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10-10-2002, 06:20 PM | #1 |
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The Great State of Indiana
Posts: 353
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Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035
Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035
*Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. *White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. *Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock. *Baby conceived naturally . . . Scientists stumped. *Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. *Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory Of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.) *Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. ! *Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. *George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. *35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. *Texas executes last remaining citizen. *Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. *Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inch. *Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. *New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers and baseball bats must be registered by January 2036. |
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