Dilemma - my 16-year old - Page 3

HotRoddin · 12-22-2002, 02:44 AM

Tough call ... to soft and he'll go right back out and do it again. To harsh and you'll turn him into a rebel and he'll be on a first name basis with every cop and judge within 50 miles of you.
Like many have said here, he has to know about consequences, but if you're going to be realistic, he has to know the world and its rules are made of compromise also.
I like the idea of turning it into a strip only car. You get to keep that closeness you have with him, and keep something in common between you, and keep an eye on whats going on in his life too, and at 16 thats of prime importance because this isn't the only mistake hes gonna make!

To all the people that think they have it all covered racing down a residential street ... a freekin goose !! did anybody think of that one ahead of time ?? and it could have just as easily been a child !
I'm a little troubled by the attitude of some i'm picking up that makes it sound like it would have been ok to do what he was doing if only he'd been a bit more experienced with a high performance car ? This goose thing should bring home the fact that there are unforseen things that can happen at speed that could cause even Dale Earnhart to run into a wall, if you catch my drift (pun intended). As far as him being in a lower performance car making a difference ... thats what was racing against him right ??
Keep a close eye on him ... what he does after this scare and all this hassle is extremely important. Did he learn from it or is he just brushing it off ? If you catch wind of him getting involved in that behavior again ... then you have every reason and even a responsibility to pull out all the stops and lower the boom on him hard !

sn95gt19 · 12-23-2002, 12:17 PM

im not a father, i am actually only 21 but i was in the same boat as him, i lost my license from 17-20 i acquired over 30 tickets between the age of 16-17 i bought my first car 67 fastback w/306 went 13.0's(at the time that was REALLY fast) and all hell broke loose, my dad didnt give a shiI what i did, as long as he didnt have to spend any money to get me out of trouble, i have been street racing since the age of 16, there are two drag strips-us41 and one in wisconsin that me and my friends frequent now they have "street car chaos" and "real street drags" they keep the track open until 3:00am and after 12:00 its legal street racing at the track, you can spot people out, go off a flag or light, its really a great program that has worked in my case, i no longer race on the street. (i do go to watch sometimes though) im probably not making sense here!
basically i would take the plates off the car, and build a strictly strip car, i would not let him drive it on the street until you think that he is mature enough to obey the rules, i wouldnt sell the car, than your punishing yourself for something that he did.
also i was charged for wreckless driving in illinois, speeding 60, passing on a median, in a construction zone, with 3 people in the bed of my 95 lightning, i got 20 hours community service for that and it didnt go on my record. if he has no previous record and you go to court with him, i think he should be ok and not lose his license
hopefully he is nothing like me and he will learn his lesson from this, it took me 30 tickets, thousands of dollars, and three years without a license to learn my lesson. but i guess all that matters is that i did learn my lesson.
hopefully this will be the only idiotic thing that he will do, and maybe its a good thing that he got caught so early in the game, before he actually had time to create a lifestyle for himself.

Dark_5.0 · 12-23-2002, 01:25 PM

If he gets the 5.0 back he will race again, It used to be only muscle cars street raced.

Now civics,neons, trucks etc... are all out there street racing.

My point being if you like to race it really doesnt matter what you drive you will find something on your level to race.

The 5.0 isnt the problem he is, maybe you should focus on him more than the car.

JMO,

302 LX Eric · 12-23-2002, 05:15 PM

who keeps digging up these old threads??? hehehe

it's like a time machine or something...

E

The Deuce · 12-23-2002, 06:49 PM

That's what I'm talking about E.

Funny how it was a couple of young one's trying to get the kid an easier punishment. If it was a 6 month thing, he's done already.

sn95gt19 · 12-23-2002, 08:52 PM

dam i didnt even look at the date, im sure its done and over with now.

nevermind, my bad

MEDIK418 · 12-24-2002, 03:13 AM

Been there, done that. I feel for you. My opinion (comes from raising two boys, both with 2 Mustangs each and so far only a fender bender in the snow) No matter what the outcome of the wreck or the ticket, you need to be consistant and stand by what you two agreed on.

Now. . .don't misunderstand me, my youngest would give the pope an ulcer and knows the defensive driving instructor in our county by name. ( did you know a 2001 Saturn will go 97 mph???)Our biggest agreement still stands, you get a ticket on your record and I drop the insurance. He can still drive, but he also gets to eat the rediculous insurance bill too. His choice. Yes he's had tickets and he's lost the keys to his car before and it hurts to do it but I figured if I gave in what would we agree to give up next?

Kids are going to make mistakes and I'm sure he's no more a monster than any other 16 year old in the world. I can only hope. . .that mine know there are consequences to actions like these and they have to own up to them and it sounds like your son is on the right track.

Stay on him is all I can say. I've had the misfortune of having to attend to 5 teenagers in our town who managed to kill themselves in car wrecks. Some from speeding, others from alcohol. All of them I knew very well. I've always prayed that I would never have to respond to one of my own kids and find him dead.

I've devoted my life to my boys and theres' no way to describe the enjoyment of building these cars over the years with them but sometimes I had to put being a Dad way out in front of being their freind.

Hope everything turns out well with da Judge and you sound like you got a plan for the rest. Good luck.

Onerare91LX · 12-24-2002, 10:58 PM

Yous son was dumb for street racing! He must not have much common sense to say " we could probaby race at the track on a saturday or sunday" I'm 16 and have enough common sense to say bite me to the dumb@ss who wants to race or say I'll see you at the dragstrip sunday. Street racing is stupid and he should get his license taken away!

Mustang_289 · 12-25-2002, 06:37 AM

Well guys/gals - let me give you an update. The racing incident got dropped, the policeman was a good guy and didn't write my son up for racing but wreckless driving. In our state there's a first time offense policy for under 18 drivers. If you go to driving school the incident will be dropped from your driving record. So he was lucky on this one.

There was another incident that caused him to lose his license for 6-months. My son's best friend graduated high school and several of them decided to toast his grad with a beer. There were about 6-8 of my son's friends and they all had a single beer to toast with. Another couple of friends showed up and they moved outside to talk. Well - two policeman were walking the streets and caught my son with a beer in his hand and wrote him up for underage drinking. Man - the courts threw the book at him, lost his license for 6 months, 24 hours of community service, 20 AA meetings.. All these teenagers are great kids - as they've hung out at our house many nights watching movies videos, playing x-box.

This young man has learned a lot from this experience and hopefully he and his friends clearly understand a 20-second brain fart can impact your life for a long time.

One week before he lost his license I took him to a track for his first offical 1/4 mile race. This was awesome guys - watching your son crank down the track with a car that we've put some hard work into! He's now really got the 1/4 mile bug - and really wants to take his car to the next level for the track. Game plan is for the stang to be a weekend warrior and maybe cruise around town etc.

We're taking the time and working on the car over the winter while he's lost his license. As a matter of fact - he's getting new gears for Christmas.

NJTMustangGT · 12-25-2002, 03:01 PM

Well, my parents weren't as laid back as you are when I got my liscense. Since I was 14 I wanted a Camaro or Mustang. I begged and begged but my parents wouldnt let me get anything past 150hp for my first car. I'm now past 17, Ive had my liscense for a year and a half now, and my parents finally are allowing me to get my Mustang GT in the Spring (3 months from now). Your son did make a mistake, all kids his age would. It takes alot more willpower to say no then most people think, I know I woulda done the same thing yuor son did a year ago. My suggestion, take it away for awhile, let him work on it, and give him the disappointment of not having his mustang and have him tell his friends why. Maybe a few months from now when he learns, sell it back to him at a low price

. Maybe a good birthday gift if you ask me.

Mustang_289 · 12-26-2002, 08:13 AM

I wouldn't say we're laid back, my view was and still is to this day - if a teenager decides to break the law he can do it just as easily with a 100hp ricer. My wife agreed to the Mustang - but she said the car cannot run and my son and I would have to put lots of work into it to get it to run. This way our son would be less likely to do something stupid.

We also understand that we all make mistakes - even us adults.. What's important that we've stressed to our son is you made a mistake - what did you learn from it.. Hopefully from now on - seeing what can happen to him with lose of license, all that community service etc - it will be much easier to say no.

Good luck with getting your GT in 3 months!

tireburner163 · 12-26-2002, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Onerare91LX
Yous son was dumb for street racing! He must not have much common sense to say " we could probaby race at the track on a saturday or sunday" I'm 16 and have enough common sense to say bite me to the dumb@ss who wants to race or say I'll see you at the dragstrip sunday. Street racing is stupid and he should get his license taken away!

Don't fall off that high horse......it's a long way down.

MEDIK418 · 12-27-2002, 12:49 AM

What he said!

12-23-2002, 12:17 PM	#42
sn95gt19 motors done......woohooo Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 799	im not a father, i am actually only 21 but i was in the same boat as him, i lost my license from 17-20 i acquired over 30 tickets between the age of 16-17 i bought my first car 67 fastback w/306 went 13.0's(at the time that was REALLY fast) and all hell broke loose, my dad didnt give a shiI what i did, as long as he didnt have to spend any money to get me out of trouble, i have been street racing since the age of 16, there are two drag strips-us41 and one in wisconsin that me and my friends frequent now they have "street car chaos" and "real street drags" they keep the track open until 3:00am and after 12:00 its legal street racing at the track, you can spot people out, go off a flag or light, its really a great program that has worked in my case, i no longer race on the street. (i do go to watch sometimes though) im probably not making sense here! basically i would take the plates off the car, and build a strictly strip car, i would not let him drive it on the street until you think that he is mature enough to obey the rules, i wouldnt sell the car, than your punishing yourself for something that he did. also i was charged for wreckless driving in illinois, speeding 60, passing on a median, in a construction zone, with 3 people in the bed of my 95 lightning, i got 20 hours community service for that and it didnt go on my record. if he has no previous record and you go to court with him, i think he should be ok and not lose his license hopefully he is nothing like me and he will learn his lesson from this, it took me 30 tickets, thousands of dollars, and three years without a license to learn my lesson. but i guess all that matters is that i did learn my lesson. hopefully this will be the only idiotic thing that he will do, and maybe its a good thing that he got caught so early in the game, before he actually had time to create a lifestyle for himself. __________________ 95gt lazer red (98 cobra clone) Rice Haters Club Member #116

12-23-2002, 01:25 PM	#43
Dark_5.0 Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Staging lane Posts: 4,337	If he gets the 5.0 back he will race again, It used to be only muscle cars street raced. Now civics,neons, trucks etc... are all out there street racing. My point being if you like to race it really doesnt matter what you drive you will find something on your level to race. The 5.0 isnt the problem he is, maybe you should focus on him more than the car. JMO, __________________ 92' LX-Big brakes, Lots and lots of suspension, GT40X heads, Ported cobra intake, stock cam, Vortech SC trim. 00' Lightning-Stock 88'CRX-13 second ego killer

12-23-2002, 05:15 PM	#44
302 LX Eric or '331 LX Eric' Join Date: Jan 1999 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 2,142	who keeps digging up these old threads??? hehehe it's like a time machine or something... E __________________ 1991 5.0 LX Coupe - 40,750 miles 331 cu. in. / Tremec 3550 / BFG Drag Radials 12.22 @ 114.31 mph - w/1.89 60'

12-23-2002, 06:49 PM	#45
The Deuce Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 2,325	That's what I'm talking about E. Funny how it was a couple of young one's trying to get the kid an easier punishment. If it was a 6 month thing, he's done already. __________________ 1997 Mustang GT "The Freak" - 13.80 @ 101.70, 2.07 60' 1995 Honda VFR750 - not much @ really fast (actual data pending.) 1964.5 Mustang 289 Rice Haters Club Member #13

12-23-2002, 08:52 PM	#46
sn95gt19 motors done......woohooo Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 799	dam i didnt even look at the date, im sure its done and over with now. nevermind, my bad __________________ 95gt lazer red (98 cobra clone) Rice Haters Club Member #116

12-22-2002, 02:44 AM	#41
HotRoddin cranky old man Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Longview Texas Posts: 683	Tough call ... to soft and he'll go right back out and do it again. To harsh and you'll turn him into a rebel and he'll be on a first name basis with every cop and judge within 50 miles of you. Like many have said here, he has to know about consequences, but if you're going to be realistic, he has to know the world and its rules are made of compromise also. I like the idea of turning it into a strip only car. You get to keep that closeness you have with him, and keep something in common between you, and keep an eye on whats going on in his life too, and at 16 thats of prime importance because this isn't the only mistake hes gonna make! To all the people that think they have it all covered racing down a residential street ... a freekin goose !! did anybody think of that one ahead of time ?? and it could have just as easily been a child ! I'm a little troubled by the attitude of some i'm picking up that makes it sound like it would have been ok to do what he was doing if only he'd been a bit more experienced with a high performance car ? This goose thing should bring home the fact that there are unforseen things that can happen at speed that could cause even Dale Earnhart to run into a wall, if you catch my drift (pun intended). As far as him being in a lower performance car making a difference ... thats what was racing against him right ?? Keep a close eye on him ... what he does after this scare and all this hassle is extremely important. Did he learn from it or is he just brushing it off ? If you catch wind of him getting involved in that behavior again ... then you have every reason and even a responsibility to pull out all the stops and lower the boom on him hard !

12-24-2002, 03:13 AM	#47
MEDIK418 Registered Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Amarillo, Texas, USA Posts: 780	Been there, done that. I feel for you. My opinion (comes from raising two boys, both with 2 Mustangs each and so far only a fender bender in the snow) No matter what the outcome of the wreck or the ticket, you need to be consistant and stand by what you two agreed on. Now. . .don't misunderstand me, my youngest would give the pope an ulcer and knows the defensive driving instructor in our county by name. ( did you know a 2001 Saturn will go 97 mph???)Our biggest agreement still stands, you get a ticket on your record and I drop the insurance. He can still drive, but he also gets to eat the rediculous insurance bill too. His choice. Yes he's had tickets and he's lost the keys to his car before and it hurts to do it but I figured if I gave in what would we agree to give up next? Kids are going to make mistakes and I'm sure he's no more a monster than any other 16 year old in the world. I can only hope. . .that mine know there are consequences to actions like these and they have to own up to them and it sounds like your son is on the right track. Stay on him is all I can say. I've had the misfortune of having to attend to 5 teenagers in our town who managed to kill themselves in car wrecks. Some from speeding, others from alcohol. All of them I knew very well. I've always prayed that I would never have to respond to one of my own kids and find him dead. I've devoted my life to my boys and theres' no way to describe the enjoyment of building these cars over the years with them but sometimes I had to put being a Dad way out in front of being their freind. Hope everything turns out well with da Judge and you sound like you got a plan for the rest. Good luck. __________________ 1986 four-eyed LX coupe, 358 Cleveland, Tremec TKO600/centerforce clutch, dish cut Probe forged pistons, comp cams hyd.roller cam, .579/.588@224/230, Edel.performer, 670 holley street avenger, CPR custom built long tubes, ported and polished 4bbl heads, manley valves, beehive springs, MSD peo-billet dist/MSD6AL, fluidamper, 5 lug conv. with 17x8 bullits there's more but it's still not finished yet. Oh, and the oldest boy is turning his 89 GT into a FFR cobra this next summer.

12-24-2002, 10:58 PM	#48
Onerare91LX Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: DeKalb, IL Posts: 41	Yous son was dumb for street racing! He must not have much common sense to say " we could probaby race at the track on a saturday or sunday" I'm 16 and have enough common sense to say bite me to the dumb@ss who wants to race or say I'll see you at the dragstrip sunday. Street racing is stupid and he should get his license taken away! __________________ 1991 mustang LX 5.0 AOD Calypso Green (1of 370 Made!) Modifications:BBK Fenderwell CAI, Pro-Flow Chrome Bullet MAF, Accufab 65mm TB, Kirban AFPR, BBK Fuel Pressure Gauge, TrickFlow Street Heat Intake, Trick Flow 3/8 spacer, FMS 24lb Injectors, TrickFlow Valve Covers, TrickFlow Twisted Wedge Heads, FMS 1.6 RR's, 2.02/1.60 Ferrea valves, MSD Coil, FMS Plug Wires, FMS Air Pump Idler Pulley, FMS A/C Eliminator, Lentech Street Terminator Valve Body, TrickFlow Trans Pan, B&M Trans Cooler, AFM Switch Panel, FMS Ceramic Coated Shorty Headers, Bassani O/R X-pipe, Dynomax "Race Magnum" Cat-Back, Auto-meter Gauge Cage & Water Temp & Oil Pressure Gauges, Walbro 255lph Fuel Pump, FMS 4.10 Gear, FMS 5-Lug Conversion, R58 '95 Cobra R Wheels.

12-25-2002, 06:37 AM	#49
Mustang_289 Registered Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 512	Well guys/gals - let me give you an update. The racing incident got dropped, the policeman was a good guy and didn't write my son up for racing but wreckless driving. In our state there's a first time offense policy for under 18 drivers. If you go to driving school the incident will be dropped from your driving record. So he was lucky on this one. There was another incident that caused him to lose his license for 6-months. My son's best friend graduated high school and several of them decided to toast his grad with a beer. There were about 6-8 of my son's friends and they all had a single beer to toast with. Another couple of friends showed up and they moved outside to talk. Well - two policeman were walking the streets and caught my son with a beer in his hand and wrote him up for underage drinking. Man - the courts threw the book at him, lost his license for 6 months, 24 hours of community service, 20 AA meetings.. All these teenagers are great kids - as they've hung out at our house many nights watching movies videos, playing x-box. This young man has learned a lot from this experience and hopefully he and his friends clearly understand a 20-second brain fart can impact your life for a long time. One week before he lost his license I took him to a track for his first offical 1/4 mile race. This was awesome guys - watching your son crank down the track with a car that we've put some hard work into! He's now really got the 1/4 mile bug - and really wants to take his car to the next level for the track. Game plan is for the stang to be a weekend warrior and maybe cruise around town etc. We're taking the time and working on the car over the winter while he's lost his license. As a matter of fact - he's getting new gears for Christmas.

12-25-2002, 03:01 PM	#50
NJTMustangGT Registered Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 6	Some advice from someone your son's age Well, my parents weren't as laid back as you are when I got my liscense. Since I was 14 I wanted a Camaro or Mustang. I begged and begged but my parents wouldnt let me get anything past 150hp for my first car. I'm now past 17, Ive had my liscense for a year and a half now, and my parents finally are allowing me to get my Mustang GT in the Spring (3 months from now). Your son did make a mistake, all kids his age would. It takes alot more willpower to say no then most people think, I know I woulda done the same thing yuor son did a year ago. My suggestion, take it away for awhile, let him work on it, and give him the disappointment of not having his mustang and have him tell his friends why. Maybe a few months from now when he learns, sell it back to him at a low price . Maybe a good birthday gift if you ask me.

12-26-2002, 08:13 AM	#51
Mustang_289 Registered Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 512	I wouldn't say we're laid back, my view was and still is to this day - if a teenager decides to break the law he can do it just as easily with a 100hp ricer. My wife agreed to the Mustang - but she said the car cannot run and my son and I would have to put lots of work into it to get it to run. This way our son would be less likely to do something stupid. We also understand that we all make mistakes - even us adults.. What's important that we've stressed to our son is you made a mistake - what did you learn from it.. Hopefully from now on - seeing what can happen to him with lose of license, all that community service etc - it will be much easier to say no. Good luck with getting your GT in 3 months!

12-27-2002, 12:49 AM	#53
MEDIK418 Registered Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Amarillo, Texas, USA Posts: 780	What he said! __________________ 1986 four-eyed LX coupe, 358 Cleveland, Tremec TKO600/centerforce clutch, dish cut Probe forged pistons, comp cams hyd.roller cam, .579/.588@224/230, Edel.performer, 670 holley street avenger, CPR custom built long tubes, ported and polished 4bbl heads, manley valves, beehive springs, MSD peo-billet dist/MSD6AL, fluidamper, 5 lug conv. with 17x8 bullits there's more but it's still not finished yet. Oh, and the oldest boy is turning his 89 GT into a FFR cobra this next summer.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
I topped myself this year.......	Pokey 5.0	Blue Oval Lounge	11	05-27-2003 11:28 AM
2002. It Was A Pretty Decent Year	PKRWUD	Blue Oval Lounge	21	01-07-2003 11:45 PM
Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035	MustangKelly96	Blue Oval Lounge	5	10-10-2002 11:20 PM
1 year anniversary	7up	Blue Oval Lounge	10	07-07-2002 01:01 PM
Last year of Functional Side Scoops?	95mustanggt	Blue Oval Lounge	2	08-30-2001 05:37 PM