Possibly the funniest story in a long while
This is a bricklayer's accident report,
which was printed in the
newsletter of the Australian equivalent of
the Workers'Compensation board
This is a true story. Had this guy died,
he'd have received a Darwin Award
for sure....
Dear Sir
"I am writing in response to your request
for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put
"poor planning" as the cause of
my accident. You asked for a fuller
explanation and I trust
the following
details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of
the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six storey
building. When I
completed my work,
I found that I had some bricks left over
which, when weighed later were
found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather
than carry the bricks down by hand,
I decided to lower them in a barrel by using
a pulley, which was attached to
the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up
to the roof,
swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I
went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent
of the bricks. You will
note in Block 11 of the accident report form that
I weigh 135lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence
of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which
was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This
explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the
broken collar bone,as listed in section 3 of the accident report
form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles
deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind
and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning
to experience severe pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks
hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the
barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the
bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of
the building. In the vicinity of the third
floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles,
broken tooth and several lacerations
of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The
encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell into the pile
of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of
bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my
composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay
there
watching
the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This
explains
the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry."
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Moxie Racing