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05-10-2002, 12:48 AM | #1 |
Registered Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The Great State of Indiana
Posts: 353
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Beware of snakes(funny)
Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass
snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Rockwall, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he'd had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital at Garland. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbour man, seeing her lying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbour's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it would need stitches. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbour lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who, startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire. Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire-truck had started raising its ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area of south Rockwall along Texas State Route 205. Time passed .......... Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was re-built, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world ..... About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night. She shot him.. |
05-10-2002, 01:22 AM | #2 |
He said Member...heh, heh
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Jupiter, Florida U.S.A.
Posts: 3,718
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ROFL!!!
That'd make for a good mini-movie! I'd pay to see it!
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Joe! 1988 GT, 13.58@101mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com |
05-10-2002, 01:56 AM | #3 |
Not broken anymore!
Join Date: May 2001
Location: La Porte, TEXASS :)
Posts: 1,963
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LMFAO!!!! ~~~~ONLY IN TEXA$$~~~~ hahahhh! Hey Kelly, did you ever get tickets to see Kid Rock this weekend? If ya did, pinch his ***** for me! hahahah Looks like I'll be trying to get my house in order this weekend!
I'm getting Stones Tickets for Jan. They go on sale June 1st...ya interested???? heheh TNT
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R.I.P. my Kinde..Jan. 19,1992-Aug. 22, 2003. Shes Cruisin' doggie heaven in a Blown Verte or a GTO!!! 2005 ROUSH GT Verte SuperStallions of the Net Feature, May 2002 RICE HATERS CLUB MEMBER #38!! O.B.C #5..thank you!! I feel so priveledged!! BONE STOCK~ Hell, its a ROUSH! |
05-10-2002, 07:46 AM | #4 |
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Sale Creek, TN. C. S. A.
Posts: 4,652
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oh man, lmao that is hilarious, heheh
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95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow. 04 sonic blue v - six my beater 89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride 84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc 65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020. black 00gt, gone but never forgotten. R H C- member # 1 o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask. goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03 |
05-10-2002, 11:39 AM | #5 |
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Columbus, MS
Posts: 324
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That was pretty good! Appreciate the laughs Kelly.
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-Ian Christopher -84 VW Vanagon (Stock so far but it barks 3rd ) -67 Dodge Polara (383 punched 30, Heavy head work, Mopar Performance single plane intake, Holley 750, electric fuel pump, Holley regulator, .484 duration cam, FRIED bottom end!) DOH!!! Fried the #1 rod bearing. Stroker kit coming! -01 Kawasaki Ninja 250 (Clear lenses, shaved fender, rear signals in the rear housing, baffles removed, Deals Gap dragon on the tail.) |
05-10-2002, 05:22 PM | #6 |
Registered Member
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Kelowna BC, Canada
Posts: 82
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It's fake as heck but still funny! Good one Kelly!
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05-10-2002, 08:59 PM | #7 |
DURKA DURKA!!
Join Date: Sep 1997
Location: Lubbock, TX...(TX panhandle)
Posts: 1,418
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TNT,
Just curious about something. I've noticed on many posts that you spell Texas with two s's. I have nothing better to wonder about now that I'm done with finals, so thought I'd ask . Just a freindly querry from one Texan to another. --nathan
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'91 GT, Coast 347, 9.5:1 compression, full intake, Wolverine 1087 cam, exhaust, Keith Craft ported Windsor Jr. Irons (235 cfm intake, 195 cfm exhaust), AOD, PI 3500 converter, Lentech valve body, 3.73's (4.10's in the works), and Yokohama ES100's out back. Daily Car: '04 Infiniti G35 Sedan 6MT |
05-11-2002, 10:57 AM | #8 |
Not broken anymore!
Join Date: May 2001
Location: La Porte, TEXASS :)
Posts: 1,963
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hahahah!
Hey Nathan,
You know I was wondering about that myself...if I remember right I've had people post to me and they would put two s's in the Texas and I guess I kinda picked up on it. Maybe they were trying to tell me i"m an ***** ? Dunno???? lol... I think they were people I still talk to. I cant remember exactly. But I guess thats the best explaination I can come up w/ .....It just kinda became a habit w/ me. Hope that helped?
__________________
R.I.P. my Kinde..Jan. 19,1992-Aug. 22, 2003. Shes Cruisin' doggie heaven in a Blown Verte or a GTO!!! 2005 ROUSH GT Verte SuperStallions of the Net Feature, May 2002 RICE HATERS CLUB MEMBER #38!! O.B.C #5..thank you!! I feel so priveledged!! BONE STOCK~ Hell, its a ROUSH! |
05-11-2002, 11:04 AM | #9 |
Get down.....
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Room 103
Posts: 2,095
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it would be even funnier if it was real! that was good!
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Cobra brakes are on! Finally..... ------------------------------------------------ |
05-11-2002, 11:05 AM | #10 |
DURKA DURKA!!
Join Date: Sep 1997
Location: Lubbock, TX...(TX panhandle)
Posts: 1,418
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LOL!!
No problem, TNT. I was just curious. I didn't figure you were a disgruntled Texan trying to put the ***** back in Texas. --nathan
__________________
'91 GT, Coast 347, 9.5:1 compression, full intake, Wolverine 1087 cam, exhaust, Keith Craft ported Windsor Jr. Irons (235 cfm intake, 195 cfm exhaust), AOD, PI 3500 converter, Lentech valve body, 3.73's (4.10's in the works), and Yokohama ES100's out back. Daily Car: '04 Infiniti G35 Sedan 6MT |
05-11-2002, 11:09 AM | #11 |
Not broken anymore!
Join Date: May 2001
Location: La Porte, TEXASS :)
Posts: 1,963
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lol
LOL NATHAN..
Quite the contrary, I"d say! No disgrunteled Texan here! TNT
__________________
R.I.P. my Kinde..Jan. 19,1992-Aug. 22, 2003. Shes Cruisin' doggie heaven in a Blown Verte or a GTO!!! 2005 ROUSH GT Verte SuperStallions of the Net Feature, May 2002 RICE HATERS CLUB MEMBER #38!! O.B.C #5..thank you!! I feel so priveledged!! BONE STOCK~ Hell, its a ROUSH! |
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