[PKRWUD]

You can borrow some of my favorites if you like:

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word.

The difference between meat and fish is that if you beat your fish it dies.

24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Remember: Stop Lights Timed For 35 MPH Are Also Timed For 70 MPH !!!

If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

If you can't beat them..... then they're not tied down properly!

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost
a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Hells Angel with an attitude.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.



And then there's the correction I have found myself having to make lately:

* * * * * * * CORRECTION * * * * * * *
In the past, I have claimed that Microsoft was "...an evil, self serving company with monopolistic tendencies."
I apologize for the error; "self-serving" is a compound adjective and I, of course, should have hyphenated it.


Enjoy-
~Chris