Joke of the day.
 

The Loyal Butler

There was this single, rich, highly physically endowed :eek: (attractive) young woman who owned a huge house. A strong, loyal butler worked for her and took care her house. One day she was invited to a party where a lot of other rich people were going to attend. She dressed up in her finest clothes which made her look quite tempting. Then she left that evening and told the butler that he could take the night off and to have fun. Since she would be away for a couple of hours at a party, she didn't feel right making the butler clean up.
She soon arrived at the mansion where the party took place. She tried to intermingle with the people there, but all of them were really snobby and caught up in their wealth. She was not that type of person and found that she could not honestly hold any meaningful conversation with any of the snobs there and decided to leave early-- about 30 minutes into the party. Now she would have nothing to do for the rest of the evening and worried about being borred out of her mind. What would she do?
In her seductively stunning outfit, when she arrived at her home, she met her butler in the hallway. "Butler", she said. "You are my loyal servant and will do anything I say, right?" He responds, "Yes my lady, I am your loyal butler." So she says to him, "I want you to go upstairs to my bedroom and wait for me there." He says "Yes ma'am" and quickly goes. She follows the muscular butler to the bedroom and slowly looks him up and down for a moment without saying a word. Then she says to him with a sweet, soft voice, "Will you please remove my coat."
"Yes ma'am"
"Now I want you to remove my shoes"
"Yes ma'am"
"Now, loyal butler," she says with a sparkle in her eyes, "now, please take off my silk blouse"
For a moment, the butler hesitated, but being the loyal butler that he was, did as she asked, "Uh...uh ....yes ma'am."
Now, with that same sweet, soft, desiring voice the attractive woman said "My loyal butler, please remove my skirt, now."
"Uh, yes ma'am"
Then, from sweet, luscious, juicy, red lips, the woman asks, "Now my loyal butler who will serve me in whatever way I please, I want you to remove my bra."
The butler kinda gagged and turned really red. He started stutterring and said, "uh, ur, ....ye, ye, yes, m, mm, m ,ma'am," and with slightly trembling hands, began to slowly remove her size 34-C bra.
Then with a sparkle in her deep, blue eyes, she softly utter the words into his ear, "Butler, I want you to reach down with your strong hands and gently take off my soft, satin panties."
The butler, very nervous now and kinda trembling, responded, "Uh, uh, ya, ya ,yesss, m, ma, ma'am, I wa, wa, will do as you request."
"My loyal butler", she says firmly, "now I don't ever want to catch you wearing any of my clothes again!"
"Yes, ma'am"


:D

BWAHHAHAHAHA

Good one

That was just to good, HaHaHaHa laughed my butt off.

:o :o :o :D

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now THAT was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D :D

That's comedy!:D

Aaaah yeah, and see, I bet all you guys' minds were in the gutter. Heh, heh. You should be ashamed of yourselves. ;)

of course our minds were in the gutter muahahaha:D ;)

haven't seen that one in a while, almost had me there for a minute :D

Ohh.. man that was a good one. LMAO.... You started to get me alittle excited there. lol hahaha...

Take Care Guys,
nothing like a good joke to chear you up.

This joke is going to get me in some trouble but I found it pretty funny. lol It's just a joke and I don't go by it at all. :D

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." "Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian. "Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. ”Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."

I AM CANADIAN!!!
lol But I love you Americans too. :D I want your fine woman and hot weather. hehehe

I can see this happening..
 

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys".
I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise!
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh ****," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahhahahaha ha
lmfao both times!!!!!:D

Thanks they were just to good, needed another couple good laughs, keep em coming, I'm not good at telling jokes but I sure love em.

I laughed both times, sorry 1969Mach1, no laugh from me.

Gotta love the clock one, I can see myself doing something like that. Actually I'm sure I have. I'll admit that I did laugh at 1969Mach1's even though I'm a red blooded American, some humor transends nationality. :)

Yup it was all in good humour. We take alot of abuse from you americans with jokes. lol I watch some of those American shows (They are better then our Canadian ones) and I always here wise cracks about Canadians. I'll find some more jokes to post. =) I always love a good joke.

bwaaahahahahahahhahah!! i bet that guy won't be going out for a while after that!!! :p :p

1969mach....what ahhhhhre yoo talkin abooot? we never say anything bad abooot canadians. eh?

There is a moral to this story, so pay attention. (sorry so long, worth reading)

There was this kid Johnny. Everybody knows who Johnny is. He was in class learning Geography. His teacher asked him "Johnny, where is Unga Bunga?" Johnny said "I don't know, where is it?" The teacher said " I'm sorry Johnny, but I can't have anyone in my class that doesn't know where Unga Bunga is", and she sent him to the principals office. He got to the principal's office, and the principal said "Hey johnny",(everyone knows who Johnny is)"what can I do for you?" Johnny said "Well, the teacher sent me here because I don't know where Unga Bunga is". The principal said "I'm sorry Johnny, but I can't have anyone in my school that doesn't know where Unga Bunga is", and he sent him home. Johnny got home, and his mom said"Hey johnny", (everyone knows who johnny is),"what are you doing home?"Johnny said "Well the teacher sent me to the principal and the principal sent me home because I don't know where Unga Bunga is". His mom said"I'm sorry Johhny but I can't have anyone living in my home that doesn't know where Unga Bunga is, you have to go see the mayor". He got to the mayor's office. The mayor said"Hi johnny",(everyone knows who Johnny is)"what are you doing here?" "Well, the teacher sent me to the principal, the principal sent me home, and my mom sent me to you because I don't know where Unga Bunga is" The mayor said"I'm sorry Johnny, but I can't have anyone living in my town that doesn't know where Unga Bunga is, you have to go see the governor." So Johnny went to see the governor. The governor said"Hey Johnny",(everyone knows who Johnny is)"what are you doing here?" Johnny said"Well the teacher sent me to the principal, the principal sent me home, my mom sent me to the mayor, and the mayor sent me to you because I don't know where Unga Bunga is". The governor says"I'm sorry Johnny but I can't have anyone living in my state that doesn't know where Unga Bunga is," and he sent him to see the president. Johnny got to the White house. The president said "Hey Johnny",(everyone knows who johnny is)"what are you doing here?" Johnny said"The teacher sent me to the principal, he sent me home. My mom sent me to the mayor, the mayor sent me to the governor, and the governor sent me to you because I don't know where Unga Bunga is". The president says"I'm sorry Johnny, but I can't have anyone living in my country that doesn't know where Unga Bunga is" and he put Johnny on a ship that was about to go overseas. Johnny got to the captain. The captain said"Hey johnny"(everyone knows who johnny is)"What are you doing here?"Johnny said"the teacher sent me to the principal, the principal sent me home, my mom sent me to the mayor, the mayor sent me to the governor, the governor sent me to the president, and he sent me to you because I don't know where Unga Bunga is" The captain said "I'm sorry johnny, but I can't have anyone on my boat that doesn't know where Unga Bunga is" and the captain threw him overboard. Johnny woke up on a white sandy beach. Along came this tall, voluptuous, beautiful blond in a string bikini. She said"Hi johnny"(everyone knows who johnny is)"what are you doing here?"He said"the teacher sent me to the principal, the principal sent me home, my mom sent me to the mayor, the mayor sent me to the governor, the governor sent me to the president, the president put me on a ship, and the ship's captain threw me overborad because I don't know where Unga Bunga is." The beautiful woman said"Johnny, you are in luck. You are ON Unga Bunga. And guess what, there is a travel agency across the street. let's go get you some brochures, and then you can go back and show everyone that you now know where Unga Bunga is." Excited to hear the great idea, Johnny got up and they both ran across the street to the Travel agency. But, when they got halfway, a tractor trailer came out of nowhere and plowed into them, killing them both.

What's the moral of the story.....

The moral is Look both ways before you cross the street.

I think I missed something in that joke because I'm not quite understanding. Is it just me at 7:00 in the morning?

the point is that you sit there and read this super long story looking for the moral, and the entire thing is meaningless until you get to the very end. it's not the same when you read it. it's one of thse that you have to hear.didn't go over that well.

Yeah, there is variations of that one. I tell it as Purple Passion. The kid ends up in Russia and while crossing the street, he gets run over by an army tank.

Yeah, it's much better when told. I've pissed off many with that long joke.

Thought I'd bring this joke back up, cause it's a good one. :D