The marriage was not all bad all the time. We did have some great times until basically last three weeks we were together. I think our main problem is that it was rushed. We meet in May and married in November. I should have listened to myself and gave it more time. I wanted to find love so bad. I wanted a husband and to have a child. I should have realized that nothing can be rushed even how you are feeling. I should have known that when i find girls' phone numbers that he did not have in his mind that we were a forever yet. Right after we got married i find out that he called some girl off the internet when he was drunk. That brought up trust issues for me. i felt that why was he calling someone else and not tell me about it for months. i should have realized that when we talked of wedding plans that his nervousness was because he was not ready. He said I pushed him into marriage. I may have push for a date. That could have been next year some time. He wanted me to move in with him after 2 months and we got engaged fast, now why wouldn't i ask for a wedding date when I thought since he was rushing that that was clearly what he wanted? i was wrong. I don't regret marry him, I wish we had waited longer. Maybe we would both have been ready for marriage. Now, I will be separated longer than I was married. i am clearly upset about the whole thing. The bottom line, is the only type of woman he wants is one that is just like him and what he expects. i guess I am not that. Marriage is supposed to be about love and compromises. Am I wrong? I honestly believed we be forever and could work things out no matter what. I was so happy when we were married because i felt it as a forever and I would never have to go through the dating scene again. I envy him how he can turn his feelings off and not care anymore! It seems like everyday I find out more of what he has said behind my back and now I hear he is with someone else. I knew he would be. I guess if he can do all this so soon, he never loved me. I know now that marriage doesn't mean anything to him. That is what is wrong with today, nobody takes anything serious. Marriage is like a relationship, if something doesn't go just like you want, well screw it and I am out!! My value system is clearly different then his. He is raw and out there. i am more conservative. i honestly give up on finding love. i will be too scared to ever try again!!! Thanks everyone for listening to me. It has help me to talk it out. I know that my husband believes that I am a horrible person. The only person that I am is someone who feel in love and married for love and no more. I guess I was wrong for doing that. He can't see it because he thinks so harsh of me. i feel if he can think so harsh of me so soon and not want to work things out, again he clearly never loved me. I give up on the marriage. i have a few things that might work in my life that may give me hope that my life will get better. next year about this time i will be getting divorced. I am clearly unlucky in love and meant to stay alone. i am hoping that I am wrong on this, but I just don't see it changing.
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