Marya (FireBird Girl) Vanished without a trace.
 

Okay, This is not a complaint, or me whining about relationship problems. This is me, worried about someones well bieng and safety.

I havent talked to her for a week and some. I've sent her e-mails and got no response, left a message later last week on her message machine at work. No reply. Thought she might be upset and or stressed, so I sent her a bouquet of flowers to her work place Friday.

Got no Thank You call, Friday or Saturday, which I thought was rude. Last time I talked to her everything seemed good. My friend Sam (The Groper) is a member of the FireBird Club, and he tried calling her back. She had called him the Saturday prior, but he wasnt home, and we think she tried calling me while we were out Saturday. He assumed she was calling him to talk about me, and ask questions about me, thats the only thing he said he could think of.

Well he tried calling her back, and then called me and asked to try calling her. I did, her house number was disconnected, and her Cell Phone number came up as invalid (I had called her many of times before, and talked to her on both).

We went and talked to some of her friends, THey hadnt heard from her in a long while. Said they tried calling, and got the same thing.

Sam, stopped by her Apartment to see why she had called that Saturday, and her car was sitting outside (Her only Vehicle) and there were no lights, no nothing. He said her car looked like it had been sitting for a long while.

She's as bad as me about keeping her "Baby" clean and shiny. And she loves driving as much as I do.

Sunday he stopped back by three times. Samething..Nothing. Car outside, no one home. No daughter, no baby sitter, no nothing. Monday, Same thing. And when she has her daughter baby sat, the baby sitter always goes over Marya's and watches her daughter there.

I think she may of had a family emergency and had to leave the country (She's from teh Fillipines, and has family in Canada.) with her daughter.

I would ask the gate gaurd (She lives in a gated community) if he knows anything, but I dont want to pry or raise suspicion on myself. None of her friends, or I know where she is, or what the situation is. Now were all getting worried because its been a week and a half since anyone has last heard from her. :(

Sounds like what you said...something immediately came up and she didn't have a chance to tell anyone. I guess there's nothing you can really do...just wait until she calls or writes or something.

However, the phone deal sounds creepy...even though it being shut off obviously means that she intended on being away for an extended period of time, so I would take that as a good sign :).

Not to pry, but are you two an item? If not, that's probably why she didn't call. She may only have had time to call family etc. I know you're worried, and I hope she turns up soon. Keep us posted!

Everything Belle said. She'll turn up soon. Dont worry.

Brad

Yeah, I'm trying to think realistically instead of like the A-Typical Guy. At first I was kinda hurt that she didnt call me, but I looked at things realistically and understand.

My mom said the phone in my room rang several times through the night that Saturday. She doesnt believe in leaving messages, like most people. All of my friends that have that number were with me, except for her.

Sam is the only other trust worthy friend she has (He's the one that kinda introduced us and got things going).

She hasnt known me long enough to put alot of trust in me. Everyone knows we have something going on, but its just in the early development stages.

About the phones bieng disconnected, I thought the same thing, but another possibility is she was deliquent on her payments. I wont go into detail because that kinda personal stuff. But she gets real busy with her accounting bussiness, and wrapped up in its bills, on paperwork and sometimes she loses her own personal bills in a pile.

I could do some invistagting with the connections I have, but I feel that would be serouisly misusing them, and I dont want to pry to much. People need there privacy.

With all the Nut Cases in Fayetteville, and our Crime Rate, and some of the horrendous things that have went on here, I worry though. A pretty, well-off, single mom that doesnt have many friends would be an easy target. Especailly since she works at the court house. :(

I'll be prayin for her safe return Damien..;)

That sounds scary, don't worry bud I'm sure she is safe, try asking any neighbours? I'm pretty sure if you explain your situation they will understand your just a concerned friend. Hope she is safe, my prayers are with her.

Take Care,
§am

Mysterious disappearance
 

Mercury:

This is a very strange situation and one you should be concerned about.

Something is wrong here.

A fastidious person like Marya wouldn't fail to show up at her business - or her home - leave her pampered vehicle outside for days on end and have all of her phones disconnected for no good reason.

She has a business, a nice residence, good car, etc. No one simply leaves those things behind on a whim. The fact that she has a child is what makes this disappearance even more perplexing. Very mysterious, to say the least.

Out of genuine concern, I would cease being so protective of her 'privacy' and start using some of your resources to get more information. Anything is possible.

Marya may have simply skipped out due to mounting debt (improbable, but not totally impossible), had immigration problems you didn't know about (why would you?), was called away on a family emergency (as you postulated) or perhaps there was some kind of foul play involved. All options have to be considered here, even the worst ones.

I would try to find out what happened to the flowers she had delivered to her business address.
Did she sign for them? Who took them? The florist may have some sort of record of this.

Where is the child? Did Marya contact the baby-sitter and cancel? Who cancelled the phone service? Lots of questions that need answers so if you have any contacts that could help provide them, I wouldn't hesitate to call on those folks, but of course, do so discreetly and in a way that it wouldn't get back to Marya, if at all possible.

If it looks like you have real reason to suspect something bad happened, you can go to the police and ask them to do some checking, but you'll need solid evidence, not speculation. As long as Marya isn't suspected of a crime the police won't do much just because she disappeared, although the circumstances do seem weird - and the sudden nature of her disappearance is very troubling, to say the least.

I can think of some really awful scenarios that I won't even get into here as it would serve no purpose right now but I do think you should put aside worries about prying and try to (discreetly) find out what happened to her.

If it turns out to be a simple explanation, fine. She should be impressed with your concern; after all, you're not stalking her. Her sudden disappearence is a legitimate cause for your concern. You care about what happens to her.

If she just wanted to get away or had some family emergency, your relief would be palpable and I'll bet that Marya would be really touched by your concern for her well-being. Most women would, as long as you don't do anything to make problems for her in the process.

In any event I urge you do what you reasonably (and legally) can to get to the bottom of this mystery. Hopefully she'll turn up at home soon and the mystery will be over.

Please keep us informed.

By the way Merc; Never let it be said that you lead a dull life.

Mercury, I hope she is all right somthing is not right that is For sure And if she is all right like Mr. 5.0 said Marya would be really touched by your concern for her well-being. Do what you can with in reson to Find out, Whats UP.

Detective...
 

Hey; we all know you're concerned. Thats good.
I would ask the gatekeeper. What if something happened to her in her apartment? I don't think its wrong to worry about another individual. I would assume she left the country. If she did leave, how did she get to the airport? Taxi? A friend? Talk to her babysitter, maybe she would know something.


I know this may sound low to some of you; but if I were in your shoes and you want to find out if she is ignoring you (or MIA) put a piece of Scotch tape on the top of her door. Check it later in the week. I know that sounds strange but in a situation like this - it could help out.

Other than that, its most likely a legitimite excuse so I wouldn't worry about it for the moment. See how long goes by - then make your decision on the facts that you do know.

I hope she's O.K!

Merc; I agree with Mr 5 0; something doesn't sound right about this. I would try checking into it more.

Dude, your luck is about like mine. It's very strange for someone to just disappear though with no word at all.

Good luck to you, I hope you find out something soon.

:confused:

Okay. I called the Florist. They checked there records and could only tell me someone with the intials LR intialed for them. So she wasnt there to take them. I asked to speak to the person that delivered them, and he couldnt remember crap.

I drove by her place, and checked it out as much as I could with out looking supicious myself. Her nieghbors didnt appear to be home.

Car was filthy, and has not been driven for a while. I gatherd that from looking at the amount of crap and dirt on her windshield, and the fact that it was in the same EXACT spot for the few days prior.

No one home, no lights, no TV on.My next step is to ask my friends who are probabtion officers who work at the court house, and see what they can find out.

I also looked into the funeral habits for some of the asian cultures (In case she did have a family emergency) and some can take 10 days to 2 weeks. So it not like the 3 day thing that we have in america.

Merc...

I think it is time for you to start thinking about talking to your friends (cop) and try yo find out something to ease your mind. You gotta be goin nuts by now. I would not leave one thing to chance..Do what everyone here has said. I think there is something goin on, and she might really could use you..if you can locate her. Go to the manager at her apartment and let them know of your concern, unless you think that is too bold. I don't.

I have been praying for her to return. Hoping by now that she had shown back up with some sort of explanation. Keep tryin to find her Damien.. It is really important for you to do that, for your peice of mind. Been there, Done that. Good Luck

The plot thickens
 

Mercury:

Thanks for the update.

Now you know that Marya wasn't around as early as last Friday. It's a start.

Finding out who called to order the phones disconnected would be worthwhile - if you can get the information. I know that my cell-phone company (AT&T) requires a personal password to do anything, for what that's worth.

I find the fact that her phones were disconnected very odd. If you or I were called away suddenly for a two or even a three-week absence, would we go to all the trouble of having our phone service suspended or terminated? I doubt it. That would mean that she would have to go to all the trouble of having everything re-connected at a later date, possibly necessitating being assigned new numbers (always a hassle). Odd.

Add to that fact that we have to believe Marya took the time and trouble of having her telephone service disconnected (while being in a rush to leave) but left her otherwise well-cared-for Firebird sitting outside in the driveway instead of taking the 60 seconds it may have taken to drive it in to a garage. Doesn't fit.

Was her child in school? Public, private or nursery school? Who took him/her out?

I would ask your probation department friends what you can find out from public records and of course, what they can find out with their enhanced legal authority.

Immigration records would be very helpful as they might give you a lead to her family in the Phillipines. Not sure what you could do with that except to see where it takes you.

What about her business? Does she have any employees or was she a sole owner? If she had clients, what happened to them? Did she call them or send them an e-mails letting them know she would be unavailable or what? Worth checking.

I would keep discreetly watching the house and doing what you can to find out more.

Thanks again for keeping us informed. This is a fascinating little mystery that I sincerely hope has a happy ending where all is simply explained and you and Marya are reunited.

I placed a few calls to my old employees that work for the county. One of them is even real real close to the Mayor of the City, I should know something by tommorrow. I told them the situation, and let them know I was just concerned about her well bieng, and not trying to pry or snoop.

I know I can trust them, were not friends really per say, they used to work for me and all left on good terms.

Next step, if they come back and say she never gave any notice to work about her absence, is to contact my friend the Fayetteville City Police Officer.

I wont have any luck with the phone company. I tried that once before along time ago. My one Ex-Girlfriend ran away from home, and called me from several diffrent phones during the course of her time away from home. No phone Company was coperative, no matter what approach I tried. I didnt involve any of my friends though. Although I was able to figure out what public phones she had used, and the times. No pattern to them, and they werent even close by one another, so I couldnt really pinpoint a location. Dang that was like 5 1/2 years ago.

That was not great. I had the police breathing down my neck then. They thought I knew where she was, even a Private Investigator was scoping me out.

I did my own investigating, and got more done than they did. Made me look real supicious though. This is another reason why I'm worried, I'm not sure if they have that kinda crap on file. But I had nothing to do with her(My one Ex) running away either. Nor did I know where my ex ran off to, other than it was in Fayetteville.

wow good luck merc this just all sounds too wierd, i hope you find out something real soon , good luck:confused:

whoa....

Anyways, I think that you have done almost all that you can to try to find her, but yer probably not the only one that is concerned and trying to locate her. Perhaps her family (if they dont know where she is) and close friends that you probably don't know.

With the information you submitted in the last post, I really wouldn't dig any deeper, or you might find yourself knee deep in trouble. Stalking laws, as Mr. 5.0 said, are so strict nowadays you don't really know what could happen. Good luck, and once again I hope she turns up.

Not to seem like a jerk, but maybe she is trying to avoid you? Sounds all too much like she is.:(

Searchin' ('gonna find her')
 

Mercury:

Thanks again for the information. Looks like you're on the right track.

I wouldn't worry too much about looking 'suspicious'. Although you had a bad experience once trying to find someone, that was five years ago and you did nothing wrong. This is different.

Marya is an adult, not some runaway teenager, and you're no longer a teenager, either. It's an adult situation and you're not doing anything wrong. No stalking or harrassment here. The woman you know (albeit casually) has seemingly disappeared into thin air with no word, no trace and she left some rather suspicious clues behind, like the shut-off telephone (home and cell) and leaving her normally-protected car outside.

All valid reasons for your concern and as the days go by with no word from her and nothing changes in the situation, your curiosity - not to mention your apprehension - should be mounting.

You're doing the right thing. Keep digging.

Well, I just said that because there are MANY people (especially men) nowadays that do nothing wrong, and still get pinned with a bad rap, and it pisses me right off :mad:

I've had several friends that were sold up the river based on a woman's word ALONE...so I guess I'm real wary as a result of those experiences. Do what it takes to help you sleep better at night, but just be careful.

Marya mystery disappearance
 

1BAD89:

No way is this woman simply trying to avoid Mercury. She could do that with a phone call. He's been a perfect gentleman with her and has done nothing to harrass her in any way, shape or form up to the time of her disappearance.

She hasn't shown up at her business or her home for almost a week, her phones are shut off and her good car sits outside, untouched while her home stays dark and still, no word from her.

Now, she may have simply had to leave suddenly for some unknown reason with no real drama involved but abandoning your home, your business, your late-model car just to avoid some guy you've only known casually? I can't see it unless he had harrassed and badly frightened Marya, in which case she could have had him arrested long before going to all this trouble. It wouldn't be hard, as Mustangbelle306 said. Her word against his and guess who they believe? The petite woman who is crying and shaking with fear while begging the cops to "Keep him away from me"! or the big guy who says "But I just wanted to talk to her". Enough said.

Whatever happened to Marya, easily explained or sinister, it certainly wasn't an attempt to get away from a guy she had a brief, casual relationship with and who did nothing but act like a gentlemen, if we can believe Merc - which I do.

Even if Merc can't get to the bottom of this, Marya has to either show up and hopefully make contact with him or else she'll just never come back and Mercury will find out later what happened (went back to the Phillipines perhaps). Worst case is that the police will investigate and come up with something. It may not be good but he'll know what happened.

Meanwhile, I wish Mercury well with his 'Marya investigation' and I know he'll be careful, as Mustangbelle306 correctly advised.

I await the next development.

Sorry merc, I haven't been keeping up with you and all your ladies. ;) I hope you find out what has happened, that all does seem pretty weird....I'd look into it further, she might need some help, good luck, and sorry if you took my comment the wrong way.

1BAD89.

No problem man. I didnt take it the wrong way. I thought the same thing for about 2 seconds till I started putting some things together.

MustangBelle.

I majored in criminal justice for a year and some. The stalking laws in North Carolina are non existant. Its almost impossible to have the amount of proof needed to press stalking charges. There has to be a "Frequency" to the events, and you have to have substanial proof.

Thanks for the words of caution though. I appreciate you alls concern.

I havent been rude, or pushy to her at all, as Mr 5.0 said. I try my hardest to not be a nuissance or a pest to anyone. Especially her.

She doesnt have many friends, just a handfull, and I know off most of them. None of them know where she is either.

Thanks you all for your support. I hope this mystery comes to a happy end soon.

Too Wierd!!!
 

Thats too wierd Merc....
Hope you find her and everything works out okay in the end.....and I wish you all the happiness in the long run!!!! Hang in there! :) Topless

that does seem very weird though. I dont understand why her phone lines are dead though. If she had a family emergency i dont see why her phone lines would be dead. :confused: owell I hope everything turns out ok and returns to normal quick.

Later

Well guys and girls, thank you so much for you alls support and concern. I have an update for you all.

She's okay, and alive (Relief), but All is not happy and cheery for me. I will tell you all when I calm down and can type/think clearly. The stupid games people play. :mad:

I dont have all the details yet either. I'm not sure if I should even waste my time long enough to find out all the details.:mad: I dont play stupid games when it comes to matters of the heart.

Not to pry but can you tells us a bit more......... did she Just move???only a little more info.......... what you can feel you can tell us.

Always expect anything when dealing with people especially filipina's. I was stationed in the Philippines for four years and have been going there since 1983. Actually they are pretty predictable if you been around them long enough. You don't have to reveal what happened if you don't want to. If she grew up over there things are different than if she grew up over here but she was still most likely instilled with many phillippine ideas by her mother.

Unhappy endings
 

Mercury:

As you well know, I had a lot of interest in this little drama so naturally the suspense is killing me. However, from the enigmatic nature of your last post I can gather that Marya may be alive and well but whatever you had starting is probably shattered for some reason. I strongly suspect a severe lack of candor on her part is the culprit here, which is always poison to any new relationship.

Although we would all appreciate some sort of resolution to the story, even a negative one, you are certainly under no obligation to tell us more than you're comfortable with.

We hope you know you're among friends here so whether you tell all or simply give us the basics, we sympathize with the stress and confusion you went through this past week and support whatever you choose to do at this point.

O i see...
 

That's so nice to hear that you finally found out what happened to her...I've been sitting at my comp reading this whole post, didn't get up once...i'm with mr. 5.0...if u wanna let us know what happened that'd be nice, but if not, that's cool too...I hope everything is ok.

OMGGGGGGGGGG *pleaseeeeeeeee* tell us ARGH I'm dying to know :D

Despite the desperate tone of that first sentence, I am sorry that you seem upset over whatever happened, and I hope it isn't what I think it was (which is why I am SO curious).

Well, she did not disapear. It was just extremely bad timing on me and Sams part everytime we stopped by.

Her phone got disconnected because she forgot to pay the bill, and could not get the same numbers back.

She lost my numbers and said she was very sorry. She said she tore apart everything looking for them, and basically ruined her day planner rumaging through it so much, and with the intensity that she searched. Thats why it was all over the interior of her car.

She's been extremely busy with her bussiness and the Tax season thats why none of her friends but one have heard from her.

Her Ex has had the kid the last week.

She recieved the flowers, but wasnt there to sign for them. She was in a meeting.

We met one of her friends out there Saturday night, and I talked to her. She told me Marya said thank you for the Flowers, and has been dying to call me but lost my numbers, and said Marya has been trying to get in touch with Sam to get my numbers from him.

She said Marya is Very interested, and likes me, but thanks to Tax season, and her bussiness, doesnt have much time, plus this is a busy time of year for her at her full time job. (Makes sense since she works in that field).

I didnt believe her, and told her I didnt appreciate being subjected to such juvenile games. I was visibly pissed off. I told her if Marya wants to play around and do games, to go someplace else. I told her I dont have Time for such crap. And told her that it hurt me. Then walked off.

Well Sunday, all of the connections I called prior, got in contact with me, and verfied everything Marya and her friend have said. My friend Sam wanted me to go over and talk to Marya, but I was to mad to, and upset to. My friend Sam (The groper) went over to her house to see what the deal was, and to make sure he didnt have the wrong impression of her.

He said first thing she asked was what my phone numbers were. Anyway to make things short, she called me and apoligized for loosing my numbers, and to tell me thank you for the flowers and to ask me if we might be able to see each other next weekend.

I was still irrate about the whole situation and told her "Maybe". She kept apologizing and kept telling me that its the truth, she lost my numbers and has been trying to find people that might know them.

I found out from my connections that she tried pulling some of her strings to find out my numbers. And that she really loved the flowers, and was telling everyone how bad she felt because she couldnt even get in touch with me to thank me because she lost my numbers. They said she seemed really happy about the flowers and seemed Real happy when she found out who they were from. Also found out she's been telling her co-workers about me, In a good way.

I'm still skeptical. Even with my bad, dumb, luck, the timing of all the events just seems........:confused:

Oh well. She said she'd give me a call soon, when ever she gets a chance. We'll have to see about that. I wont hold my breath.:(

sounds like you need a drink. well at least now you know the story. sounds like it was just dumb luck her losing your number. go out with her and have a good time together,and calm down...

Merc, if you ever get tired of fedex, I'm pretty sure you could land a job south of here (Hollywood) as a writer. You keep people (myself included) rivited to their monitors. It's amazing the power a good storyteller holds. Anyway, because of my past experience, a red flag went up when her dissapearance coincided with her ex and the child, but it still sounds pretty good. I'm a very skeptical person when it comes to situations like this, and could probably shoot her story full of holes if I tried hard enough, but that wouldn't be productive, and would be more about me feeling better about my past mistakes than trying to lend you support, so I won't even try. My gut says "be careful", but the rest of me says have fun.

Take care,
-Chris

PRKWUD

I'm the same way. I'm skeptical because of past experiences, and look for holes or gaps in peoples stories. I play dumb alot of the time and ask for things to be repeated after a length of time, just to see if anything changes also.

I want to believe her, but am afraid to, for fear of being hurt, and for fear of being guliable and niave like I have been in the past.

I dont have any reason to yet, but......I'll just have to see how, and where things go from here on out.

It sounds like it was about the best out come that could have happend to me..brfore you put your foot in your mouth. But it sounds like she will for give you, give it a little time. I have a freind that woks so many Hours and never can do any thing some parts of the year I mean Like 2AM-9PM 7 days a week not allway that many hours.

What next?
 

Mercury:

Thanks for giving us the final scene in this episode of the 'Where's Marya' saga.

Seriously; I'm glad it was 'all a misunderstanding' and nothing bad happened to the woman but you had to suffer a lot of angst over this and you have a perfect right to be highly skeptical of anything Marya says at this point.

I'm very suspicious of (and have an aversion to) female minipulation in a dating scenario so I concur with your current cautious attitude.

I would consider having dinner (or doing something else public and non-committal) with her to reestablish contact but don't dwell on the last week's events or make accusations. See how she comes across and go from there.

Frankly, if she is really so busy, I don't see how you two can ever have get anything going. There is simply no avoiding the fact that it takes time together to establish a relationship. You both need to not only talk, openly and freely without holding back or attempting to project some idealized 'image', but you need to see and experience each other in various settings and situations; tired, hassled, happy, giddy, worried, frightened, whatever - in order to really learn about who the other really is, not what they want you to think they are or what you may wish they were.

That takes time, real honesty and a willingness to possibly be rejected for who you are as well as taking the chance that you'll ultimately reject her for who she really is, as it may not be at all compatable with you or your needs and desires.

This risk is the price of being honest and when it works it's a great reward and when it doesn't - and you end up parting - it's still a reward as you know you did the right thing for the right reasons. Point is; all this requires honesty on the part of both people involved; without that, you're wasating your time. Marya needs to understand that, without accusing her but with sincerity and a desire to 'be real'.

Dating and relationships, once beyond the adolescent level, take a lot of work, which means a lot of time. That's why folks who marry after a few months of dating usually end up divorced - and the exceptions only prove the rule.

I would consider that you make the suggestion to Marya that perhaps you both should wait until after tax season to get together, when she may have more time for dating, but that you both try to stay in touch in the meantime. See what she says. This isn't a ploy; if she's really so busy, you're simply responding to the reality of the situation. If she still wants to 'make time' for you then it has to be concrete; that is, she can't do this disappearing act again. She has to understand that 'once is enough'.

As for having your phone number(s); here's a suggestion: Tell Marya to set up a database on her computer listing all of her phone numbers. Save it and print it off; putting it next to her phone at home and/or at the office.
That way, she has it printed out and if she loses it or forgets it, it's on the computer hard drive. Of course she should add your number(s) to her cell phone address book for easy access.

Frankly, I'm still skeptical and somewhat suspicious of this lady and this whole 'Where's Marya' episode but it's your call and I trust you know a lot more than any of us as to what's your next best move. Just be cautious.

Best of luck to you Merc - and thanks for a great bit of factual storytelling with a semi-happy ending.

Mercury,

As usual I will attempt to be completely frank with you without being rude :). From the tone of your post, I am suddenly reminiscent of 10th grade dating situations on both of your parts..."connections"...pulling strings...talking to everyone she/you knows...

I really don't think she would even care enough to give a hoot what you think if she didn't really like you, at least as a cherished friend. To tell you the truth, after re-reading the post, I don't even see HOW you have any ground to stand on to be angry at her, besides that it really would have been nice to hear from her.

I don't even see any evidence of so-called "games that people play". Maybe I'm missing something but - what games exactly? Personally, if I were her, and you gave me a nonchalant attitude about it after I hunted you down and honestly explained the situation, I'd never call you again just for that. The woman is a single mother with a busy career...she is obviously not cruel because she would rather be honest and say she is too busy, instead of hooking you in and dragging you along, all the while never having time for you.

Tons of women nowadays wouldn't even have bothered to call you, much less call to thank for the flowers or attempt to set your mind at rest. I sincerely think you are overreacting due to your past experiences, and this is exactly what always ruins it for people. However, it would also be unwise to jump headfirst into this situation, which I take it was your problem in the past.

Why don't you aim for the HAPPY MEDIUM :D Somewhat trusting, yet cautious...i.e. see if she calls, and go out on a date again...

EDIT:

I also agree with Mr. 5.0; My fiancee and myself have been together a short time, but we spend ALL the time either together, on the phone or on the net talking. I also do see why the disappearing act is weird. REGARDLESS...barring the fact that she didn't call, vanishing like that in general is just creepy and suspicious...I just don't think you should really expect that much at this point of the relationship. Seems like you might have been a little more serious than she was (take it from someone who gets attached REAL quick ;))
Like 5.0 said; just take it slow and give things a chance. Either they will work out - or they won't.

Female Manipulation? :rolleyes: I think its human manipulation...both sexes have guilty specimens...

glad she's ok
 

I've been following this thread from the begginning and I tend to agree with Mustangbelle's comments above. However, If I were you, I too would be upset with how it all went down, but..... my biggest concern would be that you don't give it another chance and it really was just a horrible combination of events. That wouldn't be fair to you or her.

At first I was under the impression that she was playing games.

I do understand that she is extremely busy person and a single mom.

I was not referring to "Connections" in a high school sense, such a a friend of a friend, but to people of certian authority and/or status that could determine if the girl was actaully missing or not. I was more concerned for her safety than my own personal intrest in a relationship.

What leaves me skeptical is the chain of events that lead to the lack of communication. It would be hypacritical of me not to understand, seeing as how I go through strands of wierd luck also.

I didnt accuse her directly of playing games, I told her friend that, which I suspected would get around to Marya. I figured either way, she would know how I felt since I havent been able to communicate with her.

I did jump to conclusions, but I think she saw why I came to the conclusion I did.

I hope things go well between me and her, and I'm willing to take what ever time neccassary. But I just wanted to let her know out right, I dont play games..Unless it involves WHip Cream and choclate sauce:D

Thanks you all. I'm glad it had a happy ending also.

Oh and she was touched that I was worried about her well being.

I saw a website with pictures of that, once.







Man, it was gross.

:rolleyes: :D

this was a very interesting thread and series of events. I would just take things as they are worth. She was a really busy person and lost ur phone number. She obviously likes u or she wouldn't have tried to get into conntact with u again. I think u read into situations too much. I really dont think this situation was as big of deal as u made it out to be.

It's tax season and she 's going to be very busy. People work all day long - all they want to do is to go home and go to bed. I seriously doubt there was anything else going on (well, maybe there was).

Just dont' do anything else and wait for her to call and go from there. If she doesn't, oh well. There are lots of women in this world. If she does - hey go out on a date with her. Just don't even mention the situation or what happened. I wouldn't even get mad at her it is not worth all the angst it brings u. I mean, she isn't even ur girlfriend.

Keep yourself busy, go out and have fun. If she likes u she will come around but if she don't; Oho well. Go get yourself another girl.

If I was really dating somebody and they did that, I would be pissed. If I was just seeing them a little, I would not. Quite frankly, pulling a disappearing act like that is grounds for me to dismiss the relationship (if there is one).

I don't see any manipulation, but what I do see is a lack of courtesy. My sister is a young single mom (back off guys, if you think my typing attacks are scalding you don't even want to know what happens if you hurt my little sisters :D ) and she, like most other young single moms would kill for a good guy to be interested in them dispite having a child. If she doesn't have time to call you, or drop by for a couple weeks? that's pretty lame. You cannot have a real relationship with somebody like that. If she doesn't have the time to fit you into her schedule, then she doesn't.

As far as losing your number, does she have internet, or a phone book? How about a cell phone with your number programmed into it? It's really hard for me to buy that line. Maybe she wanted some space and then got nervous you'd be mad? Who knows.

A hint of advice, you can only stay pissed at her a little while before she will get pissed back. That means you need to make up your mind, and quick if you want any chance with her. You can let her know you're upset about it, but you don't want to come across as though you're trying to really be an jerk and punish her for it. If you like her, give her another shot.

Lata,

Kell

All I want to know is how did she get the name Marya? Probably known over a thousand filipina's and never heard that name. Myra, Marivic, or Maria sounds more like it. My gut feeling, find another honeyko.

65GTO.

Many of the asian girls I've known and dated have americanized there names. Diane, May, Mary,and Sue and probably Marya also. Its common practice.

Marya isn't an american name as far as I know. The Philippines is very Americanized to begin with having been a US territory for half a century. They have american television and they all speak english. Maybe they were just trying to be original like some african americans by making up new names or maybe someone just mis-spellled on the birth certificate and then decided not to change it. Asian girls are not alike. Phillippine people are southeast islanders and are similiar to Indonesians, Malaysians,Thailanders,Cambodians, Viet Namese, etc. in looks but are not similiar in culture. Japanese,Chinese,Koreans are the asians that are the stereotypical oriental types. None of them are anywhere close to being as americanized as the Philippines. As far as using american names after coming here most Philippina don't need to because their name is already common to our names. Singapore was a surprise to me. They spoke mainly Chinese some English and their first names were Mary and Sue with last names like Hong and Chang.

Damien, could this be considered a happy ending?

I am really glad she is ok.
If her ex is involved..stay away dude. Just keep your skepticism in check, but if he is still in the pic at all, I would run like hell, just so I wouldn't get hurt again.
I have pulled the dissapearing act once for about 4 months..When I came back things have been so much better.
But if she does it again, be wary dude..please.
We don't want to see you hurt again;)