Joke time again

[Coupe Devil]

Joke time again Heres mine:

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother to comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather died, her
grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today

Brad
Cant take credit, got it from someone else.

[lx mike]

what a way to go!!!

[srv1]

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding
> > along with a dog and a sheep and began a
> > conversation.
> >
> > Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak
> > to him?"
> >
> > Indian: "Dog no talk."
> >
> > Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
> >
> > Dog: "Doin' alright."
> >
> > Indian: Look of shock.
> >
> > Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the
> > Indian.
> >
> > Dog: "Yep"
> >
> > Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
> >
> > Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me
> > great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
> >
> > Indian: Look of total disbelief.
> >
> > Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
> >
> > Indian: "Horse no talk."
> >
> > Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
> >
> > Horse: "Cool."
> >
> > Indian: Extreme look of shock.
> >
> > Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Indian
> >
> > Horse: "Yep"
> >
> > Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
> >
> > Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me
> > regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in
> > a shed to protect me."
> >
> > Indian: Total look of utter amazement.
> >
> > Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
> >
> > Indian: "Sheep liar."

pony_power- I heard that one before its pretty good Ha? srv that was a good one , I like jokes a lot and laugh when I hear a good one but I sure can't tell a joke for sh** so keep em coming I love to laugh,

[srv1]

here you go!

[Coupe Devil]

Anybody know what you get when you mix a cow and a kangaroo?????

Answer: I dont know either but you gotta milk it on a pogo-stick.

HAHAHA

[1969Mach1]

lmao Love those jokes! I'll find some to post. The first one was great I'll have to be sure to send it to some friends. lol

[drudis]

Two blondes wanna go hunting, but are afraid of getting lost in the woods.

They were told, if you get lost just fire three shots straight up into the air.

(cutting it short)
So sure enough, they get lost.
Fires three shots into the air, noone comes.

Waits a bit...
Fires three more shots into the air, noone comes...

Getting dark and scared, one says to the other
"I hope someone comes soon, I only got 3 arrows left!"


Bawahhahahahaha

[PKRWUD]

No offense, Marty....

TENNESSEE ENGINEERING EXAM

1.* Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.

2.* Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
blocks in your front yard?
'66 Ford Fairlane '69 Chevrolet Chevelle '64 Pontiac GTO

3.* If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons
of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the
product?

4.* A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm.* The
density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 trees per acre.
The plot is 2.3 acres in size.* The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?

5.* If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6.* A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation.* The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet.* The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawed pine.* When the porch
collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7.* A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average
slope of 15%.* The man has 5 children.* Can each of the children place a
mobile home on the man's land?

8.* A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade
on a secondary road at 45 mph.* The brakes fail.* Given the average
traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid
the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra
credit how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and
uncracked windshields?

9.* A Coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area.* The
mine employs 120 miners per shift.
A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift.* How many cartons
of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10.* At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation,
how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to
breed a country-western singer?



Take care,
-Chris

[Fox Body]

Why did the farmer name his pig "Ink?"


B/c the pig kept running out of the pen!!!


Yuck , yuck, yuck...

[Coupe Devil]

Originally posted by Fox Body
Why did the farmer name his pig "Ink?"


B/c the pig kept running out of the pen!!!


Yuck , yuck, yuck...

Man!!! and I thought my joke was cheesy. J/J Fox

Brad

[Fox Body]