how to keep a healthy level of insanity

tireburner163 · 09-12-2001, 11:26 PM

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@OCDSB.edu.on.ca or
Elvis-the-King@OCDSB.edu.on.ca

4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

8) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."

9) Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

10) dont use any punctuation

11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

14) Sing along at the opera.

15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds.......all day.

17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

18) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I won! 3rd time this week!!!"

20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

21) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".

22) Blow bubbles out the window of your car on the
interstate. Watch people swerve to avoid running into them.

------------------
THE SLO PONY
1992 Ford Mustand LX. 2.3 liter four-banger, auto. Mods: yanked air-intake silencer Future mods: V-8 or turbo 2.3 swap.

If it ain't broke, you ain't tryin hard enough

09-12-2001, 11:34 PM

good one i needed a good laugh after work tonite ooop forgot puncuations

------------------

86GT · 09-13-2001, 09:21 AM

After all the current tragedies, we all need a good laugh. Thank you tireburner!

Topless In Texas · 09-13-2001, 09:39 AM

Thanks.
Looks like MOM2k's flight has been cancelled, and one of my running buddies wont make it in from Miami. This week sucks. Thanks for the laugh!!! I needed that, and I'm also late for work.

------------------
1994 GT CONVERTIBLE
TOPLESS IN TEXAS Girls can too's July "Mare of the Month"

Performance Red. Cold Air Ind.,K&N,H.P. Pulleys,OffRoad H-Pipe,Subframe Connectors,Flows,3.55,Light bar,Custom HeadRests.Lotta Chrome

09-12-2001, 11:26 PM	#1
tireburner163 It's a lot like a race car Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Meridian, MS Posts: 4,130	how to keep a healthy level of insanity HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@OCDSB.edu.on.ca or Elvis-the-King@OCDSB.edu.on.ca 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." 6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. 7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 8) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS." 9) Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 10) dont use any punctuation 11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 14) Sing along at the opera. 15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds.......all day. 17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 18) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. 19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I won! 3rd time this week!!!" 20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" 21) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go". 22) Blow bubbles out the window of your car on the interstate. Watch people swerve to avoid running into them. ------------------ THE SLO PONY 1992 Ford Mustand LX. 2.3 liter four-banger, auto. Mods: yanked air-intake silencer Future mods: V-8 or turbo 2.3 swap. If it ain't broke, you ain't tryin hard enough

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09-12-2001, 11:34 PM	#2
mustang marty gt Guest Posts: n/a	good one i needed a good laugh after work tonite ooop forgot puncuations ------------------

09-13-2001, 09:21 AM	#3
86GT Sniffed too much n20 Join Date: Oct 1998 Location: Ont, Canada Posts: 1,018	After all the current tragedies, we all need a good laugh. Thank you tireburner!

09-13-2001, 09:39 AM	#4
Topless In Texas Not broken anymore! Join Date: May 2001 Location: La Porte, TEXASS :) Posts: 1,963	Thanks. Looks like MOM2k's flight has been cancelled, and one of my running buddies wont make it in from Miami. This week sucks. Thanks for the laugh!!! I needed that, and I'm also late for work. ------------------ 1994 GT CONVERTIBLE TOPLESS IN TEXAS Girls can too's July "Mare of the Month" Performance Red. Cold Air Ind.,K&N,H.P. Pulleys,OffRoad H-Pipe,Subframe Connectors,Flows,3.55,Light bar,Custom HeadRests.Lotta Chrome