Us vs. Them: why ricers suck!

[Coupe Devil]

OK here goes.

Us: Stickers for Contingency.
Them: Stickers for extra horsepower.

Us: Keeping a low profile and letting the e.t.'s tell the story.
Them: Hoping the outrageous body kit will distract anyone from discussing e.t.'s

Us: Sidways into third gear.
Them: Sideways to avoid high-centering on a speed bump.

Us: Tall spindle conversion for better camber gain and tire wear.
Them: Lowering 3 inches and running tires with 4 degrees of negatice camber.

Us: composite parts for light weight and aerodynamics.
Them: COmposite veneer dash trim and guages.

Us: Upgrading to a 9-inch cause you keep breaking stock rears.
Them: Realizing your built motor will keep breaking half shafts forever.

Us: 600 hp on 92-octane pump gas.
Them 300 hp on $3-a-gallon 100 octane race gas.

Us: Swapping stock 14 inch wheels for 17's to clear trick brakes and suspension.
Them: Swapping stock 14-inch wheels for 20s despite stock brakes and suspension.

Us: boost guage on a blown car, nitrous guage on a squeezed car.
Them: Both guages on a naturally aspirated car.

Us: 500-lb.-ft. of torque at 3,500 rpm.
Them: 50-lb-ft of torque at 35,000 rpm.

Us: Functional air ducts to cool the big block.
Them: Six different "cosmetic" air dams in random locations.

Us: polishes taillight lenses to bring out the red color.
Them: Installing clear taillights to bait cops.

Us: Headers and 3-inch exhaust.
Them: stock peashooter exhaust pipe with 5-inch tip.

Us: 600 hp makes for a earth shattering street car.
Them: 600 watts per channel makes for an ear shattering street car.

Us: Buying an aftermarket shifter for chorter throws.
Them: Buying an aftermarket shifter for the lighted knob.

Us: Cruising and burnout contests at car shows.
Them: Disco dancing and stereo competitions at car shows.

Us: Old tech pushrod Chevy LS6 pushing 405 hp.
Them: State of the art, dual overhead cam Honda VTEC pushing 180 hp.

Us: Nitrous Oxide
Them: NOS
We've had that dicussion before havent we.

Us: Tach mounted on the dash in the drivers line of sight.
Them: Bobbibg head doll mounted on the dash int hte drivers line of sight.

Us: Race-class lettering on the rear window.
Them: Japanese "Honda" lettering the rear window of a Nissan.

Us: Installing a 12-point after breaking into the 11's
Them: Installing a 12-point cage for more places to mount guages.

Us: Feeling the car shake from a lumpy cam.
Them: Feeling the car shake from the booming bass.

Us: Doing a short burnout to warm the tires before a pass.
Them: WEaving side to side because the Nascar guys do it.

Us: Comfy stock bucket seats in a 9-secong street car.
Them: Back breaking fiberglass seats in a 17-second street car.

Us: Spending $2,000 to get a new Z28 into the 11's.
Them: Spending $10,000 to get a Civic into the 12's.

Us: Leaving on the third amber light at the strip.
Them: Blowing through red lights on the street.

Us: Annoying blind spot caused by the cowl hood.
Them. Annoying blind sposts caused by the limo-tinted windows and triple deck rear wing.

Us: Installing sub-frame connectors to stiffen the chassis.
Them: Conecting the subframes wiht neon lights.

Us: Throttle steer.
Them: Torque steer.

Us: Showing off a 500-hp dyno sheet.
Them: Bosting about their 150-hp mill makes more hp/liter.

And thats all folks. Some of those are so true it isnt funny. YOu should pick up the magizine though, there is a decent article on big-blocks.