I'm a bad american
 

A friend of mine E-mailed this to me. I thought some of you may like it.


YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN

by George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy *** through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my *** off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry *** if you're running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your *** over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies even if you are President of the United States.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know. We need our country back!

I don't always agree with Carlin, but those are some good points. Add to the list of hero's: Steve McQueen, James Dean, Carroll Shelby, Larry Shinoda, and Henry Ford. Now we've got a good list. :D

Ummm Deuce you forgot Steve Saleen!!:p

That was great I love Carlin !!!!!!!

Some of his points are valid, but that guy gets on my nerves.......BAD.

That was freakin sweet. Some of the things that Carlin says I don't agree with, but not this time. ;)

I Am a Bad American
 

WADS56:

I love the piece and agree with the sentiments expressed but 'I'm a Bad American' wasn't written by George Carlin.

Although this version (there are many) has been doctored up to sound like Carlin, he disavows it on his website. Besides, George Carlin is no flag-waver, to put it politely.

This has been floating around the internet for many years now and - unfortunately - the author is unknown.

Too bad, I'd like to meet him. He makes some good points.

Ted Nugent wrote the original. I'm positive.

Take care,
~Chris

I must agree.

I vote Charlton Heston for President and Ted Nugent to Secretary of Defense.

Bradley

Re: I Am a Bad American
 

I thought that George Carlin was just a normal person. Who is he, I never heard of him?

Re: Re: I Am a Bad American
 

You are joking, right?

Re: Re: I Am a Bad American
 

George Carlin, happens to be one of hte funniest ( IMO ) comedians ever. He has a very lued and Blue typre of humor that I admire for not being worried about what the critics or censors seem to think. Very funny. Should check him out sometime, if you have a sick, twisted and erotically disgruntal sense of humor.

Bradley

Re: Re: Re: I Am a Bad American
 

Sounds like my type of humor.

George Carlin is one of the funniest comedians ever IMO. You can download pretty much all of his stuff through kazaa or whatever. Great ones are "the definition of the F word", "airline announcements", and "F the children". There are many more too. :D

Later,
Nick

i would have to say Carlin is very funny, but the best comedian of all time would have to be Red Fox. 2nd would have to be Gallager and 3rd would be Carlin. trust me, they are all a close call!

Sam Kinison's my man. Then Lenny Bruce.

Take care,
~Chris

i like george carlin, gallager is funny as hell, and if you mention those guys you have to mention richard pryor, he is so goddam funny, i saw a thing on him on comedy central one night

Author unknown/comedians
 

PKRWUD:

Sorry Chris, Ted Nugent didn't write 'I am a BAD American' either. He says so on his website:

http://www.tednugent.com/news/10042001.shtml

It sounds like a Nugent rant and it also sounds like Carlin but both deny it and I take them at their word.

George Carlin would be just as funny if he didn't use the 'F' word 27 times per sentence. It gets old and the shock value wears off after awhile but he's still an insightful, funny man, even if jaded and a bit too self-consciously profane.

Sam Kinison was great, an original, and his build-up to the screaming punch line were outstanding. Miss him.

Redd Fox was also profane and so funny you had tears in your eyes and were doubled over with laughter after 10 minutes of his (also profane) act. Unfortunately, Red is half-forgotten now and mostly remembered for the TV series that he probably did without even trying as it never made full use of Redd's talent.

I always admired Bill Cosby. He was clean and used common little experiences to get big laughs. His timing was impeccable and he never used race to get a laugh, in fact, he ignored it. Unlike Red Foxx, the TV show was simply an extension of Cosby's talent.

Most comedians are very individual in their humor and it's hard to compare any two, especially from different eras. I have the Jerry Seinfeld CD that he cut in '98 at the Broadhurst theater in New York over four nights. It's hilarious...much funnier than the TV show, which I also loved.

I also enjoy Rodney Dangerfield. Old-time stand up one-liner style of comedy that still works for me. Rodney has some great lines, often delivered in a discouraged mumble that makes them even funnier. Stephen Wright, the deadpan comedian, is also very funny.

No end of funny people out there and calling any one man or woman the 'best' is very subjective - but we do it anyway. As long as we keep laughing, it works for me.

Re: Author unknown/comedians
 

WOW!

Good catch, Jim! I would have bet my truck on that one. In fact, I thought it was his website that I read that he had written it. Too strange!

Take care,
~Chris

sam kinison is da man, next richard pryer-sp., oh well you know who i mean. :D :D :cool: