Burning Bridges.
 

More than a saying, it is a harsh reality that will come back to haunt you at some point in your life.

*Warning* This is one of Mercurys endless ramblings. Probably makes no sense to anyone, nor may it hold any value. Just need to Vent. A lesson learned, may some one learn from a mistake I had made and paid for.

Few addages actaully apply to general life, even fewer actually hold truth. One that does is Never Burn Bridges. For one will find themself traveling down a path in life that leads to a bridge that was burned a time ago.

Not exactly sure what it was that caused me to Hurt good, close friends, and cheat on a girl friend that loved me dearly. At that point in my life, as traveling down the pervebial (My spelling blows ***) path of life, I was carrying a Torch.

Timber, steel, concrete, no matter how strong a foundation that bridge had, I brought it down in flames and walked on to the next. Ruined alot, almost lost my job, turned to achol (Still recovering, pretty damn hard to kick that habit), killed a few good friendships, and destroyed a relationship.

Funny, how one day you wake up and first thing that crosses your mind is not going to work, not eating, not about the massive headache you have, but the Realization that you Screwed so many people over, and damaged so much good in your life.

Didnt see it or much care before, Then Wham. Slapps you in the face. Perhaps it was my girlfriend finding out that I was cheating on her, coming over my house and crying to my mother. Or perhaps the pain riddled voice that I heard crackling over my answering machine.

Dont know what the hell had happened to me. Still dont know why I had done that. But when I saw it, I started working on rebuilding friendships.

Luckily god has graced me with very forgiving friends, and family. One thing that I'm fighting a loosing battle on though is the Rebuilding the relationship back. Once again tonight, the efforts have failed and a fight broke out. Its heart breaking. I'm trying to do right, and fix what I have wronged.



SO, A WORD OF ADVICE TO THE YOUNGER MEMBERS HERE. BE SURE OF WHAT IT IS YOUR DOING. BIENG COOL, HAVING TEMPORARY FUN, PEER PRESSURE DONT MEAN CRAP IN THE LONG RUN. SOME WRONG DONE IN LIFE CANT BE FIXED.

Okay, sorry about that. Just had Jibber Jabber and get things off my chest, and typing does that for me.

Sounds like you have good morals to stand by.

Re: Burning Bridges.
 

amen bro you know my situation, sometimes i get mad at odie, but i have to stop myself, i cant take it out on her, so i take it out on myself, i guess i really cant explain that. so i'll stfu, cya man. :D :D :D :confused: :D

Good to see that you are figuring out your life and have taken the steps to make things right. Many people could care less to make such an effort.

Just wondering, do you think you went through all that stuff b/c of stubborness/rebelliousness towards the people you said you hurt? One thing I try to do is at LEAST listen to advice/warnings that people give me in life. Don't necessarily have to follow it all, but I try to separate out the good and throw away the bad.

What I'm kinda getting at (and I'm not trying to be your counselor or anything :D :rolleyes: :p ) is that have you tried to exactly pinpoint what it is (what tendencies/traits/characteristics/actions)that causes the culmination into hurting the people you love or that love you? I see you stated that you don't really know why you did the things you did, but it would be a good idea to search yourself and see what allowed you to do such things--- for the purpose of preventing a repeat of history in the future. Know what I mean? For me, every time I learn some great principle or truth (whether it's from negative results of my wrongdoings--"learning the hard way"-- or not) I try my best to analyze it and kinda soak it in.

:)
 

Hey Damian..
Damn....Sounds like you have been dealing with yet more over the past year or so.... You have always been a very strong person, and by reading your post tonight, it made me feel good cuz although you've dealt w/ alot of ****, it sounds like you have a grip now on life and where you want and need to be.
I never see your posts as 'rambling' you are just someone who is very open about your feelings, and I think thats cool, cuz most guys are so introverted about that type of thing, and I commend you for being the way you have ALWAYS been, very open and honest about things...
We all have our skeletons...and they can either teach us how make us change for the better, and make the best of life, or they can drive us in the dirt. Im really sorry that you had such a hard time...and I hope that things work out for you. I hope that if you are trying to get your g/f back that she will forgive you and that things will work out for you. True love is WAAYYY too hard to find....(I know you know that). When you find your 'soulmate' you cant let them go!

It sounds like you have dealt with alot over the past year or so, and it has made you grow and realize what is important to you.
I hope that things work out for you like you are wanting...You are a good person, and you deserve all the happiness that you are entitled to..
just hang in there...I'm glad I checked out the boards tonight...Ive gone for weeks w/out checking out these boards...but I'm glad I did tonight.
It was good to see you here.
Take care, and I wish you all the best! :)
TNT:)

I'm glad you came to the realization, and are fixing things. Some people never do. They just go through life burning bridges and losing people.
I've only burned one bridge, and it was with an ex. g/f. Not a day goes by that I don't regret messing things up with her, I didn't cheat, but lied. And this was two years after we broke up.
We were best friends even after we broke up and she got married, but somehow I messed it up. We'll never be friends again. Looooong story.
I know how you feel, brother. Learn from your mistake, that's really all you can do. :( :( :(

Yep, to me, the meaning of life can be coined in two words, Learning experience . Well, at least to me.

It looks like the relationship has been shattered beyond repair. Yep, when you destroy someones trust in you, it really kind of kills things. We both tried.

I'm a changed person, but I understand why she has doubts in me, lacks trust, and is very insecure. I dont blame her at all. One has to take responsibility for his actions and bare the burden of the consequences.

FOX BODY. I think you hit the nail on the head. I tried to be someone I wasnt, and burned Rome (The past) on my way out. Only to discover that What I had burned was the real me, what I am, who I am, and what I stood for.

Well, thank you everyone for welcoming me back. I actually blushed and got the warm fuzzies.

Hey Mercury, i just wanted to also thank you for considering all of us close enough to share your hardships with. It meens alot to me that you can come on here and share all of your leasons in ife. I can't but help of thinking of things i have done in the past also after reading your story. You know that you are not only helping yourself but also helping others on here. A lot of soul searching has been undertaken in the 3+years i have been here and i will always try to be here to lend my best wishes and support to the members of my big ol stang family when they need it. Take care of your self bro. Jonathan

Well, as far as I know, u didn't burn any bridges here, and if u did, we all forgive u for it-lol

Awhile?
 

Merc, if it's a long term fix, she may eventually see it (my bet she is watching). Hope you get her back, but don't screw up. Easier said than done in my experience, but it is possible.

Do you really still love her? That will give you the answer as to how to perform.

Rev

The answer is...Yes, I do Love her. Even while dating other girls, she was always on my mind. Even when officially broken up, it felt so Wrong dating some one else. Not just out of guilt, but things just didnt feel right.

I've been steadily working on things, and things are now looking good. At least at the moment. Hope it holds out. I'm going to give it my best, and all with the most sincerity.

No more running around on women for me. I hated it when women did it to me. I know the hurt and pain it causes, so I shall not do it anymore to people.

Burned Bridges and Lost Soulmates
 

Have faith brother. The bridge is only half-burned. You have made a solid attempt to rebuild the side you burned and your side is standing. Maybe, she will choose to rebuild her side...I am prayin' and pullin' for you on that one because I can definitley relate to part of your struggles.
Last fall, my fiancee' ditched me and it dang near killed me. I lost
30 pounds in about 6 weeks, felt like I was dying on the inside and hurt like I never had. For some dumb reason, I still love her like nothing had happened and I hope one day she will wake up and realize how great we were together.
I hope your bridge WILL be rebuilt...have faith that it will..and if she chooses not to rebuild her side, the good Lord will give you what you need to make it over the hump. I feel like if it weren't for my faith in God, that I would be on the nuthouse because of events of the past 1-2 years. That's what works for me, but I am not trying to push my beliefs on you.
I wish you well.

:)
 

Good words Mark...noone understands more than someone whose been thru it. I wish both of you the best in everything.
TNT :)

Thanks Christine
 

Thank you Christine ....some days I feel like I'm in the training montage in a Rocky movie("feeling strong now....gonna fly now") and some days I feel as blue as can be. The good thing is that the good days outnumber the bad ones now. My job satisfaction is the best it has been in 4 years and I have rediscovered some old interests that I didn't have time to pursue when she and I were together. None of this has replaced her, but it has helped me cope with things.