Took me a while to read it all, but I finally did. (Maybe I should've started when the # of post were at about 5
).
Well, anyway, there is a lot of good advice here and
pony_power_90, that was a touching account you gave. It would be hard for me to fathom that no guy (sorry, I can't speak for the women) has ever been to what you've been too. I think we've all gone through it (of course depending on age)-- maybe not entirely, but at least to a certain extent. I have-- to that certain extent-- been through what you've been through. The only diff is that I didn't spend nearly as much as you, not monetarily, but
time. It was the
time that was spent. Won't go into all the details, but for me,
friendship WILL come first b4 there is a deeper relationship. I'm not an avid dating game contestant. It's kinda just not my thing. That is perhaps why I have been single for over 4 years. (Well I am kinda picky too). I also refuse to do the bar scene.
I love women-- no doubt. They make me feel all squishy inside
, but I've learned to just take it easy and not to get all uptight about them (only took me one or 2 times to learn). I'm the type of guy that cannot do the 3 month relationship with a girl and then just "Bye bye". I don't think I could take that and there's too much other crap that goes along with it that I just don't have time for. I know of friends (close friends) that have been through relationships with girls and just be cause they are "fine". Ends up with lots of problems and heartbreak. So from their experiences and mine (2 diff experiences) I've learned to just take it easy. Now, I am more into my car and guitar. Currently, I have a passion for them that is unequaled by any other earthly desire.
I dunno, being in the state I am in now, gives me the chance to strain and
refine the thoughts in my head--refine who I am-- and for the better. I look and see desperate guys in relationships that suck mostly b/c they feel they GOT to be with a girl (or just desparate) and I want no part in that game. Sorry, I'm tired of it all and next time it will be
right or it will
not be (hope you can understand me). Yes, I would LOVE to be completed (for now I feel incomplete <---please don't laugh at me) soon, but I feel I have grown a bit (and could most definately grow more) and with patience I will continue the path of straightened priorities: My God, my family and friends, myself, and my car and guitar.
To tell the truth, I am glad I didn't purse some relationships that I might have. I can see where just being layed back and taking it easy has spared me much grief. So, I'm gonna try my best to draw the line between "longing" for the woman of my dreams and being utterly "desperate." Well, I believe that personally, if I do, we'll meet soon enough, and whenever that is, that'll be the best. In the mean time, I will make do with what I have.
Take care you all and thanks for all of your insight in this mega-thread. Gives me a few things to think about.