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jocatmust · 02-22-2004, 08:29 PM

You are right on one thing, he does have high expections of what a wife is supposed to do. He sees it as he is boss and I do as I am told. I told him before marriage that I was not like this. He knew. I did alot of things for him because I was happy to do them because I loved him. I got sick with the flu for about three weeks and was too tired to do things. This made him angry because he could not understand. He did bail early on as soon as problems happened. We had not fought until then. His mother butting in from the start did not help. In his mind, I left. He told me for three days straight to leave. What am I suppose to do. I went to the house to try to get the last remaining things I had in the house. He would not let me in the house. By law, I have a right to enter. That day he showed me just how mean he can be. I knew when he drank that he was mean, but I never thought he could be as mean as he could be. This man took vows with me, and now they mean nothing. I can't believe I waited 32 years to find my Mr. Right, to have him basically tell me he does not love me and after three months of marriage he wants out. He tells me I married for money. For one, he doesn't have any and two if I did, why was I always worried about saving money.When he told me to leave, I left with no place to live, no money, and no car. I didn't take a necklace he gave me, or a watch his mother gave me that I wanted him to give me, but no, he couldn't tell his mother no. I left him things that I bought for the house. I had a turkey thawing out in the sink to cook him a nice meal. Please!!! Now, he tells me he is looking for a quick way to get a divorced. Then he tells me he and I might can start over and date. He is toying with my emotions. I considered being told that I only married for money as an insult that I take very personally. I am not like that, nor have I ever been. He puts value in money. At christmas, his parents spent $800.00 on him and his brother. I think that they could have find a better and more loving why to show how much that they care about one another. Money will get you no where. Love, kindness, and respect will get you more places. He just bought a new car, and he tells me he got his self-esteem back. I can't believe he needs a car to make him feel good about his self. Please, I think if he listened to his heart and not his drinking bundies or his mother, he might find peace. The sad thing is, I still love him. I know he has no clue what he wants, nor does he want to be married. I plan to move on with my life. He told me the marriage is OVER! There is nothing I can do, and as mean as he has been I don't think he would have a chance. Yes, you can tell that I am very hurt. I appreciate your honesty. You are right, the one thing I have always done is respect people and the way they think. I did respect my husband until he allowed his mother to talk, well not so nice to me. I am his wife and expected him to take up for me. I know that this is his mother, but isn't marriage about he and I and our future? He has beleive his mother over me every time. He doesn't even give me the benefit of the doubt. At this point, I give up!! I have told him to not contact me anymore. I can't take his insults and his meanness!! I know that it takes two to ruin a relationship, I know that I am to blame too, but the buttom line is that he has wanted out of the marriage since basically it happened. I can't believe him!! He pushed me into marriage for him just to want to bail, what is that!!!

02-22-2004, 08:29 PM	#16
jocatmust Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 43	Re: Saving a marriage You are right on one thing, he does have high expections of what a wife is supposed to do. He sees it as he is boss and I do as I am told. I told him before marriage that I was not like this. He knew. I did alot of things for him because I was happy to do them because I loved him. I got sick with the flu for about three weeks and was too tired to do things. This made him angry because he could not understand. He did bail early on as soon as problems happened. We had not fought until then. His mother butting in from the start did not help. In his mind, I left. He told me for three days straight to leave. What am I suppose to do. I went to the house to try to get the last remaining things I had in the house. He would not let me in the house. By law, I have a right to enter. That day he showed me just how mean he can be. I knew when he drank that he was mean, but I never thought he could be as mean as he could be. This man took vows with me, and now they mean nothing. I can't believe I waited 32 years to find my Mr. Right, to have him basically tell me he does not love me and after three months of marriage he wants out. He tells me I married for money. For one, he doesn't have any and two if I did, why was I always worried about saving money.When he told me to leave, I left with no place to live, no money, and no car. I didn't take a necklace he gave me, or a watch his mother gave me that I wanted him to give me, but no, he couldn't tell his mother no. I left him things that I bought for the house. I had a turkey thawing out in the sink to cook him a nice meal. Please!!! Now, he tells me he is looking for a quick way to get a divorced. Then he tells me he and I might can start over and date. He is toying with my emotions. I considered being told that I only married for money as an insult that I take very personally. I am not like that, nor have I ever been. He puts value in money. At christmas, his parents spent $800.00 on him and his brother. I think that they could have find a better and more loving why to show how much that they care about one another. Money will get you no where. Love, kindness, and respect will get you more places. He just bought a new car, and he tells me he got his self-esteem back. I can't believe he needs a car to make him feel good about his self. Please, I think if he listened to his heart and not his drinking bundies or his mother, he might find peace. The sad thing is, I still love him. I know he has no clue what he wants, nor does he want to be married. I plan to move on with my life. He told me the marriage is OVER! There is nothing I can do, and as mean as he has been I don't think he would have a chance. Yes, you can tell that I am very hurt. I appreciate your honesty. You are right, the one thing I have always done is respect people and the way they think. I did respect my husband until he allowed his mother to talk, well not so nice to me. I am his wife and expected him to take up for me. I know that this is his mother, but isn't marriage about he and I and our future? He has beleive his mother over me every time. He doesn't even give me the benefit of the doubt. At this point, I give up!! I have told him to not contact me anymore. I can't take his insults and his meanness!! I know that it takes two to ruin a relationship, I know that I am to blame too, but the buttom line is that he has wanted out of the marriage since basically it happened. I can't believe him!! He pushed me into marriage for him just to want to bail, what is that!!!