got a joke...

6T9PONY · 12-13-2001, 01:23 PM

First some background info...

The South Platte River flows from somewhere in Colorado into the Platte River in Nebraska...it then flows into the Missouri River....

Ok...here's the joke....

Person #1: Did you know the Platte River is flooding?
Person #2: No, what's causing it?
Person #1: All the Coloradans crying about the Rose Bowl.

Yeah...that's not very funny....but hopefully it pisses some Coloradans off....hehe!

1BAD89 · 12-13-2001, 01:35 PM

Coupe Devil · 12-13-2001, 02:12 PM

OK what do you get when you cross a Cow and a kangaroo?

Dont know.

Me either but what ever it is you have to milk it on a pogo-stick.

HAh hhah hahhaahahahhahaha

89 Cobra LX · 12-13-2001, 02:19 PM

Nice Colorado blast. The crying is pretty pathetic.

6T9PONY · 12-13-2001, 04:05 PM

I thought it was pretty funny how Barnett just about started bawling when he heard about it. Then he made a speech and just about started crying again! What a baby....

joe4speed · 12-13-2001, 04:42 PM

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The
stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went though a red light".
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.
And again, they went right through. This time the woman in the
passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.
She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through.
So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"

Mustangbelle306 · 12-13-2001, 05:49 PM

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH *wipes away tear*

dude that was TOO funny...makes me visualize 2 little old ladies in a land yacht

Fox Body · 12-13-2001, 07:06 PM

Ha. That was a good one JL1314.

1969Mach1 · 12-13-2001, 07:12 PM

lol That is a funny one. lol Some guy sent me this one at work.

Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars ...Your neighbor from forty miles away.... Having a Xmas party Friday ... Thought you might like to come. About 5..." "Great," says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em." Again, as he starts to leave, Lars tops. "More'n'likely gonna be some fightin' too." Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Lars turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."
"Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us".

fiveohpatrol · 12-13-2001, 07:20 PM

In my best "The Ladies Man" voice....
"Uh yah, thats just disgusting, ok"

12-13-2001, 08:43 PM

Heeh, I've heard/told that joke before. Its funny, but I think you need to give it a different delivery

joe4speed · 12-13-2001, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1969Mach1
lol That is a funny one. lol Some guy sent me this one at work.

Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars ...Your neighbor from forty miles away.... Having a Xmas party Friday ... Thought you might like to come. About 5..." "Great," says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em." Again, as he starts to leave, Lars tops. "More'n'likely gonna be some fightin' too." Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Lars turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."
"Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us".

ROFLMAO!

Fox Body · 12-13-2001, 11:22 PM

AAAaahh. that's funny 1969Mach1. Gonna have to remember that one.

6T9PONY · 12-13-2001, 11:31 PM

I have to say that I have just about perfected the Leon Phelps "Ladies Man" voice. Especially that saying! My friends are always wanting me to say it and stuff....kinda ironic you just said that!

MustangKelly96 · 12-14-2001, 01:10 AM

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a
road
when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune.
"One American soldier is better than ten Taliban".
The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best
soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks
out and continues for
a few minutes, then silence.

The voice then calls out "One American soldier is
better
than one hundred Taliban".

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100
troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight
commences. After
10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The American voice calls out again "One American
soldier
is better than one thousand Taliban".
The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand
fighters and sends then across the dune. Cannon,
rocket and machine gun
fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then
silence.
Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back
over
the dune and with his dying words tells his commander,
"Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's two of
them."

joe4speed · 12-14-2001, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MustangKelly96
There's two of
them."

LMAO! Ouch!

6T9PONY · 12-14-2001, 01:14 AM

HAHAHAHA!!!!!

That one was great!!!!!.....

6T9PONY · 12-14-2001, 01:42 AM

Here's a picture I just got in an email!! It's awesome!

1969Mach1 · 12-14-2001, 07:01 AM

lol that's rough for Taliban. To bad they're screwed and there going to get alot more then 2 troops.

I have a ton more of funny jokes. When I get to work I'll try to post them.

mustangman65_79 · 12-14-2001, 07:08 AM

Here's another old lady joke.

A cop is stitting behind tree next to a freeway when a car goes driving past him going 44mph. He thinks to himself "that slow car is just as dangerious as a speeding car." So he pulls that car over. In it are four elderly women. He gently raps on the window and the driver rolls down the window. He asks "Mamm, do u know how fast u were going?" She replies "why yes, I was going 44mph." He then asks "Do ku know what the speed limit is?" She replies, "Yes, the sign said 44." Puzzled, the Cop asks, " Mamm, why sign are u talking about." She says, "Well, there's one there, right in front of me." He then says, "Mamm, that's the sign saying what freeway your on, the speed signs are white, they say 65 mph." The Old lady replies, "I'm sorry officer, I didn't know, I will follow the right signs now."

The Officer says to the driver, "Well, I'm going to let u go now, just remember to follow the right sings next time." As he starts to walk away, he looks at the back seat, turns around and asks the driver, Are the other women alright, they look white, as if they saw a ghost.

The driver replies, "Oh, they'll be alright soon, you see, we just got off of Highway 120."

12-13-2001, 02:12 PM	#3
Coupe Devil Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Myrtle Beach SC Posts: 1,643	Good joke time. OK what do you get when you cross a Cow and a kangaroo? Dont know. Me either but what ever it is you have to milk it on a pogo-stick. HAh hhah hahhaahahahhahaha __________________ 1990 GT, 347, TFS TW Heads, TFS Cam, TFS Track heat, Twin turbos, FMIC, T5. Built Ford Tough Moderator

12-13-2001, 02:19 PM	#4
89 Cobra LX Don Corlione Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Omaha NE USA Posts: 491	Nice Colorado blast. The crying is pretty pathetic. __________________ Eric - 89 Mustang LX coupe 5 speed 302-Cobra Intake-GT40p heads-TFS stage 1 cam-FRPP 1.6 roller rockers-3:73 gears-KYB shocks and struts-Eibach Pro-kit-HPM Mega-bite upper and lower control arms-FRPP aluminum driveshaft-16x8 Chrome Cobra Rs R.H.C. #14

12-13-2001, 04:42 PM	#6
joe4speed He said Member...heh, heh Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: Jupiter, Florida U.S.A. Posts: 3,718	My favorite: Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went though a red light". After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. And again, they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?" __________________ *Joe!* 1988 GT, 13.58@101mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com

12-13-2001, 07:06 PM	#8
Fox Body Mustang Maniac Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: GA, U.S.A Posts: 2,266	Ha. That was a good one JL1314. __________________ 351W-powered 1979 Ford Mustang Ghia notchback '79 Video @ Idle Stock 5.8L under 4" cowl 'glass hood, C4 w/ Transgo shift kit, Holley 750 cfm, Edelbrock Performer RPM intake; Fluidyne Al radiator, Flexalite 175 electric fan, 1 5/8" MAC shorty headers, FRPP Al driveshaft; S&W 6-point cage; 2.5" Off road H-pipe, 2-chamber Flowmasters, 8.8" Rear w/ 3.55s; Weld wheels (15x6;15x8), Front: 225/60/15, Rear: 275/50/15 Nitto NT 555R Drag Radials; 14 x 4” K&N X-stream air filter. '92 GT (5-speed) Small In Car Video Stock 5.0L, 2-chamber Flowmasters, MAC CAI, Tri-Ax, Al pedals... "Red, thou art my companion. Hasten now your quickened metamorphosis to Green that I may conquer all who dare abide there beside me. May they be left thither behind burnt black." ---Fox Body

12-13-2001, 07:12 PM	#9
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	lol That is a funny one. lol Some guy sent me this one at work. Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars ...Your neighbor from forty miles away.... Having a Xmas party Friday ... Thought you might like to come. About 5..." "Great," says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em." Again, as he starts to leave, Lars tops. "More'n'likely gonna be some fightin' too." Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Lars turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us". __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

12-13-2001, 01:23 PM	#1
6T9PONY All about the Windsor. Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 2,052	got a joke... First some background info... The South Platte River flows from somewhere in Colorado into the Platte River in Nebraska...it then flows into the Missouri River.... Ok...here's the joke.... Person #1: Did you know the Platte River is flooding? Person #2: No, what's causing it? Person #1: All the Coloradans crying about the Rose Bowl. Yeah...that's not very funny....but hopefully it pisses some Coloradans off....hehe!

12-13-2001, 01:35 PM	#2
1BAD89 Tubbed and Juiced Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Posts: 1,861

12-13-2001, 04:05 PM	#5
6T9PONY All about the Windsor. Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 2,052	I thought it was pretty funny how Barnett just about started bawling when he heard about it. Then he made a speech and just about started crying again! What a baby....

12-13-2001, 05:49 PM	#7
Mustangbelle306 Yay for Chickys Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,532	HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH wipes away tear dude that was TOO funny...makes me visualize 2 little old ladies in a land yacht

12-13-2001, 07:20 PM	#10
fiveohpatrol I'd rather be basketweaving Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 2,551	In my best "The Ladies Man" voice.... "Uh yah, thats just disgusting, ok" __________________ NMRA O/C 9516 NA pumpgas stickshift 347 10.65@125.6, 6.73@100, 1.41 60ft

12-13-2001, 08:43 PM	#11
rbatson Guest Posts: n/a	Heeh, I've heard/told that joke before. Its funny, but I think you need to give it a different delivery

12-13-2001, 11:22 PM	#13
Fox Body Mustang Maniac Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: GA, U.S.A Posts: 2,266	AAAaahh. that's funny 1969Mach1. Gonna have to remember that one. __________________ 351W-powered 1979 Ford Mustang Ghia notchback '79 Video @ Idle Stock 5.8L under 4" cowl 'glass hood, C4 w/ Transgo shift kit, Holley 750 cfm, Edelbrock Performer RPM intake; Fluidyne Al radiator, Flexalite 175 electric fan, 1 5/8" MAC shorty headers, FRPP Al driveshaft; S&W 6-point cage; 2.5" Off road H-pipe, 2-chamber Flowmasters, 8.8" Rear w/ 3.55s; Weld wheels (15x6;15x8), Front: 225/60/15, Rear: 275/50/15 Nitto NT 555R Drag Radials; 14 x 4” K&N X-stream air filter. '92 GT (5-speed) Small In Car Video Stock 5.0L, 2-chamber Flowmasters, MAC CAI, Tri-Ax, Al pedals... "Red, thou art my companion. Hasten now your quickened metamorphosis to Green that I may conquer all who dare abide there beside me. May they be left thither behind burnt black." ---Fox Body

12-13-2001, 11:31 PM	#14
6T9PONY All about the Windsor. Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 2,052	I have to say that I have just about perfected the Leon Phelps "Ladies Man" voice. Especially that saying! My friends are always wanting me to say it and stuff....kinda ironic you just said that!

12-14-2001, 01:10 AM	#15
MustangKelly96 Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Great State of Indiana Posts: 353	A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One American soldier is better than ten Taliban". The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One American soldier is better than one hundred Taliban". Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The American voice calls out again "One American soldier is better than one thousand Taliban". The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends then across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's two of them."

12-14-2001, 01:14 AM	#17
6T9PONY All about the Windsor. Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 2,052	HAHAHAHA!!!!! That one was great!!!!!.....

12-14-2001, 07:01 AM	#19
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	lol that's rough for Taliban. To bad they're screwed and there going to get alot more then 2 troops. I have a ton more of funny jokes. When I get to work I'll try to post them. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

12-14-2001, 07:08 AM	#20
mustangman65_79 My poor 79 RIP Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Suisun City, Posts: 2,320	Here's another old lady joke. A cop is stitting behind tree next to a freeway when a car goes driving past him going 44mph. He thinks to himself "that slow car is just as dangerious as a speeding car." So he pulls that car over. In it are four elderly women. He gently raps on the window and the driver rolls down the window. He asks "Mamm, do u know how fast u were going?" She replies "why yes, I was going 44mph." He then asks "Do ku know what the speed limit is?" She replies, "Yes, the sign said 44." Puzzled, the Cop asks, " Mamm, why sign are u talking about." She says, "Well, there's one there, right in front of me." He then says, "Mamm, that's the sign saying what freeway your on, the speed signs are white, they say 65 mph." The Old lady replies, "I'm sorry officer, I didn't know, I will follow the right signs now." The Officer says to the driver, "Well, I'm going to let u go now, just remember to follow the right sings next time." As he starts to walk away, he looks at the back seat, turns around and asks the driver, Are the other women alright, they look white, as if they saw a ghost. The driver replies, "Oh, they'll be alright soon, you see, we just got off of Highway 120." __________________ '84 mustang GT turbo '85 LTD '89 Camaro Irocz z28 '94 Lightning '96 Trans am

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