Girls, Girls, Girls..........

The Deuce · 07-17-2002, 01:22 AM

So I figure I am pretty much opening up myself to a world of hurt on this one but here goes.

Why is it so much easier to talk to girls you aren't that interested in? I was at a wedding on Sunday (great place to cruise for chicks) and was hitting it up with one of the girls there. I defiantly had the A-game working on that one. I had to leave early because I went with family, but I'm going to see her this week anyway, like I said, A-game.

However, there is this girl I'm friends with that totally rocks my world. Well, not like that.

I just can't figure out how to string enough words together to make a sentence when I'm around her. Totally confusing.

Is it just me, or do other people out there face the same dilemma? Is there a cure for this, or I am I going to die a bitter lonely man with and get buried in my Cobra?

joe4speed · 07-17-2002, 01:27 AM

It's weird... in my job (bartender) I get to talk to lots of gorgeous women all the time, I can talk about anything with them. But get me outside of work, and I'm the same way... it's weird! I am getting better though, not having such a hard time stringing words together!! LOL
Good luck!

69fastback · 07-17-2002, 01:32 AM

Dude i know how you feel I used to be the same way. I could talk to any chick there was except for the ones that I liked. Then one day i just decied that it was stupid to be nervous. I will never know if i just don't go right out and ask. So know these days I just come righ on out and say how i feel. Cuz i got tired of loosing girls cuz i didn't have the guts to tell the girls i really liked how i feel. It alll comes down to just sacking up and spiting it out if you ask me. YOu will get over being nervous faster that way. The longer you wiat the worse it is.

PKRWUD · 07-17-2002, 01:35 AM

Man, I thought it was going to be a Motley Crue question.

I don't know the answer, but the dilema definately exists. I have found being honest is what works best for me. It doesn't always work, but I never have to think back over what I may have said. Practice helps, too. When I worked at a hospital, I was intermingling with alot of good looking nurses, every day. After a while, it became routine. It also became fake, but that seemed like the way it worked ten years ago. These days, I'm much happier tripping over my own tongue but being honest, than BSing my way through a conversation smoothly. That's just me, though.

That didn't help much, did it? Sorry.

Take care,
-Chris

95mustanggt · 07-17-2002, 06:53 AM

Just get married. Then you can talk to who ever you want without any problems. Of course this is a catch 22, how do you get married if you can't talk to girls in the first place

Sorry, don't have an answer, I guess I just lucked out

mustangman65_79 · 07-17-2002, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 95mustanggt
Just get married. Then you can talk to who ever you want without any problems. Of course this is a catch 22, how do you get married if you can't talk to girls in the first place

Sorry, don't have an answer, I guess I just lucked out

Ya, gr8t, nice advise-lol

cyberstang5.0 · 07-17-2002, 07:50 AM

Well, I have a similar problem but it's not exactly the same. I can talk to any girl, that's not the problem.... it's breaking the ice that's extreamly hard for me. I just can't seam to say "hi". That's another reason why I don't go clubbing.

Either she needs to start the conversation, or I need to be introduced to her. After that, it's all good

That's how my GF and I met. I was introduced to her by a friend of mine, and the rest is history. Good luck man.

Keep this in mind... if you try to talk to her, and she blows you off, it's HER loss!

mustangman65_79 · 07-17-2002, 07:58 AM

I have no problem talking to girls, if I have something to talk about. My problem is breaking the ice with something worth while to talk about. I'm not one of those ppl who try to get a good pickup line, and use it. I like caual talk. But, as u can tell, it's not working for me because I never can tell women my true feelings, and I think tis is why I've been single for over 4 years. Yes, not one Gf since I was 16, maybe the car addiction drove them off?

Mr 5 0 · 07-17-2002, 12:08 PM

Why is it so much easier to talk to girls you aren't that interested in? ... there is this girl I'm friends with that totally rocks my world. I just can't figure out how to string enough words together to make a sentence when I'm around her. Totally confusing. - The Deuce

If you're attracted - physically and/or emotionally to a girl - then that very attraction will color your attitude and responses to her. You care what she thinks of you and how you appear to her. Does she think you're cool - or dork city?

On the other hand, if a girl is just a casual friend and you don't feel attracted or especially interested in her sexually or emotionally then your guard is down and you'll have no real concerns about impressing her.

Hormones and simple social conditioning all contribute to this weird situation of being comfortable around the opposite sex until you're attracted to a girl, then getting tongue-tied.

Experience helps and I found that when I was single, simple attraction and desire helped me to overcome whatever was holding me back and I was able to talk to girls that I really wanted to get to know.

Not always successfully of course but the basic desire to get closer to someone you find attractive and/or interesting usually overcomes initial shyness or the huge blank spot that appears where your mind used to be whenever a pretty girl comes along that interests you.

Keep trying and start casually. Don't think about 'lines' and how cool you can be, just chat about something simple for a minute and don't try so hard. It gets easier, eventually.

The Deuce · 07-17-2002, 12:33 PM

Thanks for the advice Mr 5 0-

I can make small talk with her, and we do have a lot in common. It is the weirdest thing, because I know I would be pretty good friends with her if she was a dude, because of all the common intersts.

But that's the point. She's hot. Add to that the fact that she is really shy, and gets hit on by random guys pretty much anywhere she goes, it sort of puts me between a rock and well.........

So I am going to see her tonight, in a big group with other mutual friends. I'm planning on asking her out for coffee or something fairly light like that. I am friends with her roomate too, which helps some. I need to ask her if she's seeing somebody. My only concern is that she was learning to surf from another friend (USMC Sniper

), who shipped out last week. I really don't want to get on that guys bad side, if you know what I mean.

I'll let y'all know what happens.

Mustangbelle306 · 07-17-2002, 01:25 PM

I have no problem talking to anyone. When I'm having a conversation with you and I'm likin' it, I don't give a hoot WHAT you look like

I just like to find people with common interests and blab away. Even when I was single, I just chatted aimlessly. If you liked me, GREAT! If not, no skin off my back

I am who I am!

Fox Body · 07-17-2002, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally disclosed by The Deuce
Why is it so much easier to talk to girls you aren't that interested in?...I just can't figure out how to string enough words together to make a sentence when I'm around her. Totally confusing....Is there a cure for this?

Okay. I guess the time has come.

I will reveal the SECRET to these great questions. The answer to women is ... is ... uh... internet....... signal..... fading... ah, ....th...answ... is..... fading....interne.....is...can't... typ...word.....is................

.......*signal lost*

Fox Body · 07-17-2002, 05:58 PM

Okay. Sorry for screwin around on that last post.

.

Hey, man, I understand your pain. I'm getting much better at dealing with this problem. I guess, the thought of what I could lose (and how much I love women) outweighs the fear of rejection or approaching and conversation. Seems like the older I get, the less time I have for crap like being nervous around women (or so I tell myself, hey and it's helping). Okay, I'll disclose no more. Bye bye now.

Mustangbelle306 · 07-17-2002, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fox Body

Okay. I guess the time has come.

I will reveal the SECRET to these great questions. The answer to women is ... is ... uh... internet....... signal..... fading... ah, ....th...answ... is..... fading....interne.....is...can't... typ...word.....is................

.......*signal lost*

*wipes away tear*

I did miss your humor, Fox! hehehehehe

Fox Body · 07-17-2002, 07:33 PM

The Deuce · 07-18-2002, 01:56 AM

So I am a big wuss. I talked to her for quite a while tonight, but never got around to asking her out. All things considered I am moving in the right direction, and I do have a good excuse to ask her out this weekend. The only time I ever see her is with groups of people, we never hang out just to hang out. I figure thats reason enough for me.

I guess I'm just trying to not kick myself for wussing out tonight.

PKRWUD · 07-18-2002, 02:40 AM

Wuss.

Actually, the better friends you become, the less likely it's going to be to work, unless she just has to have you.

Take care,
-Chris

lysacat · 07-18-2002, 09:10 AM

You could always call her up on the phone and ask her out, it's easier when you're not face to face. Keep in mind though that if she's not interested it could ruin the friendship or make things uncomfortable between you and her and the rest of the circle of friends. But then if she is interested, then you're good.

My husband and I worked together and I could hardly get the nerve to talk to him. A friend actually told him I was interested in him and well the rest is history. We've been married for 14 years. Good luck with everything.

C-ya, Melisa

Coupe Devil · 07-18-2002, 09:46 AM

Girls are weird man.....just be carefull. Like Chris said, the better friends you become the less likely it will work out, you'll be gettin the " I dont wanna ruin our friendship" excuse

Brad

cyberstang5.0 · 07-18-2002, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pony_power_90
Girls are weird man.....just be carefull. Like Chris said, the better friends you become the less likely it will work out, you'll be gettin the " I dont wanna ruin our friendship" excuse

Brad

Yeah, friendship status is BAD!!!!

Once you reach that point, it's all over...

07-17-2002, 01:22 AM	#1
The Deuce Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 2,325	Girls, Girls, Girls.......... So I figure I am pretty much opening up myself to a world of hurt on this one but here goes. Why is it so much easier to talk to girls you aren't that interested in? I was at a wedding on Sunday (great place to cruise for chicks) and was hitting it up with one of the girls there. I defiantly had the A-game working on that one. I had to leave early because I went with family, but I'm going to see her this week anyway, like I said, A-game. However, there is this girl I'm friends with that totally rocks my world. Well, not like that. I just can't figure out how to string enough words together to make a sentence when I'm around her. Totally confusing. Is it just me, or do other people out there face the same dilemma? Is there a cure for this, or I am I going to die a bitter lonely man with and get buried in my Cobra? __________________ 1997 Mustang GT "The Freak" - 13.80 @ 101.70, 2.07 60' 1995 Honda VFR750 - not much @ really fast (actual data pending.) 1964.5 Mustang 289 Rice Haters Club Member #13

07-17-2002, 01:27 AM	#2
joe4speed He said Member...heh, heh Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: Jupiter, Florida U.S.A. Posts: 3,718	It's weird... in my job (bartender) I get to talk to lots of gorgeous women all the time, I can talk about anything with them. But get me outside of work, and I'm the same way... it's weird! I am getting better though, not having such a hard time stringing words together!! LOL Good luck! __________________ *Joe!* 1988 GT, 13.58@101mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com

07-17-2002, 01:32 AM	#3
69fastback IRAQ VET Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: high desert California Posts: 1,480	Dude i know how you feel I used to be the same way. I could talk to any chick there was except for the ones that I liked. Then one day i just decied that it was stupid to be nervous. I will never know if i just don't go right out and ask. So know these days I just come righ on out and say how i feel. Cuz i got tired of loosing girls cuz i didn't have the guts to tell the girls i really liked how i feel. It alll comes down to just sacking up and spiting it out if you ask me. YOu will get over being nervous faster that way. The longer you wiat the worse it is. __________________ 428 Cobra Jet SOHC 5.4 3V F-150 96 mystic cobra 91 GT

07-17-2002, 01:35 AM	#4
PKRWUD Junior Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Ventura, California Posts: 8,981	Man, I thought it was going to be a Motley Crue question. I don't know the answer, but the dilema definately exists. I have found being honest is what works best for me. It doesn't always work, but I never have to think back over what I may have said. Practice helps, too. When I worked at a hospital, I was intermingling with alot of good looking nurses, every day. After a while, it became routine. It also became fake, but that seemed like the way it worked ten years ago. These days, I'm much happier tripping over my own tongue but being honest, than BSing my way through a conversation smoothly. That's just me, though. That didn't help much, did it? Sorry. Take care, -Chris __________________ Webmaster: Rice Haters Club Jim Porter Racing Peckerwoods Pit Stop Support Your Local RED & WHITE!

07-17-2002, 06:53 AM	#5
95mustanggt Registered Member Join Date: May 2000 Location: Kamloops, BC Posts: 2,875	Just get married. Then you can talk to who ever you want without any problems. Of course this is a catch 22, how do you get married if you can't talk to girls in the first place Sorry, don't have an answer, I guess I just lucked out __________________ 1995 Mustang GT 20016 F150 Lariat Super Crew

07-17-2002, 07:50 AM	#7
cyberstang5.0 347ci of HORSE POWER!!! Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 1,416	Well, I have a similar problem but it's not exactly the same. I can talk to any girl, that's not the problem.... it's breaking the ice that's extreamly hard for me. I just can't seam to say "hi". That's another reason why I don't go clubbing. Either she needs to start the conversation, or I need to be introduced to her. After that, it's all good That's how my GF and I met. I was introduced to her by a friend of mine, and the rest is history. Good luck man. Keep this in mind... if you try to talk to her, and she blows you off, it's HER loss!

07-17-2002, 07:58 AM	#8
mustangman65_79 My poor 79 RIP Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Suisun City, Posts: 2,320	I have no problem talking to girls, if I have something to talk about. My problem is breaking the ice with something worth while to talk about. I'm not one of those ppl who try to get a good pickup line, and use it. I like caual talk. But, as u can tell, it's not working for me because I never can tell women my true feelings, and I think tis is why I've been single for over 4 years. Yes, not one Gf since I was 16, maybe the car addiction drove them off? __________________ '84 mustang GT turbo '85 LTD '89 Camaro Irocz z28 '94 Lightning '96 Trans am

07-17-2002, 12:08 PM	#9
Mr 5 0 Conservative Individualist Join Date: May 1997 Location: Wherever I need to be Posts: 7,487	What's your name? Why is it so much easier to talk to girls you aren't that interested in? ... there is this girl I'm friends with that totally rocks my world. I just can't figure out how to string enough words together to make a sentence when I'm around her. Totally confusing. - The Deuce If you're attracted - physically and/or emotionally to a girl - then that very attraction will color your attitude and responses to her. You care what she thinks of you and how you appear to her. Does she think you're cool - or dork city? On the other hand, if a girl is just a casual friend and you don't feel attracted or especially interested in her sexually or emotionally then your guard is down and you'll have no real concerns about impressing her. Hormones and simple social conditioning all contribute to this weird situation of being comfortable around the opposite sex until you're attracted to a girl, then getting tongue-tied. Experience helps and I found that when I was single, simple attraction and desire helped me to overcome whatever was holding me back and I was able to talk to girls that I really wanted to get to know. Not always successfully of course but the basic desire to get closer to someone you find attractive and/or interesting usually overcomes initial shyness or the huge blank spot that appears where your mind used to be whenever a pretty girl comes along that interests you. Keep trying and start casually. Don't think about 'lines' and how cool you can be, just chat about something simple for a minute and don't try so hard. It gets easier, eventually.

07-17-2002, 12:33 PM	#10
The Deuce Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 2,325	Thanks for the advice Mr 5 0- I can make small talk with her, and we do have a lot in common. It is the weirdest thing, because I know I would be pretty good friends with her if she was a dude, because of all the common intersts. But that's the point. She's hot. Add to that the fact that she is really shy, and gets hit on by random guys pretty much anywhere she goes, it sort of puts me between a rock and well......... So I am going to see her tonight, in a big group with other mutual friends. I'm planning on asking her out for coffee or something fairly light like that. I am friends with her roomate too, which helps some. I need to ask her if she's seeing somebody. My only concern is that she was learning to surf from another friend (USMC Sniper ), who shipped out last week. I really don't want to get on that guys bad side, if you know what I mean. I'll let y'all know what happens. __________________ 1997 Mustang GT "The Freak" - 13.80 @ 101.70, 2.07 60' 1995 Honda VFR750 - not much @ really fast (actual data pending.) 1964.5 Mustang 289 Rice Haters Club Member #13

07-17-2002, 01:25 PM	#11
Mustangbelle306 Yay for Chickys Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,532	I have no problem talking to anyone. When I'm having a conversation with you and I'm likin' it, I don't give a hoot WHAT you look like I just like to find people with common interests and blab away. Even when I was single, I just chatted aimlessly. If you liked me, GREAT! If not, no skin off my back I am who I am!

07-17-2002, 05:58 PM	#13
Fox Body Mustang Maniac Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: GA, U.S.A Posts: 2,266	Okay. Sorry for screwin around on that last post. . Hey, man, I understand your pain. I'm getting much better at dealing with this problem. I guess, the thought of what I could lose (and how much I love women) outweighs the fear of rejection or approaching and conversation. Seems like the older I get, the less time I have for crap like being nervous around women (or so I tell myself, hey and it's helping). Okay, I'll disclose no more. Bye bye now. __________________ 351W-powered 1979 Ford Mustang Ghia notchback '79 Video @ Idle Stock 5.8L under 4" cowl 'glass hood, C4 w/ Transgo shift kit, Holley 750 cfm, Edelbrock Performer RPM intake; Fluidyne Al radiator, Flexalite 175 electric fan, 1 5/8" MAC shorty headers, FRPP Al driveshaft; S&W 6-point cage; 2.5" Off road H-pipe, 2-chamber Flowmasters, 8.8" Rear w/ 3.55s; Weld wheels (15x6;15x8), Front: 225/60/15, Rear: 275/50/15 Nitto NT 555R Drag Radials; 14 x 4” K&N X-stream air filter. '92 GT (5-speed) Small In Car Video Stock 5.0L, 2-chamber Flowmasters, MAC CAI, Tri-Ax, Al pedals... "Red, thou art my companion. Hasten now your quickened metamorphosis to Green that I may conquer all who dare abide there beside me. May they be left thither behind burnt black." ---Fox Body

07-17-2002, 07:33 PM	#15
Fox Body Mustang Maniac Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: GA, U.S.A Posts: 2,266	__________________ 351W-powered 1979 Ford Mustang Ghia notchback '79 Video @ Idle Stock 5.8L under 4" cowl 'glass hood, C4 w/ Transgo shift kit, Holley 750 cfm, Edelbrock Performer RPM intake; Fluidyne Al radiator, Flexalite 175 electric fan, 1 5/8" MAC shorty headers, FRPP Al driveshaft; S&W 6-point cage; 2.5" Off road H-pipe, 2-chamber Flowmasters, 8.8" Rear w/ 3.55s; Weld wheels (15x6;15x8), Front: 225/60/15, Rear: 275/50/15 Nitto NT 555R Drag Radials; 14 x 4” K&N X-stream air filter. '92 GT (5-speed) Small In Car Video Stock 5.0L, 2-chamber Flowmasters, MAC CAI, Tri-Ax, Al pedals... "Red, thou art my companion. Hasten now your quickened metamorphosis to Green that I may conquer all who dare abide there beside me. May they be left thither behind burnt black." ---Fox Body

07-18-2002, 01:56 AM	#16
The Deuce Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 2,325	So I am a big wuss. I talked to her for quite a while tonight, but never got around to asking her out. All things considered I am moving in the right direction, and I do have a good excuse to ask her out this weekend. The only time I ever see her is with groups of people, we never hang out just to hang out. I figure thats reason enough for me. I guess I'm just trying to not kick myself for wussing out tonight. __________________ 1997 Mustang GT "The Freak" - 13.80 @ 101.70, 2.07 60' 1995 Honda VFR750 - not much @ really fast (actual data pending.) 1964.5 Mustang 289 Rice Haters Club Member #13

07-18-2002, 02:40 AM	#17
PKRWUD Junior Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Ventura, California Posts: 8,981	Wuss. Actually, the better friends you become, the less likely it's going to be to work, unless she just has to have you. Take care, -Chris __________________ Webmaster: Rice Haters Club Jim Porter Racing Peckerwoods Pit Stop Support Your Local RED & WHITE!

07-18-2002, 09:10 AM	#18
lysacat Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Sherwood, Arkansas Posts: 238	You could always call her up on the phone and ask her out, it's easier when you're not face to face. Keep in mind though that if she's not interested it could ruin the friendship or make things uncomfortable between you and her and the rest of the circle of friends. But then if she is interested, then you're good. My husband and I worked together and I could hardly get the nerve to talk to him. A friend actually told him I was interested in him and well the rest is history. We've been married for 14 years. Good luck with everything. C-ya, Melisa __________________ 2002 Mustang V6 Convertible Laser Red Tint with Borla exhaust, K & N filter, ground effects, light bar, 17" bright chrome wheels, low profile tires, window tint, billett grille, aluminum fuel door

07-18-2002, 09:46 AM	#19
Coupe Devil Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Myrtle Beach SC Posts: 1,643	Girls are weird man.....just be carefull. Like Chris said, the better friends you become the less likely it will work out, you'll be gettin the " I dont wanna ruin our friendship" excuse Brad __________________ 1990 GT, 347, TFS TW Heads, TFS Cam, TFS Track heat, Twin turbos, FMIC, T5. Built Ford Tough Moderator

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