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Old 11-29-2001, 03:27 PM   #17
Mr 5 0
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Join Date: May 1997
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1969Mach I:

Age is a factor whether you guys realize it or not. This girl will be a different person in four or five years, as will you. I've seen it happen.

That said; all I can offer is that it appears she is playing both ends here. By that I mean that she has her steady boyfriend (you) while enjoying the attention of other guys with the added benefit (for her) of not only scoping out these guys but keeping you jealous, too. It's a win-win for her and must do wonders for her self-esteem. And you get what out of this deal?

I would ask her if she would mind if you hung around other girls. Play innocent. No matter what she says, she'll freak if you do this, guaranteed - and if not, she's probably not as into this reralationship as you may think.

One more thing; speaking very generally here - not just to you - but I see the word 'love' tossed around here like a Frisbie. I know it feels good to use that word but for one thing, most 14-year-olds have no clue what 'love' is.

It sure isn't 'love' when you want to 'hang around other guys' instead of the guy you 'love' and it isn't 'love' when you prefer to talk to another guy and leave the guy you supposedly 'love' on hold. These are juvenile games that young girls (and young guys) play out of insecurity and other motivations but not out of 'love'.

The older guys/gals here can tell you that love is committment, trust, honesty and a desire to please the other person and to see them happy, not make them jealous or keep them guessing about the state of the relationship.

Look, you guys are young and can call whatever it is you have going whatever you want, but I suggest that you look at the situation honestly and as it is, not as you may wish it was.

Whatever happens, we wish you well.
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