Define . . . .

1969Mach1 · 07-19-2002, 11:10 PM

Ok Define cheating on your partner. Belle you inspired me to start this thread. Made me really curious on what people look at it being and where would you draw the line with your relationship if your partner is 'cheating'
Would you consider it flirting and at what extent? joking around, making sexual remarks (like saying there hot and such), touching (ie. tickeling, poking), kiss on the cheak?, kiss on the lips? hug? or just plain out sex considered cheating? Ok I'm looking more on the b/f-g/f level here too. Not married but if you want to post about that, it's cool.

Ok the survey is mark which ones you define as cheating and feel free to post more about it, or different ideas of cheating.

Mr 5 0 · 07-19-2002, 11:24 PM

I define cheating this way:

If you would be hurt or angry if your partner did it to another (touching, kissing, hugging, whatever) then it's obviously wrong for you to do the same to another.

As a married guy, I pretty much keep the same values as I did when single but of course I've got the one I want so I have a lot less interest in other women then I used to so this isn't much of a issue for me.

Crazy Horse GT · 07-19-2002, 11:27 PM

sam after reading your first post, then this, something isnt right, man screw all that, first, your too young to be really serious, i know that hurt's, but i know from my divorce at 21, i thought the world ended, but after awhile, i found out life does go on, now that im an old geezer, heheh, i went out in the world & had a blast , tilll i reached my mid -to later 20's, then i was ready to settle down & get married, no regret's. i hope i helped you, if not , then just disregard, take care bro, there is more than one girl out there, you might find something better, cya. marty.

1969Mach1 · 07-20-2002, 12:21 AM

Thanks Crazy Horse, I got your PM and I will respond in the morning. I know what your saying man, it's so hard letting go. Especially after 13 months and I don't know for sure if she still likes him and we get really good other then that. I honestly think your right but I can't do, I tried once and it hurt alot telling someone you've cared about more then yourself, loved, and spent so much of your time and feelings with and just throw it away. And it's hard to grasp the concept that you have to start all over and find someone else and pretty much build from the bottem again. Thank you for the much appreciated advice, also by Mr 50, I really agree with what you said aswell. Hmm... guess a good nights rest may help me.

§am.

Crazy Horse GT · 07-20-2002, 12:43 AM

sam, good luck bud, but after a year or two passes, it will just be old news, it wont even bother you, do i think about my divorce at 21 , well every 5 years or so it hit's me for a second, no longer, i went to spain after that, = joined the navy, met a great woman, was going to marry her, didnt, the reason- she was so good looking, & she picked me up-? i did'nt marry her , do i regret it? no. i found odie, again!, that is who divorced me, i dont blame her, i was young & wild, i wasnt ready to be a husband, like they say, let them go- if they come back, then it was meant to be, good luck little bro. marty.

mustangII460 · 07-20-2002, 04:54 AM

(Any) physical contact, poking etc. is cheating.

Any word,words that can be takin wrong, saying a T.V. star is "hot" doesn't count.

Anything YOU feel is cheating, is cheating and MUST be respected by the other.

Leave EX's as EX's.

12 years married and wouldn't have it any other way.

Mr 5 0 pretty much hit it.

07-24-2002, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr 5 0
I define cheating this way:

If you would be hurt or angry if your partner did it to another (touching, kissing, hugging, whatever) then it's obviously wrong for you to do the same to another.

As a married guy, I pretty much keep the same values as I did when single but of course I've got the one I want so I have a lot less interest in other women then I used to so this isn't much of a issue for me.

As a women, the values should be the same. I agree with mr 5 0. If you don't like it happening to you, then don't do it yourself, so as to not cause any problems.
A friendly hug or kiss on the cheek or a hug is fine. But keep it that way unless you want to end up alone...Odie

1969Mach1 · 07-24-2002, 10:09 AM

Sounds good, I do agree very much. Like when I say poking it's like tickeling and stuff like you know how homo's flirt. Sorry I just hate guys who flirt with girls like that and they know they have b/f's and **** and they just annoy most girls. I dunno . . . I do agree if you think it's cheating then it is. Especially if you do it and you know your partner doesn't like it although you still resume to act that way.

Belle put it the best way,

Quote:

NO ONE who claims to "love you" should even put you in a position that you would have to "fight" for them.

You shouldn't have to fight someone else, your partner or yourself. If it makes you question the way you feel then it's not worth it.

Speaking of Belle, where is she? lol I want to know her views on this subject cause she inspired me (Your my hero belle!) to start this when said flirting could also be a form of cheating.

Thanks All,
I've Loved, I've Lost, I will start again,
§am.

Mustangbelle306 · 07-24-2002, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr 5 0
I define cheating this way:

If you would be hurt or angry if your partner did it to another (touching, kissing, hugging, whatever) then it's obviously wrong for you to do the same to another.

Absolutely!!! Although many people probably wouldn't agree with me, I also consider some non-physical aspects cheating as well.

If you find yourself constantly fantasizing about being with other people instead of your partner, I feel that's not really nice, and something is probably wrong with the relationship...some people have "open" relationships in which that (and lots of other STUFF) is A ok. Others just think its cool to look at everything with legs and a heartbeat. Personally, I feel that if I'm committed to someone, and I'm not attracted/stimulated enough that I start looking at others, that's not a relationship worth contining

.

I've always told my friends that marriage doesn't have to be the stereotypical death sentence. It can be the beginning of a WONDERFUL life as long as you've chosen the perfect partner

!

Mustangbelle306 · 07-24-2002, 11:22 AM

Wanted to add something... Marty you mentioned that Sam is too young to be serious. I'm not sure how old you are Sam, but this could be true, or not..

Everyone matures at their own pace...to put it concisely, I was through the wringer and out in EVERY facet of my life by the age of 18. I'm no guru of life, but I am more experienced in both the good and bad aspects of human existence than most people 5-7 years my senior. To be honest, I wish to GOD I weren't, but **** happens, right?

My point is, I'm 21, and engaged, and I'm ready. My female neighbor is in her mid twenties, and I have a feeling she is about a decade or so away from being ready to settle down

Some people wanna party down all the way through grad school, and others are ready for a more "quiet" life by their junior year in college. The only thing you need to make sure of is that YOU know youre ready, and that you've picked the right person. I can tell you have learned from this experience just by the fact that yeah, you took her back once, but now you've realized she IS NOT good gf material. That speaks LOADS about your ability to make mistakes and learn from them

Marty is wise in advising you not to rush it. You'll know when you're ready for an ultra-serious relationship, and you will also know when its time to "pop" that question, and if your girl is ready as well

1969Mach1 · 07-24-2002, 01:48 PM

I was happy to come back from lunch and see you relpy Belle. =) hehehe... I do agree with both posts, as for the first one yeh, it doesn't have to be something physical to be cheating. I look at it this way, if you see a pretty girl or a cute guy and your like ohh... he's cute or she's hot to your friends that is cool. That is what guys always do, not sure about girls but I know they talk about guys. Anyway not a big deal as long as you don't make it a big decision. Like your not fantasing about this person. If you go telling the person there hot and yummy and such then it leaves the game open to a whole new game of hurt feelings. I don't know why people who cheat on another person, honesty is a big part of a relationship and if you can't be honest by telling the person that you are attracted to another person, or be faithful to being with just that person then your not ready to be dating anyone.

§am.

Mustangbelle306 · 07-24-2002, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1969Mach1
I was happy to come back from lunch and see you relpy Belle. =) hehehe...

I don't know why people who cheat on another person, honesty is a big part of a relationship and if you can't be honest by telling the person that you are attracted to another person, or be faithful to being with just that person then your not ready to be dating anyone.

§am.

I aim to please

I dunno why they do it either. Either you love the bastard

or you don't!!! Stay, or leave. Doesn't seem like rocket science to me. Your last statement reassures me that I made the right call...you are INDEED a smart cooky

Coupe Devil · 07-24-2002, 03:19 PM

All of those are cheating, but im single so I can do it all and not get in trouble right.....

Brad

lysacat · 07-24-2002, 07:22 PM

Where is the "all of the above" choice. I've been married for almost 15 years now. I would be very upset if my husband did any of those things, period. And yes I felt the same way when I was out there dating.
I have to agree with Crazy Horse. I got married when I was 17 and I was divorced by 19. Don't get in a hurry, You'll find the right person when you least expect it. I sure did. Good Luck.
C-ya, Melisa

1969Mach1 · 07-25-2002, 06:31 AM

Sounds good, thanks belle.

lysacat you can select all the answers if you want or how ever you want. Your not bound to only select on the answers for this poll.

There are some exceptions for each of these answers. Well the first frew. Like joking around and hugs and stuff. I believe if it's intended for a sexual reason then it's cheating. I will forever be faithful to my partner, regardless the situation.

§am.

lysacat · 07-25-2002, 10:37 AM

Yeah Sam, I figured it out. And yes there are exceptions to the first few. I agree. You just have to build that trust between the two of you. Personally I trust my husband totally, but if he ever broke that trust I would have a lot of trouble ever trusting him again. It's good to hear there are still guys out there that will be faithful. There are just sooooo many out there that aren't. Good luck.

C-ya, Melisa

kiku2sleep · 07-25-2002, 12:45 PM

I encourage my wife to flirt, that way I don't have to buy her drinks all night. If I walk up at the right time they will sometimes buy me one to. "Oh this is your husband??? Do you want a shot to?" You are damn right I do.

1969Mach1 · 07-25-2002, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kiku2sleep
I encourage my wife to flirt, that way I don't have to buy her drinks all night. If I walk up at the right time they will sometimes buy me one to. "Oh this is your husband??? Do you want a shot to?" You are damn right I do.

hahahaha.... lol

Yeh there are many faithful guys out there and many unfaithful guys. But the samething goes with girls. I know more situations where the woman cheated in the relationship. I guess this is what happens when we grow up in a world where competition is set to be everything.

Glad I got the 351 and most peolpe my age are dirving 4cly.

So everyone watches out for me.

§am.

929PhoenixSquid · 07-26-2002, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1969Mach1
[BI look at it this way, if you see a pretty girl or a cute guy and your like ohh... he's cute or she's hot to your friends that is cool. That is what guys always do, not sure about girls but I know they talk about guys. Anyway not a big deal as long as you don't make it a big decision. Like your not fantasing about this person. If you go telling the person there hot and yummy and such then it leaves the game open to a whole new game of hurt feelings
§am. [/B]

Not all guys do this. I never have, and never will. I could give a rats *** about what some chick on the street is wearing or what she looks like. I find one person on this earth attractive.....my gorgeous fiance. She's all I need and I never have to worry about my eyes wandering.

Let's face it, I am WAAAAAAY to busy checking out all the Mustangs, Corvettes, and Sportbikes out in the world that I would visually overwhelm my poor little eyes to waste time on chicks.....

1969Mach1 · 07-26-2002, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 929PhoenixSquid

Not all guys do this. I never have, and never will. I could give a rats *** about what some chick on the street is wearing or what she looks like. I find one person on this earth attractive.....my gorgeous fiance. She's all I need and I never have to worry about my eyes wandering.

Let's face it, I am WAAAAAAY to busy checking out all the Mustangs, Corvettes, and Sportbikes out in the world that I would visually overwhelm my poor little eyes to waste time on chicks.....

hahaha very true. I am always looking at cars. Have you seen that Neon commercial when a guy is walking with his g/f or wife and he looks over and staring at the Neon and his g/f thinks he is stairing at the chick infront of it. Stupid commercial cause it's a Neon but that's me looking at some nice car. =) Nothing can replace the love of your car.

And I know the ladies agree with me here. lol

Take it Easy,
§am.

07-19-2002, 11:10 PM	#1
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	Define . . . . Ok Define cheating on your partner. Belle you inspired me to start this thread. Made me really curious on what people look at it being and where would you draw the line with your relationship if your partner is 'cheating' Would you consider it flirting and at what extent? joking around, making sexual remarks (like saying there hot and such), touching (ie. tickeling, poking), kiss on the cheak?, kiss on the lips? hug? or just plain out sex considered cheating? Ok I'm looking more on the b/f-g/f level here too. Not married but if you want to post about that, it's cool. Ok the survey is mark which ones you define as cheating and feel free to post more about it, or different ideas of cheating. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

07-19-2002, 11:24 PM	#2
Mr 5 0 Conservative Individualist Join Date: May 1997 Location: Wherever I need to be Posts: 7,487	Cheating definitions I define cheating this way: If you would be hurt or angry if your partner did it to another (touching, kissing, hugging, whatever) then it's obviously wrong for you to do the same to another. As a married guy, I pretty much keep the same values as I did when single but of course I've got the one I want so I have a lot less interest in other women then I used to so this isn't much of a issue for me.

07-19-2002, 11:27 PM	#3
Crazy Horse GT Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Sale Creek, TN. C. S. A. Posts: 4,652	sam after reading your first post, then this, something isnt right, man screw all that, first, your too young to be really serious, i know that hurt's, but i know from my divorce at 21, i thought the world ended, but after awhile, i found out life does go on, now that im an old geezer, heheh, i went out in the world & had a blast , tilll i reached my mid -to later 20's, then i was ready to settle down & get married, no regret's. i hope i helped you, if not , then just disregard, take care bro, there is more than one girl out there, you might find something better, cya. marty. __________________ 95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow. 04 sonic blue v - six my beater 89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride 84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc 65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020. black 00gt, gone but never forgotten. R H C- member # 1 o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask. goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03

07-20-2002, 12:21 AM	#4
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	Thanks Crazy Horse, I got your PM and I will respond in the morning. I know what your saying man, it's so hard letting go. Especially after 13 months and I don't know for sure if she still likes him and we get really good other then that. I honestly think your right but I can't do, I tried once and it hurt alot telling someone you've cared about more then yourself, loved, and spent so much of your time and feelings with and just throw it away. And it's hard to grasp the concept that you have to start all over and find someone else and pretty much build from the bottem again. Thank you for the much appreciated advice, also by Mr 50, I really agree with what you said aswell. Hmm... guess a good nights rest may help me. §am. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

07-20-2002, 12:43 AM	#5
Crazy Horse GT Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Sale Creek, TN. C. S. A. Posts: 4,652	sam, good luck bud, but after a year or two passes, it will just be old news, it wont even bother you, do i think about my divorce at 21 , well every 5 years or so it hit's me for a second, no longer, i went to spain after that, = joined the navy, met a great woman, was going to marry her, didnt, the reason- she was so good looking, & she picked me up-? i did'nt marry her , do i regret it? no. i found odie, again!, that is who divorced me, i dont blame her, i was young & wild, i wasnt ready to be a husband, like they say, let them go- if they come back, then it was meant to be, good luck little bro. marty. __________________ 95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow. 04 sonic blue v - six my beater 89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride 84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc 65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020. black 00gt, gone but never forgotten. R H C- member # 1 o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask. goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03

07-20-2002, 04:54 AM	#6
mustangII460 Factoy Five Roadster Join Date: May 2000 Location: Sevier Co,Tennessee Posts: 1,681	(Any) physical contact, poking etc. is cheating. Any word,words that can be takin wrong, saying a T.V. star is "hot" doesn't count. Anything YOU feel is cheating, is cheating and MUST be respected by the other. Leave EX's as EX's. 12 years married and wouldn't have it any other way. Mr 5 0 pretty much hit it.

07-24-2002, 11:22 AM	#10
Mustangbelle306 Yay for Chickys Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,532	Wanted to add something... Marty you mentioned that Sam is too young to be serious. I'm not sure how old you are Sam, but this could be true, or not.. Everyone matures at their own pace...to put it concisely, I was through the wringer and out in EVERY facet of my life by the age of 18. I'm no guru of life, but I am more experienced in both the good and bad aspects of human existence than most people 5-7 years my senior. To be honest, I wish to GOD I weren't, but **** happens, right? My point is, I'm 21, and engaged, and I'm ready. My female neighbor is in her mid twenties, and I have a feeling she is about a decade or so away from being ready to settle down Some people wanna party down all the way through grad school, and others are ready for a more "quiet" life by their junior year in college. The only thing you need to make sure of is that YOU know youre ready, and that you've picked the right person. I can tell you have learned from this experience just by the fact that yeah, you took her back once, but now you've realized she IS NOT good gf material. That speaks LOADS about your ability to make mistakes and learn from them Marty is wise in advising you not to rush it. You'll know when you're ready for an ultra-serious relationship, and you will also know when its time to "pop" that question, and if your girl is ready as well

07-24-2002, 01:48 PM	#11
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	I was happy to come back from lunch and see you relpy Belle. =) hehehe... I do agree with both posts, as for the first one yeh, it doesn't have to be something physical to be cheating. I look at it this way, if you see a pretty girl or a cute guy and your like ohh... he's cute or she's hot to your friends that is cool. That is what guys always do, not sure about girls but I know they talk about guys. Anyway not a big deal as long as you don't make it a big decision. Like your not fantasing about this person. If you go telling the person there hot and yummy and such then it leaves the game open to a whole new game of hurt feelings. I don't know why people who cheat on another person, honesty is a big part of a relationship and if you can't be honest by telling the person that you are attracted to another person, or be faithful to being with just that person then your not ready to be dating anyone. §am. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

07-24-2002, 03:19 PM	#13
Coupe Devil Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Myrtle Beach SC Posts: 1,643	All of those are cheating, but im single so I can do it all and not get in trouble right..... Brad __________________ 1990 GT, 347, TFS TW Heads, TFS Cam, TFS Track heat, Twin turbos, FMIC, T5. Built Ford Tough Moderator

07-24-2002, 07:22 PM	#14
lysacat Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Sherwood, Arkansas Posts: 238	Where is the "all of the above" choice. I've been married for almost 15 years now. I would be very upset if my husband did any of those things, period. And yes I felt the same way when I was out there dating. I have to agree with Crazy Horse. I got married when I was 17 and I was divorced by 19. Don't get in a hurry, You'll find the right person when you least expect it. I sure did. Good Luck. C-ya, Melisa __________________ 2002 Mustang V6 Convertible Laser Red Tint with Borla exhaust, K & N filter, ground effects, light bar, 17" bright chrome wheels, low profile tires, window tint, billett grille, aluminum fuel door

07-25-2002, 06:31 AM	#15
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	Sounds good, thanks belle. lysacat you can select all the answers if you want or how ever you want. Your not bound to only select on the answers for this poll. There are some exceptions for each of these answers. Well the first frew. Like joking around and hugs and stuff. I believe if it's intended for a sexual reason then it's cheating. I will forever be faithful to my partner, regardless the situation. §am. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

07-25-2002, 10:37 AM	#16
lysacat Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Sherwood, Arkansas Posts: 238	Yeah Sam, I figured it out. And yes there are exceptions to the first few. I agree. You just have to build that trust between the two of you. Personally I trust my husband totally, but if he ever broke that trust I would have a lot of trouble ever trusting him again. It's good to hear there are still guys out there that will be faithful. There are just sooooo many out there that aren't. Good luck. C-ya, Melisa __________________ 2002 Mustang V6 Convertible Laser Red Tint with Borla exhaust, K & N filter, ground effects, light bar, 17" bright chrome wheels, low profile tires, window tint, billett grille, aluminum fuel door

07-25-2002, 12:45 PM	#17
kiku2sleep Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Gaza Strip, Southwestern Asia Posts: 77	I encourage my wife to flirt, that way I don't have to buy her drinks all night. If I walk up at the right time they will sometimes buy me one to. "Oh this is your husband??? Do you want a shot to?" You are damn right I do. __________________ 92 LX 5.0-Green W/white top, guts, and rims. 01 gixxer 600 (team colors)

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