Tired of Life and Things going WRONG!!

[Mercury]

When it rains, it pours. Through my 24 years of existance, one thing I can attest to is the validity behind that.

I'm so tired of dealing with personal problems, family problems, relationship problems, work problems. This week there have been so damn many of them.

Its just so overwhelming. Every one says "Just Hang in there." I know theres not much more any one can really say, but it almost seems impossible.

My step dad is in the Hospital, long story, hell be there for a few days, against his will. Theres alot more behind that than I want to say.

I'm training for a new postion at work and things are not going right at all. I cant be trained properly if They keep needing me to fill in for my old Job. I have no desk at work, our account rep took it to give to one of our Shippers. I'm so worried about being cut loose to run the loading docks and I wont have the foggiest idea of what to do.

My relationship is regretably falling apart. I dont know what to do anymore to save it. I feel like I'm always trying to pull myself out of a mile deep hole. I want so badly to salvage our relationship, but things always go wrong, something happens in the family that needs my attention, or our schedules just dont mesh. Its like I finally found what Love is, but its slipping through my fingers and I cant get a good enough grasp on it to pull it together.

Every one around the house is in such a upset mood, no one is getting along. Were all worrying about my stepdad, well most of my family.

I have a younger sister thats just so freakin shallow and hard headed. She wont do crap around the house or anything to help anyone out and my mom and her are always fighting, big time.

I'm really worried about my stepdad, I want to make sure hes okay, but he insists that no one visits him.

Things around here are just so f***ed up, with no light at the end of the tunnel. This post was to mainly get things of my chest. I feel a little better in a way.

Just wish I had friends around here who really cared, none of the people I know seem to care, and if it doesnt have to do with cars, they dont want to talk about it. I mean you guys are great, just wish there was someone to talk to directly. Some ones shoulder to cry on, or to at least listen.

[This message has been edited by Mercury (edited 06-30-2001).]

[Cajun]

Merc: Want to feel a lot better? Go to the local hospital and ask to visit the pediatric cancer ward. Spend a little of your time trying to cheer these terminally ill kids up a bit. I am not trying to be a smart-*** . I have done this, it works. You will then see how lucky you are. I know that depression is a real problem, it can be whipped. Immerse yourself in trying to help someone else, the Lord will repay you many times over. And no, I am not a religious nut. It is just that if you believe in God and everything that He stands for, you will realize that He does not build Junk. You have been put here for a purpose, you just have not found the reason, yet. Keep searching. It will come. And praying a bit can't hurt either.
Later
Dnaay

[Mercury]

Cajun.

Thanks for the advice. Its hard for me to go into a Cancer Ward of a Hospital, I lost two really good, close friends to Luekimia (misspelled).

One of them was a High school Art teacher I had. We found out we both have intrests in antique and classic cars. We became friends kinda, he brought pictures of the cars he's restored and had the honor of driving before. He got to drive several rare cars, a Tucker, 1932 V-16 Cadillac Phateon, even has pictures of him driving a Duesnburg. He sold Antiques and made alot of friends.

Anyway he became a freind of the family, and was invited to my graduation party, christmass family parties, him and my grandpa would sit for hours talking when my Grandpa came down to NC to visit. He called us one day and told us he wouldnt be able to stop by or talk much for a while, he had somethings he had to have taken care of

A month later we heard from him and he told us he had cancer. He had to get kemotherapy, he fought so hard. He didnt want us to see him suffer, he wrote to us. The last time we heard from him was in a letter he wrote saying that he was giving up, he couldnt handle it anymore. He thanked us for bieng his good friends, even called us his family.

He died 3 months later. I read the obituals in the paper for some reason ( I never did, never will again ) and there was his name, and his picture.

I was the only one of his students to go to his funeral, other than that, there were just teachers there, and one of his friends. He had lost close to 70 lbs before he passed. He was like a grandfather to me.

I made a freind with a guy who was in my JROTC class, he had started half way through the year. Found out he had Luekimah also, and it had went in remission.

He died before graduating.

I just wish that such good hearted people didnt have to die in such a painfull and terrible way.

Okay, I got off the subject there. Sorry about that. My post is kinda a little to long so I guess I'll end it now, I'm having trouble typing anyway.

[Mercury]

I do trying helping other people out. Seems like I can help other people alot better than I can ever help myself.

I guess because I've been through alot of pain and had alot happen to me, maybe thats why people come to me for advice. I've made it this far, I must be doing something right.

[stanger8172]

Mercury,

I was there minus the girl probs. At that time I thought I was lost and/or was in a boat with no oars. Not to many people around me were really happy either.

Then I just picked myself up by my bootstraps. I quit smoking, started working out, and indirectly helped people by pedaling a bike for cancer foundations.

I don't work out much at a gym much but still go on bike rides, swim, go to races, fests etc.

When there is no wind in my sails I just sleep and then maybe take to some other challenges out there.

If I had a job like yours I would seriously consider finding a new one right away. Unless of course you see some light at the end of the tunnel, like maybe after talking with a manager about your job problems. If you've been with that co. for awhile they should wanna work with you.

And if your stepdad doesn't want to have any visitors then just send him a some ink or hire some girls to strip for him. lol

[stanger8172]

...and about your girl problem, just my $.02, just talk to her and give her flowers. Is this a distance relationship with her?

[Fox Body]

To a point Mercury, I can honestly say that I understand some of the things you are going through. Other things you are going through, I have not dealt with directly so I will refrain from telling you what I THINK you should do about them.

I will tell you how I have dealt with such issues.

I can tell you that I have a GOOD idea of how you are feeling right now (and that is not a shallow statement) and when things seem unbearable and when it seems that NO ONE understands where I'm coming from, I feel this enormous sense of hopelessness. But there is some time or another that I personally have to say "that's enough" and it angers me that this despair is trying to overwhelm me. I begin to hate it and I get this drive that "NO, I am not going to let you win! I've come too far to give up now" and if that is the only thing that drives me, then it drives me.

Related to what Cajun said, but at the same time not trying to diminish the reality of your personal situation, what helps me is that when things go bad for me, I also have to stop and think about how bad it could be and stop focusing on all the bad stuff and start focusing on the good stuff. I think about some people who are in places like Lebanon or Nicaraqua (and many other countries) who have no food to eat. Or are going through constant war and every hour is a struggle for life (now once again, I am not trying to make your situation seem like nothing or less significant, only want you to reevaluate your position). Yeah, the bad stuff IS real, but if you give it all your attention, it will NO DOUBT drag you down.

Honestly though, I feel worse when someone else is going through hard times than when I am going through those times b/c in many ways I feel so helpless to the situation. You know, b/c if it is me who is going through dark times, I know myself and what I would do, and how to talk to myself (no other human being knows me better than I know myself). But when it is someone else, what can you say to "make it right" and how will that person react to their darkest hour? That's what I worry about. Too many good people give up to early and it really saddens me. Whatever you do man, don't give up.

All this stuff I am not just spitting out. I am trying to give you advice that works for me and has helped me when I am in utter despair. I truly believe that at least one reason God allows us to go through so much crap is so we can help others when they have a similar experience (and when we survive it, it makes us stronger and more mature).

Mercury, one other thing: I want to refrain from telling you to be strong and be a "man" and that everything will soon be lollipops, butterflies, and rainbows.
Mercury, i guess now is your time to suffer and not necessarily the last, so do it well. Okay, so embrace you suffering, but there still must be a limit. There must still be a time when you have to say "enough". Not giving up, but putting your foot down after you have had your due season of despair. And other people can assist you along the way.

Thanks for taking the time to get it off your chest and having the humility to seek the advice of others.

Whether you pray or not, I will keep you in my prayers. Take care bro,

Jamal

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'79 Mustang Coup w/ 4" Cowl
Stock 5.8L, C4 w/ shift kit
Holley 750 cfm, Edelbrock Performer RPM intake
1 5/8" MAC shorty headers, Al driveshaft
2.5" Off road H-pipe, 2-chamber Flowmasters
Front: 225/60/15, Rear: 255/60/15 Eagle GT II
Weld wheels (15x6;15x8), 8.8" Rear w/ 3.55s
14 x 4” K&N air filter (getting the Xtreme setup someday)

"Red, thou art my companion. Hasten now your quickened metamorphosis to
Green that I may conquer all who dare abide there beside me. May they be left
thither behind burnt black." ---Fox Body

[69fastback]

Dude that sucks. Sorry to hear things are bad. I can't really say anything that hasn't already ben said. What I have always done when things are bad just said screw it and i am not going to take it anymore. Life is always how u look at. Take a look at it in a different way and things will get better. I will make sure I say a prayer for u too.

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69 428 cobra jet: tons of mods.
97 f-150 5.4 xlt mark III
BUCKLE UP. SUCK IT IN.
Objects in the mirror are about to disappear...
QUICKLY!!!!!!

[Mercury]

I was driving around tonight, helping me feel a little better. THEN MY DAMN CHECK ENGINE LIGHT COMES ON. GOD, WHAT NEXT????????????? WTF!

[Skyman]

I feel bad for you man. I know how **** can really happen. But theres only one thing I can tell you, and its the key.

Depression is caused by yourself. Things are always going to go wrong. If you sit around and dwell on those bad things, and keep worring about it, and bringing yourself down your going to stay down. And sometimes you almost just want to sit there and wallow in your own misery. Im someway is it ful-fulling.

What you have to do. Is drag yourself up and out of that. Whatever way you can. Focus on the positive. Your step dads gonna be out soon. If you don't want that **** to happen to you at work. Voice your opinion. Even if it doesn't help, just focus on wha tyou can do to try and train for this new position. BE POSITIVE! It sounds way too easy, but only you can whip yourself out of this.

Ive been in the same position before, and I'm speaking exactly from experience.

Only you can do it!

Skyler

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-1989 Saleen Mustang #406-
TFS TW Heads, E-303, Edelbrock intake, 70mm TB, 73mm MAF, 24lb injectors, 1 5/8 shorties, Off Road H, 3 Chamber flows, Jaz Race seats, Back seat removed, sub-frames, Roll Cage, and a 80 shot of N20.
12.55@107 Motor

[smokedchevy]

Yo Merc, keep moving forward. While I cannot relate to all of your problems, I will tell you of some of my more depressed times. I was in a relationship with a girl for two years, I felt we were going to get married. Then out of the blue, she wanted to break up. I was so distraught. Less than a month a later she was dating a 55 yer old man! WTF! Every thing seemed so perfect then all of a sudden, nothing. I was so down. I cried for the longest time. I thought we were so happy together but I was wrong. I joined a gym and started weight lifting to occupy my time after school(college). I just did things to keep me occupied. Last year, my mom died of cancer. I sat and watched her whither away until she died. Those were some of the hardest days of my life. You just have to keep moving forward. Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger. You have to remember that is part of life. Shi# happens! Since I started weight lifting I've become a competitive natural bodybuilder. And I always place when I compete. So just keep moving forward, you never know where life takes you.

[oldman]

I have a sign hanging on my wall in the office. . . "Events later this year will prove your life isn't as bad as it could be"

No truer words were ever written.

[2FastLX]

I have been through this. It is called depression. My father went through a battle with cancer that had me screwed up for 3 long years. It wasn't until he died that I realized why I was having so many problems in relationships, work, etc. I was depressed because he was dying, and it nearly destroyed my life. Depression is a bad thing to ignore, believe me. Go get some help man. Whether it be from a psychiatrist, a priest, preacher, what have you. Just get some help. You don't have to fight these battles with despair on your own even if your friends and family don't want to help.

I totally agree with what Fox Body says...
"I truly believe that at least one reason God allows us to go through so much crap is so we can help others when they have a similar experience (and when we survive it, it makes us stronger and more mature)."
So true.

How does your girlfriend feel about all of this? What is going on with your relationship that you feel it is slipping away? If all you do is concentrate on a relationship slipping away then it surely will. Concentrate on expressing your love to her and showing her a good time in whatever you do together and see if that doesn't help. Do things you have never done before.

I hope some of this helps man. I really feel for you as I went through a very similar period in my life and was about the same age as you when it was at its worst. Just hang in there and it WILL get better, even if it does get worse before better days come.

Oh, and the check engine light... don't sweat it if the car is running OK. Just get a scanner and see what it is.

I wish you the best of luck Merc.



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Gunning for 12's!

My Stang Page
Buy your parts here
ICQ# 42269241

Mercury, i'm behind you 100% man.
This weekend i got dumped by my girlfriend, wasn't able to hang out with my best friend who came back this weekend for the first time in 6 months (i'm going to be the best man in his wedding), and all my friends are bickering amongst each other and putting me in the middle . The only plus is i'm getting a new stang that needs a little bit of work, but my mustang breaks down all the time now because of vapor lock
All i can say for both of us is hang in there, life can suck ALOT sometimes but it can also be great. My uncle has an advanced case of melanoma and he's basically just running on borrowed time (as hard as it is to realize that) and we're real close, and when i get to talk to him it puts all the BS and soap operas in perspective.
Also, i have alot of the "car" friends your talking about. None of them care a damn about each other, they only hang out to kill time and to not be by themselves, and i'm at the point of saying "F-this BS and F-you guys". It's hard finding a true friend who'll listen to you.
Hang in there man, if it matters at all, i care and understand completely what you're going through (i've had lots of family drama as well).
Good luck Merc, hang in there!

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'84 Mustang 5.0 LX
My car

[This message has been edited by 84stangLX (edited 07-02-2001).]

[Mercury]

Thank you all and everyone for giving me advice. I would of never known that so many people I have never met would actually care about me. Thank you all.

I was begining to think that no one i knew cared, but I guess we also have a hands full with our own problems.

If the world was filled with alot more poeple like you all, it would be a much better place.

Things are starting to look better for me. My step dad is doing alot better, my family is getting along for now, my car friends actually asked me "Hey D, whats wrong man, your not looking like yourself."

The only things left to tackle now are the relationship problems (Things might get worse before they get better) and work. I'm going to go in and put my foot down. There already understaffed and need all the experienced employess they can get. And tell them if they dont start treating me with a little more respect and decency, theyll be down a manager thats been with the company for five years.

My girlfriend, I dont know what to do there yet. Were talking now, but theres alot of tention, but hey its a start.

My friend TimC talked to his service manager and a few drivability guys, there going to overlook any mods on my car and check it out. I think the Home made MIL eliminator gave out. I'm not worrying about it to much because there honoring the warranty. They'll fix it.

It was very touching to hear from you all. Thank you everyone for your support.

Damien (aka Mercury)

p.s. I made so many spelling errors and left out so many words, thats why its been edited to death.

[This message has been edited by Mercury (edited 07-02-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Mercury (edited 07-02-2001).]

[DemonGT]

im not in it as deep as you but i have a loan payment to make every month..a car payment..insurence..i have about 7 parking tickets to pay($20 each) i have another ticket for misuse of power($100)and i owe my dad a ton of money..and i lost my job bout two weeks ago..i just got done puting on over $700 worth of parts on my stang..TFS intake and accufab TB...i also lost my girlfreind..if i dont find a job soon ill be loseing my stang as well

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'91 GT,91K,T-5,air silencer removed,HD clutch,K&N air filter,Mac long tubes,Cat-back,off road H,FMS 9mm wires,180 thermostat,Competition gauges,C&L 76mm MAF,Accufab 70mm TB,TFS street heat intake

Waiting install:Nothing

Future Mods:3.73's,Pro 5.0,TFS heads,TFS stage 1 cam,lakewood struts/shocks,nitto DR's
ICQ#35670781

[slider]

problems problems

Let me tell you a lil bit about myself since everyone else is telling their personal stories. i could make you guys feel a lil bit better or worse after you hear this. I have been sitting on my lazzy azz for almost 3 months trying to find a computer tech position all over San Diego. In the process I already lost my gf, my mustang, all my savings, have lots of bills such as fines and car payments, and recently was thrown in jail for something I didnt do. Now I'm just waiting to get kicked out from my parent's for not trying to make it better for myself and them. My mom is the type of person who works 24/7 and only makes minimun, enough to pay the bills and to feed the lil sisters. My dad is the type of person who sells drugs and disappears from the family for months and doesnt even bother to call any of us (we know he has another family to support). We live in shitties neighborhood where ppl tag on our walls, break into stuff, leave trash all over, smells bad, flys buggin all over, its hot as hell, next door neighbors play their music super loud


What's keeping me busy from going crazy is reading through the corral, mustangworks, stangnet, mustanggt, and other chat clients. And the only thing thats keeping me alive is the pot. i love smoking this stuff..it makes me realize and analize stuff. so yeah it is helping with my depression big time.

I really believe I'm going to find a good job this week and after that everything is going to change. hopefully recover everything i lost from day one. and for now im just there ...trying to survive and hang in there.

so Mercury, its okay to feel like this sometimes. This is what makes you tough and mature. other ppl have it worse around the world.

david

[withamc]

OK I'll throw mine in too. Years ago, my parents were on the verge of a divorce, and they asked the whole family, even the ones not living at home anymore (me) to see a counseler with them. We're kind of a wacky, screwed up family (or were). I was going through soem really bad times (divorce, jail, unemployed) and I said something to the effect that I was just tired of dealing with life. I didn't want to kill myself, but it wouldn't have bothered me if I had just "checked out" at that point.
Over the next couple years, I worked hard, pulled my head out of my *** , went back to school, met a really nice lady that I'm still married to. Things got good for me.
I was helping my parents move a few years ago and as we were packing up the bedroom, I found a peice of paper with some notes on it. Right in the middle of the page, underlined, were the words "Chris says he doesn't want to live anymore". 10 years later, my dad had hung onto this paper. I must have really worried the $hit out of them.
The thing is, none of the stuff that was an issue back then even mattered anymore. I can't even remember what most of my "big" problems were.
Listen to what the rest of these guys are saying.Sometimes you can't even see what's really going on with your life because you're too involved. Listen to what the people outside the fishbowl looking in can see.

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93 GT, CCM long block, GT40P heads, Crane 2031, 1.7 RR's, Moroso cold air, 73mm Vortech, 65mm TB, Cobra intake, 24# injectors, MSD 6AL, MAC GT40P headers, 2-1/2" BBK H-pipe (w/cats), Flowmasters, 3.55s, B&M Ripper shifter, Black Magic fan

[Mercury]

When I was 15 and moved to Fayetteville NC, just a few months later, something happened that changed my life forever. I cant say because to this day, my parents dont know, and I have friends that browse through this site and post here.

Its something I have only told a handfull of people I trust to the fullest extent of the words meaning.

For 5 years, I had trouble sleeping because of reoccuring nightmares and found myself real close to suicide on several occasions. I had some serouis issues, my family thought I was on drugs or gay. I wasnt, and aint either, just having problems copeing with what had happened.

I found myself physically beating myself, and endless hours of despair and tears.

Then I met my Girlfreind, she accepted me for who I was, and all of my problems. I was surprised they didnt scare her away. She showed me the light at the end of the tunnel, and it didnt involve a gun, or a really high railroad bridge. She showed me that there is love in the world. I used to wonder why God had let what happened happen to me, I thought he didnt love me, I thought he was punishing me for something I must of done. She told me and showed me that I was wrong.

As you all mentioned, she showed me that the pain I went though can help other people who arent as strong mentally as I am.

after several years of recovering, I'm in pretty good shape now, still have a few problems that re appear every now and then but I'm leaps and bounds ahead of where I used to be.

Slider..

There may seem to be no end, but if you pay close attention to the people around you, and the surrondings, you will see a end to the problems. After years of searching, pain and despair I found it. I waited for someting to find me, never happened, you have to search, the exit to your problems is there. Be it a Job, a woman, a rare 66 Shelby AC Cobra 427 Street Competition(well okay maybe not that), its there.

[Mach 1]

Well, I wont give you all my personal sob story, but I will say that I have struggled through many depressing times, even tried some medication a couple times(did nothing for me, but has been known to help some people greatly).

When people say "hang in there", it is the truth. I know you dont want to hear it, and that when you are really sad and down, you think it will never get better, but it will. It might take one day, one week, or one year, but things will get better.

Just dont do anything stupid (like make an early exit) because you never know when things will change. You might be miserable one day, and be the happiest person alive the next, but if you check out, you will never see those happy days, and that is the saddest thought of all.

Ill leave you with a saying that is simple, to the point, and true. Remember it when you are struggling through tough times.

"Tough times don't last, tough people do."


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1993 GT/AOD
'93 Mustang GT