could not be fixed. I had met this guy before and my first impression of him was that he was gay. This is just a side note in mine and his conversation. I asked my boyfriend what he thought and he said that he thought that, too when he met him, but that he had a girlfriend. So I asked what she looked. And he gave me a deatled answer, which I wasnt expecting. Then I asked him if he was sure that she was allright looking. And the said YEAH. And it was that tone of voice like yeah shes a hottie. Maybe I read to much into it but I cant change that now. Besides that Iam a really!! really!! senstive person! And he knows that. He and I had a problem at the beggining of our relationship about my weight, so I guess I am still touchy when it comes to things lik that. So anyways when he said that I stopped dead in my tracks and was like well thanks. I told him that what he had just said made me feel bad and not pretty. And then I dropped it. But he got mad and called ma a ***** and told me to just go back that he didnt need me. I told him that I wasnt going to just leave him out there. That was pry my first big mistake. But I didnt feel that what had happend should have been talked about that night or esclated into that big of a deal. But it did. I had tears in my eyes while he was eating and that made him more pissed. After he was done eating he told me again to go that he didnt need me. But I stayed with him trying to tell him that we didnt have to fight over this and we could just go back to my place and rest. He wouldnt say anything. Not one word. We walked far from where I live and he found a cop and asked him if he knew of a homeless shelter. For the night. The cop told him. This place was even farther from where I live, about a 15 or 20 min. drive. But he kept walking(maybe I should have turned around then?) But I didnt turn around then I kept begging him to not do this that it wasnt worth fighting like this! But he wouldnt say a word. I know didnt know where I was cuz I live away from home at a college campus, and Im not familiar with the area. There were drunks and strange people all over and I was terrified. There was even one guy who pulled his pants down. Well he finally found the place, and went in, I told him that if he did this that it would be over. And his stuff out the window. (I only said this cuz I was hurt and mad, I didnt mean it and I realize now that it was dumb, I would give anything to change what I said, h*** even the whole night) But I said it and it cant be changed. I called him the next day at work and told him that I wanted him to come over and talk. And he said yeah that he would and that he wanted to talk. So I was happy I thought things were going to be talked out. When he got here that night, it started out ok, we were in my campus parking lot talking. He apologized for what he said. I told him that I was upset for him not even caring that I was going to walk back not knowing where I was going and ther were weirdos all over the place. He pointed out that he had told me to go back that he didnt need me, but I didnt go. So therefore that wasnt his fault. I said yes I understand what you are saying and you are right. I told him that, I didnt really think he would go there and stay, and that even though he was mad and didnt want me there he could have walked me back (out of concern, and love for me)But the more I think about it he is pry right I shouldnt have gone. I then told him that I was sorry, and that I loved him. And that I didnt want to lose him that I had said that it was over out of anger and being hurt. That it was dumb of me to say. Somehow our talking escalated into a full blown fight, again. I dont know how it happend but it did. He said that he was going to leave and get his **** another day then. And I told him please no. That I was sorry. He got in his car and I told him not to do this That I loved him, I was sorry, and that it was never over. He told me that I had said it was over. And I told him that I knew that I had said it but people say dumb things when they are mand and hurt. I told him I needed to know what was going on. That I loved him and that I was sorry. But he just drove off. So now Im stuck and confused and sad. I dont konw what is going on. He wouldnt tell me if it was over, and I told him that as far as was concerned that we never brok up it was just a fight. But I got no answer from him. It is now the next day and I havent heard or seen from him. He has a very bad temper and I know that when he gets mad he needs about a day to cool off. But I still dont know. We had plans to go to a party last night and then Great America today. The one thing that keeps going throught my mind is what is going on? How did this happen? Did he go to that party and get drunk and do something dumb with another girl, something that can never fix things. This is especially hard for me because this is my first love. I am much younger then him and have dated a few guys before him but nothing serious. But our relationship was special and is I hope still special and it was serious! He is 28 and has had first loves and many other girls. (I am 20) Maybe our age is just too differnt. I dont know. We started out as best friends. And then began dating. I could tell him anything and I mean anything he knew everything about me and vice versa. now Im sad, lonely, and confused. Could you guys help me please! Give me some advice it would be much appreciated!!

Truly, Jessey

[This message has been edited by SxyRedStang (edited 10-21-2001).]

10-20-2001, 11:28 AM	#1
SxyRedStang Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 21	Help!! Need some Advice and pickmeups!! (I know this is long but plese take the time to help me!) Well I dont even know where to start but, I need to talk!! I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. We just had our one year a few weeks ago. We got along really great! We were talking of marriage! And looking at rings. Some of you may know him. His love of mustangs keeps him on this site a lot! He even posted a message a while a go on female power asking for advice on weather to get the ring first or weather to make his car run faster. I dont want to directly give out his name and make things worse. You know? Anyways, we had our fights but thats all they were. They were just little fights and for the most part over something trivial. I mean we had them like every couple does and then we moved on. Well two nights ago, we had another one and now Im confused as to where I stand. He had had a really bad day! His car was not running right and so he tried to fix it with some guys at work, but it couldnt be fixed that night. So he left it there and was going to go back the next day and work on it some more after work. He needed to stay at my place cuz no one could give him a ride to his house. Which was fine, he could stay with me for the night. So he came out and I let him take a shower and then we were going to eat. We were going to go to supper, but the place was closed(I live on a campus and its fall break so the food places on campus are closed and he didnt have much money to spend on food)He was hungry so we decide to walk to Taco John's. While we were walking there I asked him what was all wrong with his car. And it turns out that one of his "friends" left him high and dry, so the car could not be fixed. I had met this guy before and my first impression of him was that he was gay. This is just a side note in mine and his conversation. I asked my boyfriend what he thought and he said that he thought that, too when he met him, but that he had a girlfriend. So I asked what she looked. And he gave me a deatled answer, which I wasnt expecting. Then I asked him if he was sure that she was allright looking. And the said YEAH. And it was that tone of voice like yeah shes a hottie. Maybe I read to much into it but I cant change that now. Besides that Iam a really!! really!! senstive person! And he knows that. He and I had a problem at the beggining of our relationship about my weight, so I guess I am still touchy when it comes to things lik that. So anyways when he said that I stopped dead in my tracks and was like well thanks. I told him that what he had just said made me feel bad and not pretty. And then I dropped it. But he got mad and called ma a *** and told me to just go back that he didnt need me. I told him that I wasnt going to just leave him out there. That was pry my first big mistake. But I didnt feel that what had happend should have been talked about that night or esclated into that big of a deal. But it did. I had tears in my eyes while he was eating and that made him more pissed. After he was done eating he told me again to go that he didnt need me. But I stayed with him trying to tell him that we didnt have to fight over this and we could just go back to my place and rest. He wouldnt say anything. Not one word. We walked far from where I live and he found a cop and asked him if he knew of a homeless shelter. For the night. The cop told him. This place was even farther from where I live, about a 15 or 20 min. drive. But he kept walking(maybe I should have turned around then?) But I didnt turn around then I kept begging him to not do this that it wasnt worth fighting like this! But he wouldnt say a word. I know didnt know where I was cuz I live away from home at a college campus, and Im not familiar with the area. There were drunks and strange people all over and I was terrified. There was even one guy who pulled his pants down. Well he finally found the place, and went in, I told him that if he did this that it would be over. And his stuff out the window. (I only said this cuz I was hurt and mad, I didnt mean it and I realize now that it was dumb, I would give anything to change what I said, h* even the whole night) But I said it and it cant be changed. I called him the next day at work and told him that I wanted him to come over and talk. And he said yeah that he would and that he wanted to talk. So I was happy I thought things were going to be talked out. When he got here that night, it started out ok, we were in my campus parking lot talking. He apologized for what he said. I told him that I was upset for him not even caring that I was going to walk back not knowing where I was going and ther were weirdos all over the place. He pointed out that he had told me to go back that he didnt need me, but I didnt go. So therefore that wasnt his fault. I said yes I understand what you are saying and you are right. I told him that, I didnt really think he would go there and stay, and that even though he was mad and didnt want me there he could have walked me back (out of concern, and love for me)But the more I think about it he is pry right I shouldnt have gone. I then told him that I was sorry, and that I loved him. And that I didnt want to lose him that I had said that it was over out of anger and being hurt. That it was dumb of me to say. Somehow our talking escalated into a full blown fight, again. I dont know how it happend but it did. He said that he was going to leave and get his **** another day then. And I told him please no. That I was sorry. He got in his car and I told him not to do this That I loved him, I was sorry, and that it was never over. He told me that I had said it was over. And I told him that I knew that I had said it but people say dumb things when they are mand and hurt. I told him I needed to know what was going on. That I loved him and that I was sorry. But he just drove off. So now Im stuck and confused and sad. I dont konw what is going on. He wouldnt tell me if it was over, and I told him that as far as was concerned that we never brok up it was just a fight. But I got no answer from him. It is now the next day and I havent heard or seen from him. He has a very bad temper and I know that when he gets mad he needs about a day to cool off. But I still dont know. We had plans to go to a party last night and then Great America today. The one thing that keeps going throught my mind is what is going on? How did this happen? Did he go to that party and get drunk and do something dumb with another girl, something that can never fix things. This is especially hard for me because this is my first love. I am much younger then him and have dated a few guys before him but nothing serious. But our relationship was special and is I hope still special and it was serious! He is 28 and has had first loves and many other girls. (I am 20) Maybe our age is just too differnt. I dont know. We started out as best friends. And then began dating. I could tell him anything and I mean anything he knew everything about me and vice versa. now Im sad, lonely, and confused. Could you guys help me please! Give me some advice it would be much appreciated!! Truly, Jessey [This message has been edited by SxyRedStang (edited 10-21-2001).]