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Old 05-20-2005, 08:36 PM   #1
RBatson
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Default Re: Before I marry

I'm glad someone else said something opposing to what I said. There needs to be two contrasting views shown but.. I've had a year of seperation to think about this subject and I've thought about it alot. I came to the conclusion that love is not a contract, it doesn't want. There is nothing that marriage can add to love that money can't buy... and money isn't love. Marriage is indeed a contract, go talk with a divorce lawyer and you will see what I mean.


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Originally Posted by Mr 5 0
Unrealistic expectations going into marriage is a large part of the divorce problem, along with too-easy divorce laws and an attitude of 'I'll try this and see if it works', often secretly thought while pledging your love to another 'until death do you part', which dooms the chances of a successful marriage right from the beginning.

I wish you well, Rick but I do not accept your take on 'what marriage is', however, as you are divorced and I'm happily married, I think my take may be a tad more realistic.
I agree with you about the unrealistic expectations and the general acceptance of divorce today playing a major role. Everyone is waiting for the perfect person but no one seems to realize there is no perfect person. The opportunist don't help the matter any.

I never expected I'd ever get divorced but it became painfully obvious it was something I would be unable to avoid after the marriage. That fact that you are happily married(congrats!) and I am recently divorced doesn't make your view any more realistic than mine, in fact I feel its just the opposite. I feel my view of 'marriage today' is more realistic. Being married doesn't make you love each other any more or less.

I wish you the best too, Jim.
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Old 05-21-2005, 07:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: Before I marry

This is the best thread I've seen in a while! Good opinions and views!
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Old 06-02-2005, 09:14 PM   #3
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Default Re: Before I marry

So I guess my question for every one is if you and your x-spouse still love each other, can things be fix and start over knowing the mistakes that both have made? I guess acting more intelligent this time then getting so caught in the love feeling.
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Old 06-03-2005, 05:31 AM   #4
RBatson
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Default Re: Before I marry

Stranger things have happened.
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Old 06-04-2005, 09:15 AM   #5
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Default Re: Before I marry

I am truly sorry for you. It sounds like the guy was under a lot of stress and probably acting some ways that he normally would not have under normal circumstances. I am sorry that you had to be sorta, "the punching bag". I am sure after things settle down, he will look back with regret. I think everyone after a certain time can look back and see the mistakes they made. That is growth and good for you so you don't make the same mistakes twice. You said in the end you realized where you or who you belong with and that is the most important thing. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. You might not see it at first, but you will eventually see it. So please, for your sake let the bitterness go so you don't make the person you are with pay for the mistakes of the last guy you were with. Good luck and some of these post have been pretty good.
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