Blacking out
mustang17:
What's happening to you is this: Alcohol disrupts information processing in a variety of brain regions, including the hippocampus, a structure known to play a central role in event memory formation. Briefly; You're losing short-term memory function.
Not directly life-threatening but not good. Alcohol is the cause of it, as you realized.
Stop drinking and the blackouts should go away. The memories you've lost are gone forever.
I would rather - as the vodka ad says-
'Make it a night you won't forget, not one you can't remember'.
Seriously, you need to stop drinking. How? Will power and the motivation only you can provide. Self-control is mostly all mental. Not easy, of course (that's why they have all those programs) but quite possible, especially while you're still young and haven't destroyed your body or your life.
Do it.
Nothing you get from drinking and being high is worth the price you'll soon pay in physical and emotional damage. Your girlfriend problems are just the beginning. It will get progressivly worse and as it does, you'll move from your present state of intelligent concern into denial that you have any 'problem' at all. It's mostly downhill from there. Even if you can maintain a job and a outwardly normal life you'll spend a lot of time hiding your drinking and you'll have emotional and personal problems that get worse as time goes by. It's a nightmare you don't want to buy into, for any reason.
Drinking is a decision we make. Make the decision to push past whatever motivates your heavy drinking and taper it off, at the least. You can get out of this but not if you dither and stall and make excuses. The very fact that you posted this message is a very good sign.
You know you're in trouble and want to get out of it. Do it. Being almost constantly high isn't macho, kewl or manly, just destructive.
Along with the others on the thread, I applaud your courage in seeking answers and some help. Now take the next step and act on what you know you need to do. Certainly not for us but for yourself, while you can do it without years of therapy and dealing with physical damage heavy drinking causes.
We all wish you well.
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