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09-06-2002, 05:16 PM | #1 |
The Brit!
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Across the Pond!
Posts: 694
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Ever wonder why?
EVER WONDER ~~~~
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes ? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? ~~~~~ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a sug gestion.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) O n an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) |
09-06-2002, 05:20 PM | #2 | |
Registered Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 2,325
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Quote:
__________________
1997 Mustang GT "The Freak" - 13.80 @ 101.70, 2.07 60' 1995 Honda VFR750 - not much @ really fast (actual data pending.) 1964.5 Mustang 289 Rice Haters Club Member #13 |
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09-06-2002, 07:53 PM | #3 |
Registered Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 510
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LMAO yup those were great I like the last one I can see guys doing that !!!! heheeee
See Ya, Karen
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Karen Wells, Moderator The Mustang Works Magazine http://www.mustangworks.com 1969 Mustang (Project Rice Eater) 1999 Silver Mustang Saleen S281 (SQ car for stereo contests) SQ Goddess My Stereo Bro "tireburner163" |
09-07-2002, 04:03 AM | #4 |
IRAQ VET
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: high desert California
Posts: 1,480
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That last one must have happened to someone before. Damn i don't even want to think about that.
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09-07-2002, 04:21 AM | #5 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Ventura, California
Posts: 8,981
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Well, I hadn't wondered about those things, but I'm sure I will now.
Take care, ~Chris
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Webmaster: Rice Haters Club Jim Porter Racing Peckerwoods Pit Stop Support Your Local
RED & WHITE! |
09-07-2002, 10:49 AM | #6 |
Registered Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Sherwood, Arkansas
Posts: 238
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Those definitely make you think..... Wow.
Those were too funny. C-ya, Melisa
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2002 Mustang V6 Convertible Laser Red Tint with Borla exhaust, K & N filter, ground effects, light bar, 17" bright chrome wheels, low profile tires, window tint, billett grille, aluminum fuel door |
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