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12-13-2001, 01:23 PM | #1 |
All about the Windsor.
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 2,052
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got a joke...
First some background info...
The South Platte River flows from somewhere in Colorado into the Platte River in Nebraska...it then flows into the Missouri River.... Ok...here's the joke.... Person #1: Did you know the Platte River is flooding? Person #2: No, what's causing it? Person #1: All the Coloradans crying about the Rose Bowl. Yeah...that's not very funny....but hopefully it pisses some Coloradans off....hehe! |
12-13-2001, 01:35 PM | #2 |
Tubbed and Juiced
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Posts: 1,861
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12-13-2001, 02:12 PM | #3 |
Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Myrtle Beach SC
Posts: 1,643
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Good joke time.
OK what do you get when you cross a Cow and a kangaroo?
Dont know. Me either but what ever it is you have to milk it on a pogo-stick. HAh hhah hahhaahahahhahaha
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1990 GT, 347, TFS TW Heads, TFS Cam, TFS Track heat, Twin turbos, FMIC, T5. Built Ford Tough Moderator |
12-13-2001, 02:19 PM | #4 |
Don Corlione
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Omaha NE USA
Posts: 491
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Nice Colorado blast. The crying is pretty pathetic.
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Eric - 89 Mustang LX coupe 5 speed 302-Cobra Intake-GT40p heads-TFS stage 1 cam-FRPP 1.6 roller rockers-3:73 gears-KYB shocks and struts-Eibach Pro-kit-HPM Mega-bite upper and lower control arms-FRPP aluminum driveshaft-16x8 Chrome Cobra Rs R.H.C. #14 |
12-13-2001, 04:05 PM | #5 |
All about the Windsor.
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 2,052
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I thought it was pretty funny how Barnett just about started bawling when he heard about it. Then he made a speech and just about started crying again! What a baby....
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12-13-2001, 04:42 PM | #6 |
He said Member...heh, heh
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Jupiter, Florida U.S.A.
Posts: 3,718
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My favorite:
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went though a red light". After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. And again, they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
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Joe! 1988 GT, 13.58@101mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com |
12-13-2001, 05:49 PM | #7 |
Yay for Chickys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,532
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HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH *wipes away tear*
dude that was TOO funny...makes me visualize 2 little old ladies in a land yacht |
12-13-2001, 07:06 PM | #8 |
Mustang Maniac
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: GA, U.S.A
Posts: 2,266
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Ha. That was a good one JL1314.
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351W-powered 1979 Ford Mustang Ghia notchback '79 Video @ Idle Stock 5.8L under 4" cowl 'glass hood, C4 w/ Transgo shift kit, Holley 750 cfm, Edelbrock Performer RPM intake; Fluidyne Al radiator, Flexalite 175 electric fan, 1 5/8" MAC shorty headers, FRPP Al driveshaft; S&W 6-point cage; 2.5" Off road H-pipe, 2-chamber Flowmasters, 8.8" Rear w/ 3.55s; Weld wheels (15x6;15x8), Front: 225/60/15, Rear: 275/50/15 Nitto NT 555R Drag Radials; 14 x 4” K&N X-stream air filter. '92 GT (5-speed) Small In Car Video Stock 5.0L, 2-chamber Flowmasters, MAC CAI, Tri-Ax, Al pedals... "Red, thou art my companion. Hasten now your quickened metamorphosis to Green that I may conquer all who dare abide there beside me. May they be left thither behind burnt black." ---Fox Body |
12-13-2001, 07:12 PM | #9 |
HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW!
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,556
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lol That is a funny one. lol Some guy sent me this one at work.
Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars ...Your neighbor from forty miles away.... Having a Xmas party Friday ... Thought you might like to come. About 5..." "Great," says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em." Again, as he starts to leave, Lars tops. "More'n'likely gonna be some fightin' too." Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Lars turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us".
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1969 Mustang Mach 1**Sold** 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car **For Sale - Email me for Info** 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4 |
12-13-2001, 07:20 PM | #10 |
I'd rather be basketweaving
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 2,551
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In my best "The Ladies Man" voice....
"Uh yah, thats just disgusting, ok"
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NMRA O/C 9516 NA pumpgas stickshift 347 10.65@125.6, 6.73@100, 1.41 60ft |
12-13-2001, 08:43 PM | #11 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Heeh, I've heard/told that joke before. Its funny, but I think you need to give it a different delivery
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12-13-2001, 10:58 PM | #12 | |
He said Member...heh, heh
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Jupiter, Florida U.S.A.
Posts: 3,718
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Quote:
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Joe! 1988 GT, 13.58@101mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com |
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12-13-2001, 11:22 PM | #13 |
Mustang Maniac
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: GA, U.S.A
Posts: 2,266
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AAAaahh. that's funny 1969Mach1. Gonna have to remember that one.
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351W-powered 1979 Ford Mustang Ghia notchback '79 Video @ Idle Stock 5.8L under 4" cowl 'glass hood, C4 w/ Transgo shift kit, Holley 750 cfm, Edelbrock Performer RPM intake; Fluidyne Al radiator, Flexalite 175 electric fan, 1 5/8" MAC shorty headers, FRPP Al driveshaft; S&W 6-point cage; 2.5" Off road H-pipe, 2-chamber Flowmasters, 8.8" Rear w/ 3.55s; Weld wheels (15x6;15x8), Front: 225/60/15, Rear: 275/50/15 Nitto NT 555R Drag Radials; 14 x 4” K&N X-stream air filter. '92 GT (5-speed) Small In Car Video Stock 5.0L, 2-chamber Flowmasters, MAC CAI, Tri-Ax, Al pedals... "Red, thou art my companion. Hasten now your quickened metamorphosis to Green that I may conquer all who dare abide there beside me. May they be left thither behind burnt black." ---Fox Body |
12-13-2001, 11:31 PM | #14 |
All about the Windsor.
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 2,052
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I have to say that I have just about perfected the Leon Phelps "Ladies Man" voice. Especially that saying! My friends are always wanting me to say it and stuff....kinda ironic you just said that!
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12-14-2001, 01:10 AM | #15 |
Registered Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The Great State of Indiana
Posts: 353
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A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a
road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One American soldier is better than ten Taliban". The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One American soldier is better than one hundred Taliban". Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The American voice calls out again "One American soldier is better than one thousand Taliban". The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends then across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's two of them." |
12-14-2001, 01:12 AM | #16 | |
He said Member...heh, heh
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Jupiter, Florida U.S.A.
Posts: 3,718
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Quote:
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Joe! 1988 GT, 13.58@101mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com |
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12-14-2001, 01:14 AM | #17 |
All about the Windsor.
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 2,052
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HAHAHAHA!!!!!
That one was great!!!!!..... |
12-14-2001, 01:42 AM | #18 |
All about the Windsor.
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 2,052
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This pic is awesome!!!!!!
Here's a picture I just got in an email!! It's awesome!
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12-14-2001, 07:01 AM | #19 |
HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW!
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,556
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lol that's rough for Taliban. To bad they're screwed and there going to get alot more then 2 troops. I have a ton more of funny jokes. When I get to work I'll try to post them.
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1969 Mustang Mach 1**Sold** 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car **For Sale - Email me for Info** 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4 |
12-14-2001, 07:08 AM | #20 |
My poor 79 RIP
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Suisun City,
Posts: 2,320
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Here's another old lady joke.
A cop is stitting behind tree next to a freeway when a car goes driving past him going 44mph. He thinks to himself "that slow car is just as dangerious as a speeding car." So he pulls that car over. In it are four elderly women. He gently raps on the window and the driver rolls down the window. He asks "Mamm, do u know how fast u were going?" She replies "why yes, I was going 44mph." He then asks "Do ku know what the speed limit is?" She replies, "Yes, the sign said 44." Puzzled, the Cop asks, " Mamm, why sign are u talking about." She says, "Well, there's one there, right in front of me." He then says, "Mamm, that's the sign saying what freeway your on, the speed signs are white, they say 65 mph." The Old lady replies, "I'm sorry officer, I didn't know, I will follow the right signs now." The Officer says to the driver, "Well, I'm going to let u go now, just remember to follow the right sings next time." As he starts to walk away, he looks at the back seat, turns around and asks the driver, Are the other women alright, they look white, as if they saw a ghost. The driver replies, "Oh, they'll be alright soon, you see, we just got off of Highway 120."
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