12-29-2002, 02:31 PM
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#1
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Registered Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: LA, or Bakersfield, CA
Posts: 273
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Classified Ad Terminology
Classified Ad Terminology
If The Ad Reads . . . It Really Means
- . . .or best offer: I'm guessing here
- 90% complete: You do the other 90%
- 95% complete: Other 5% doesn't exist
- All Original: I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.
- Burns no oil: It all leaks out
- Clean: Homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows
- Concours: Recently waxed
- Desirable classic: No one wants it
- Drive it anywhere: Within 10 miles
- Drive it away: I live on a hill
- Engine blueprinted: I don't know what it means either
- Engine quiet: Uses 90-weight oil
- Excellent gas mileage: It's slow
- Faster than a 'vette: A Chevette
- Good investment: Can't be worth much less
And that's all
- Good transportation: It's ugly
- Great enthusiasts car: I'm looking for a sucker
- House forces sale: Neighbors complaining
- Immaculate: Recently washed
- Loaded with Options: each one more troublesome than the next.
- Looks Like New: just don't try to drive it anywhere.
- Lots of Potential: doesn't run.
- Low miles: The odometer was turned back
- Must Sell: before it blows up.
- Needs major overhaul: Phone the junkyard
- Needs minor overhaul: Needs engine
- Needs Minor Repair: doesn't run.
- Needs Some Body Work: Was side-swiped by a Winnebago.
- Never apart: Bolts too rounded to loosen
- Never Smoken In: unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.
- No time to restore it: Can't obtain parts
- One owner: Can't give it away
- One owner: Hertz
- Older restoration: First owner washed it
- Parts car: Beyond repair
- Project Car: doesn't run.
- Ran when stored: Won't start
- Rare classic: No one wanted it even when it was new.
- Rebuilt engine: Cleaned the spark plugs
- Restored, with 0 miles: Won't start
- Restored, with 2 miles: Won't stay running
- Rough condition: Too bad to lie about
- Runs Fine: I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience.
- Solid as a rock: Rusted solid
- Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I go!"
- Stored 20 years: In a lake
- Sure to appreciate: That's why I'm selling it
- Trades considered: I'm desperate
- Well-Maintained: I changed the oil occasionally.
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