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12-12-2002, 12:47 PM
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#1 |
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GOT TORQUE ????
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: New Hudson, Michigan, USA
Posts: 689
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Maybe its a good thing Santa isn't honest.
If Santa answered his mail honestly............
=========== Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a ******* book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa ==== Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ======= Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his *** constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa ======= Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G. I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa ======== Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa ========= Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa ======== Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa ======= Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa ======= Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your *** whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa
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1991 GT, AOD, Moroso Cold Air, 3.73s, Pulleys, H-pipe, MAC Pro-Dumps, FMS c-springs, and KYBs, A/c delete, 190 LPH fuel pump, 3-row radiator, Maximum Motorsports full length subframes 2002 Oldsmobile Bravada(wife's car) 2005 Ford Taurus SEL (company ride) GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS !!!! |
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12-12-2002, 12:50 PM
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#2 |
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GOT TORQUE ????
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: New Hudson, Michigan, USA
Posts: 689
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The third one nearly had me crying while I was rotflol......
 Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his *** constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa hehehe..........screen door in a hurricane.............that's good stuff.
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1991 GT, AOD, Moroso Cold Air, 3.73s, Pulleys, H-pipe, MAC Pro-Dumps, FMS c-springs, and KYBs, A/c delete, 190 LPH fuel pump, 3-row radiator, Maximum Motorsports full length subframes 2002 Oldsmobile Bravada(wife's car) 2005 Ford Taurus SEL (company ride) GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS !!!! |
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12-12-2002, 06:17 PM
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#3 |
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Mustang Maniac
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: GA, U.S.A
Posts: 2,266
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AAAAAHHHH HHA AHA AH HAHA HA HA AH AH AHA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!! That is gotta be probably the funniest post I've seen on here (IMO). I'm gonna definitely have to spread this one around.. THANKS for a MEGA laugh!
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351W-powered 1979 Ford Mustang Ghia notchback '79 Video @ Idle Stock 5.8L under 4" cowl 'glass hood, C4 w/ Transgo shift kit, Holley 750 cfm, Edelbrock Performer RPM intake; Fluidyne Al radiator, Flexalite 175 electric fan, 1 5/8" MAC shorty headers, FRPP Al driveshaft; S&W 6-point cage; 2.5" Off road H-pipe, 2-chamber Flowmasters, 8.8" Rear w/ 3.55s; Weld wheels (15x6;15x8), Front: 225/60/15, Rear: 275/50/15 Nitto NT 555R Drag Radials; 14 x 4” K&N X-stream air filter. '92 GT (5-speed) Small In Car Video Stock 5.0L, 2-chamber Flowmasters, MAC CAI, Tri-Ax, Al pedals... "Red, thou art my companion. Hasten now your quickened metamorphosis to Green that I may conquer all who dare abide there beside me. May they be left thither behind burnt black." ---Fox Body |
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12-13-2002, 12:34 AM
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#4 |
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HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW!
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,556
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hahaha lmao... that was freakin' hillarious. I had to take a breather after each of them. lmao!
Thanks for the great laugh... §am.
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1969 Mustang Mach 1**Sold**  351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car **For Sale - Email me for Info** 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4 |
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12-13-2002, 02:49 AM
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#5 |
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Registered Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The Great State of Indiana
Posts: 353
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Holy Shitz those were hilarious!
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12-13-2002, 03:21 AM
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#6 |
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I got something to say
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,557
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ahahahahahha Those are awesome. Havent seen those before either. I love the "banging your babbysitter like a screen door in a hurricane" lmao!
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91 LX Hatch 5.0 - made for the twisties 89 LX Hatchback 5.0 5spd. stolen/stripped 4/7/05 http://www.mustangworks.com/cgi-bin/...splay.cgi?3494 1987 Toyota Pickup Ricer Haters Club Member #33 Want a custom gauge cluster for your Vintage Mustang? www.jmeenterprises.com |
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12-13-2002, 08:25 AM
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#7 |
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347ci of HORSE POWER!!!
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 1,416
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Those are good ones!
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