Relationships suck...well...maybe not

[Stang_Crazy]

I'm currently in a pretty screwed-up relationship. It got me thinking...I want a new girlfriend. Yes. Not a toy to play with but a girlfriend. Someone to watch a movie or a sunrise with. Someone to sit in the hot tub with. Someone who understands me and APPRECIATES me.

Sorry, Just had to vent. I'm almost ready to break off this relationship but I don't want to be alone. I'm not even going to get into my situation. It's long and I just don't feel like typing it all out.

[srv1]

you went this far. spill you guts! we need to hear it. it been "find a good woman month" here at MW. just ask the others.

[Stang_Crazy]

OK, here it goes...I'm drunk so it may not make sense at times but I'll try.

I met my girlfriend through my sister over two years ago. It was the summer after I graduated high school and I was looking forward to my senior trip to Myrtle Beach with my friends. My family was going to Myrtle for our family vacation and my friends thought it might be a good idea to meet me down there for a week and a half. My sister got to take a friend with her and chose Coral (my girlfriend). The day before we were supposed to leave, my sister says Coral had been having dreams about me. Dreams about us "hooking up". Before this, I haden't said more than a couple words to Coral. Just "Hi" here and there.

So when we get to the beach, I kinda take the initiative and start talkign to Coral. We talk all day and hang out. I got rediculously drunk the first night and she (Coral) thought it was funny to see me drunk. Over the next week, we spent everyday together and spent the nights together (we never had sex, we just fooled around) We decided to date after about a week of "talking".

We got back from the beach in late August and I had to leave for school in a week. Coral and I spent everyday together for the next week. Finally the day came when I had to leave for school. She was worried that I would find another girl up at school but i told her that she was the one for me. We stayed together.

Around November (3 months into the school year) I get a call from her. She is crying and I ask what's wrong. She says that she just went to the movies with a guy that she met. She said that they didn't kiss or anything and that he dropped her off right after the movie. I felt bad that she was crying and just brushed it off. She had just went on a date with another guy. That was STRIKE ONE.

The next year and a half went by fast with hardly any problems. This past July, Coral was going to Ocean City beach with some friends (6 or 7 girls and 6 or 7 guys). I didn't go with her. When she got back I would hear stories about her "hooking up" with a guy that she went down with. I asked the guy over AIM. I asked if he "had" my girl. He said "f****** right I did". I haven't seem him after that but I probably will tomorrow night at a party. HAHA That was STRIKE TWO.

A month after the above crap happened, I find out from a friend that she (Coral) is seeing another guy behind my back. I ask her and she says it's not true. I ask the dude and he says they have been "talking" for about a week. That was STRIKE THREE.

That's three strikes. But I'm still with her. But now it's different. She doesn't appreciate the things that I do for her. We always fight. It's just not the same as it was in the beginning.

I just want to start over. If I had a new girl and did the things for her that I do for Coral, I would make her melt. But at the same time, I don't want to be alone. I hate being alone and not having anyone to talk to.

The worst part about all of this is that I lost all my friends though these events. I don't talk to any of them anymore. So I don't even have "the guys" to go out with.

I admire anyone who took the time to read about my messed up life. Please give advise if you have any becasue I'm so confused right now I don't know what to do. Should I stay or should I go?

[srv1]

so why dont you talk to your friends? how did this happen? man, its slapping you in the face! she is just using you for what she wanted. i would go with the heartbreak and dump her ***. what does she do for you? i know there is 2 sides of a story, but all i know you do things for her and she dont give a damn!
its hook, line, and sinker, but dont get caught on the hook! get away if you can! you got to remember, that she isnt the only one out there! there is more. trying to find a good one, well thats tough! besides, relationships dont work out if one is a distance away. not saying its an excuse for what she did, but it happens. your not the only one whos been there.
question to ask yourself, is can you leave her? do you have the guts to do it? look at it this way, you can be heartbroken now or be heartbroken forever, which one you choose is up to you. you still going to school? if so, you can meet some college women!
leave her! you still got your sanity, still got the STANG, and your young! no sense it getting wrapped up quite yet. go on a couple of dates, go to clubs, whatever, but dont let this b**ch drag you down! hope i helped!
oh yeah, what are you drinking?

[Stang_Crazy]

I'm not going to school anymore but there are plenty of women in the city to get with

There isn't really another side to the story. She doesn't appreciate me. THATS IT.

You are right...I'm still young (20, 21 in January), and I still have the stang ( man, does it get looks from the females )

And I'm drinking Bacardi Limon. Mmmmm good stuff. It's mixed with lemonade and it's doing the trick very well.

[TXinPA]

Goood StangCrazy!
Dump the girl and move on. You'll be glad you did. you're young and there are zillions of people out there. don't think of starting over as being alone, think of it as a new people meeting adventure. I'm kinda on one of those right now. All I have is my fiance, and a new state I know nothing about.
Have fun!

[srv1]

TXinPA, all i have to say is AMISHVILLE, AMISHVILLE, AMISHVILLE! im serious. if you dont like near or in one of the cities, people down there get a little weird. try and find a liquor shop! try to by beer on Sunday or any day of the week! i dont know how it is in any other state, but in PA you have to go to a beer distributor or a bar just to get a 6 pack!! in NY, you can buy beer at gas stations. i have friends in Louisiana. they said they have a drive thru daquari's!
sorry stang crazy, got off the subject. drop that girl! you got the Stang, the females are lookin'..............u know what to do!

[Godslayer]

Never ever stop talking to your friends because of a girl. If she somehow "requires" you not talk to your friends, then that's the beginning of the end my friend.

Now, the current problem. I'm a blunt person and the bottom line is that you are not happy; accompanied by a lack of appreciation on her part. Move on brother. There is no sense wasting your time with someone who is unappreciative. There are billions of people on this planet. If you look at your odds... they are pretty damn good. Especially with a nice stang backing you up.


You will find someone who sees you as a reason to be happy. That's what we all need.


Bob

[srv1]

Damn straight Bob! you are 130% correct. NEVER, I MEAN NEVER, give up your friends for some woman. the beginning to an end is right! right on! took the words right out of my mouth!

[srv1]

Godslayer, i just noticed you live in or near Albany. thats kewl. have friends up in Albany. what happened to the Stang?

[Godslayer]

I sold it because I couldn't afford to do what I wanted with it, with school and everything. I am considering buying another one in the spring. It was a sweet car though


Bob

[Fox Body]

Did you dump your friends or did they dump you b/c of the girl?

As previously mentioned, never let a girl come b/t you and your friends (unless it is your wife-- and even then there is still a limit). Even though you gave a well-written account of your story, I am still detached from the situation and cannot possibly understand all your feelings toward your girlfriend. But what I would do personally at this point is make one last attempt (and I do meanONE last attempt to straighten things out with her. Spill it all out. Arrange a time when you and her are TOTALLY alone with no distractions and discuss this. Whatever you do, whether you end up breaking up with her or staying together, don't let it becme a time of argument. Keep your cool and be "adults" about the situation. Be totally honest and communicate with her your feelings, remember examples of situations you want to talk to her about. GIve her a chance to talk and LISTEN to her. Make this your last attempt and if it doesnt work out, I'd break off the relationship. That way you are totally in the clear and have pre-exonerated yourself from any possible future guilt or regrets.

Remember, you guys are not married so you don't have to necessarily make it "work out". There's plenty other women out there for you man and if the girl you are with right now isn't the one, then you'll find her, or she'll find you.

God bless...

[Stang_Crazy]

To answer your question Fox Body:

One of my best friends told me that he messed around with my girl about 5 months ago. After he told me that, I stopped talking to him. By not talking to him, I was kinda pushed out of any social events (parties) that my friends were going to.

Everyone tells me to break up with her and that she doesn't deserve me but I have tried before. I break it off but then I second guess myself and before I know it, we're back together. The breaking up thing is going to be easy...It's the stay broken up part that's tough to deal with.

This girl was my first "serious" girlfriend and has been my life for the last 2 1/2 years. I guess it's just scary to leave her when she is all that I have known for so long.

[69fastback]

Damn dude how many times did this girl cheat on U. I counted 3 i bet there is more that u don't even now about. Man just go out and get alot of girls. Hell ur in college got a nice stang i am sure u can get lots of girls. I bet there are tons running around ur school just waiting for a ride form u. O i mean in the stang . Get rid of that girl and get ur slef some new freinds. a real freind would never bang ur girl. Anyway take care dude. I gotta lota beer to go drink.

[1969Mach1]

Yo man, I know what your saying. I've only been going out with my g/f for 5 months but seems like almost the same **** is happening. Not as severe but she goes agaist what I ask her to and seems like she doesn't appreciate what I do for her. Like I do everything for her. I've like grown farther apart with my friends cause I'm always with her. It just seems like you to get the point where you've had enough but you just can't let go. I know there is other woman out there but just I have the fear that the same **** will happen.

It's rough man, I know where your coming from and like to say your not alone.

Nice guys always finish last.
Take it Easy,

[Fox Body]

Stang_Crazy.

I'm sorry, but maybe I missed it.

These "good" friends (the ones who don't invite you to their parties anymore, ESPECIALLY your "Best" friend who fooled around with her????-- *hint of sarcasm*) of yours who tell you to break up with her are the ones who actually say she's cheating on you?? Did she actually say she cheated on you? I hear alot of heresay from supposed "friends". Dont' get me wrong, kick her rear to the curve if she's cheating on you, but only after you've found out the truth.

I'd check on these so-called "friends" too. I know everyone will disagree with me. That's cool.

[Stang_Crazy]

I know for sure that she cheated twice. The first time, she admitted to it. The second time, she played it off until I called the guy up. He said they had been "talking" for a week or so. When I told my g/f she changed her story and admitted that they had been talking.

The events that I described in my little summary of our relationship were only the major times that she has been accused of, or convicted of, cheating. For the entire time we have been dating, I have heard stories about who she was banging or who supposedly was banging her. I have learned that people like to talk. They like to talk ALOT.

Now, when someone comes to me and says that she is cheating, I ask them for proof. If they can't come up with any proof, then I just play it off.

[Fox Body]

Well, I'd feel a bit uncomfortable dating a girl who has a reputation for cheating. Why are you still with her? (I know it's a hard question to answer as easily as it was asked). Hope you don't let your relationship with her turn out to be a big waste of time and effort...

[Stang_Crazy]

More and more, I'm getting the feeling that it has been and will continue to be a waste of time and energy.

I can't really answer your question just yet.

"Why am I still with her?" What a good question...maybe when I find an answer to this question, my solution will be clear. Someone has ALOT of thinking to do...