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Old 08-13-2002, 09:15 PM   #41
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The breed. LOL!!! I'm sorry, I had to pick myself up off the floor after reading that. Bradley, i think you may have some issues. LOL.



Take care,
~Chris
Its taken you this long to figure out I got issues. I know I have some serious issues. I dont deny it, I need to get a handle on things but its hard. Been single for almost 5 years. Got hurt bad. Been walked on hard ever since and dont trust any of em. From my experiences ( and dont flame me for this, Im just giving you some prespective into my knowledge ) women are for the most part, evil, back-stabbing, and kenieving. They all plot against men for there own personal growth. I honestly have only talked to two women ( one from this site, and you know who you are. ) that are ever willing to comprimise on anything. Its thier way or the highway. Well what about my way ******. I dont bust my *** all day just to make sure you've got nice things just ot ge walked on all night because I left the toilet seat up. Shut up, I dont wanna hear it. I comprimise everyday, at work, at home. and what hsa it gotten me, JACK ****.. thats what. So when some ( and I say SOME becuase I havent met a lady yet ) of you get off your high horse and are ready for something meaningful and honest let me know. Until then quit bitching.

Sorry

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Old 08-13-2002, 09:22 PM   #42
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Originally posted by PKRWUD


AHHHhhhhh. I see.

Wrong.

That goes with the assumption that everyone wants to be married. I have seen WAY TOO MANY really good friendships get wrecked due to marriage. I am very single, and very happy about it. I have been for the better part of the last 3 years. There has been a speed bump or two, but for the most part it has been the happiest I have ever been. I spent years believing that the only way I could truly be happy would be to get married, but I don't believe that at all anymore. I see marriage as a sacrifice that is made to procreate, and not much more. The first 2-4 years can be great, but then the reality sets in.

This is going to piss some people off, but I see marriage in a very similar light as I see religion, alcohol and drugs; as a crutch for people who are afraid of being alone.



Take care,
~Chris
I guess what I was trying to say is, "whatever works for you, it's not easy, if it is going to happen, it will".

Single life could be good, but I guess I'm happy being married. If I wasn't I'd be broke, but I'd have a 10 second mustang in the driveway right now
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Old 08-13-2002, 09:52 PM   #43
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I guess what I was trying to say is, "whatever works for you, it's not easy, if it is going to happen, it will".

Single life could be good, but I guess I'm happy being married. If I wasn't I'd be broke, but I'd have a 10 second mustang in the driveway right now
I didn't mean that to sound harsh, I was smiling as I was typing it. You're right, though; different strokes for different folks. I am always happy for anybody that finds something in life that makes them feel happy and complete, including religion, alcohol, drugs, or marriage. Or for that matter, cars, or football, or antique shopping, or even Sprint car racing. If it works for you, AWESOME!!!! I just haven't been "lucky" enough to find the level of joy that you have. I am the happiest I have ever been, though, so I'm really planning on keeping things this way. Maybe that means that I really do have a deep seated fear of committment, I don't know. I do know that for the most part, life is good right now, so I'm just enjoying the ride.



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Old 08-13-2002, 09:55 PM   #44
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Its taken you this long to figure out I got issues. I know I have some serious issues. I dont deny it, I need to get a handle on things but its hard. Been single for almost 5 years. Got hurt bad. Been walked on hard ever since and dont trust any of em. From my experiences ( and dont flame me for this, Im just giving you some prespective into my knowledge ) women are for the most part, evil, back-stabbing, and kenieving. They all plot against men for there own personal growth. I honestly have only talked to two women ( one from this site, and you know who you are. ) that are ever willing to comprimise on anything. Its thier way or the highway. Well what about my way ******. I dont bust my *** all day just to make sure you've got nice things just ot ge walked on all night because I left the toilet seat up. Shut up, I dont wanna hear it. I comprimise everyday, at work, at home. and what hsa it gotten me, JACK ****.. thats what. So when some ( and I say SOME becuase I havent met a lady yet ) of you get off your high horse and are ready for something meaningful and honest let me know. Until then quit bitching.

Sorry

Bradley
Hey Bro, I hear ya. Don't ever appologize for your life experience. If anyone should appologize, it's the person that is too narrow-minded to understand that you have your reasons for feeling the way you do. Just remember that NO ONE PERSON is 100% right, ALL the time, besides me of course.

Take care,
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Old 08-13-2002, 10:04 PM   #45
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Originally posted by PKRWUD


AHHHhhhhh. I see.

Wrong.

That goes with the assumption that everyone wants to be married. I have seen WAY TOO MANY really good friendships get wrecked due to marriage. I am very single, and very happy about it. I have been for the better part of the last 3 years. There has been a speed bump or two, but for the most part it has been the happiest I have ever been. I spent years believing that the only way I could truly be happy would be to get married, but I don't believe that at all anymore. I see marriage as a sacrifice that is made to procreate, and not much more. The first 2-4 years can be great, but then the reality sets in.

This is going to piss some people off, but I see marriage in a very similar light as I see religion, alcohol and drugs; as a crutch for people who are afraid of being alone.



Take care,
~Chris

well honestly I am only 18 so i really cant say much in this topic...but i dont think of it as a crutch for all...i do see lots of people get into relationship, no matter how crappy, and stick with it because they could never be without someone...i honestly loved being single throughout most of highschool, with the occasional girl n such, but i spent my senior year with my current girlfriend and am continuing to be with her through college (both going to UF)...now im not afraid to be without someone...her and i just really click...we were friends long before we went out too...all our relationship has done is brought us closer...so i guess nearly every situation varies and will have a different outcome...it is all about finding one of those few people out there that will make you truly happy and her truly happy...maybe we should feel sorry for and envy chris at the same time...lol ...as i said though...i'm 18 so i dont have decades of experience like some people on the boards...

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Old 08-13-2002, 10:05 PM   #46
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Originally posted by 95mustanggt
Single life could be good, but I guess I'm happy being married. If I wasn't I'd be broke, but I'd have a 10 second mustang in the driveway right now
that may be why you would be broke? hehe...
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Old 08-14-2002, 12:06 AM   #47
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I don't really think it's all about age, of course. My parents first started dating when my mom was a junior or senior in high school. They were married when my mom was 18 (dad was 21) and my sister was born 4 months after they were married (Shame on them, pre-marital sex...hehe...they tried using the whole 'pre-marital' thing against me, but that got shoved down their throat pretty quickly, hehe....ANYWAYS.....). They have been married for....ummm....counting....24 years now. I don't think relationships that started that early usually last that long, but hey, it's possible. There's proof.

Sam- I know you don't think that age really has ANY thing to do with it, but in your case, I think it does--on your ex's part AND your part. We're like the exact same age, and I've been in similar situations as to what you're in right now. My current girlfriend and I started dating 4 years ago. We have not been together that whole time, but a majority of it we have. I have a GREAT question for you, that I think describes your whole situation. I'm not meaning to sound like a dick or anything, don't take it that way.

Do you love her because you need her? Or do you need her because you love her?

I think you have clung to her, you got attached, and you got obsessed (been there done that) with her. You felt like you needed her because you loved her. But really, you loved her because you needed her.

Another thing, I think you overuse and maybe don't comprehend true 'love'. That could use it's own huge debate. Define 'true love'. Kind of like defining 'cheating'.

I love my girlfriend, I definitely love her with all my heart. Am I in love with her? Possibly. Definitely? No. Do I think she's the one? No, I know she's not the one I will marry, at least not how I feel about her right now. She's great, she's honest, she's beautiful, etc. etc. etc. Is she the one? Doubtful. I have fun with her, everything is good. But we both have college to go through and we will both go our separate ways eventually. But now we're living for the moment, we don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves.

I am not afraid of being alone. Actually, I'm a very solitary kind of person. I enjoy spending time alone, I prefer it sometimes. I will not commit myself to spending the rest of my life with someone I don't have 'the perfect feeling' about. What is this feeling? I do not know. I don't plan on knowing until I feel it. If I never get that feeling, then I won't commit myself to marriage or a serious long term relationship. That's that.

Sam, don't take my comments the wrong way. I think you're a pretty cool guy and you've gone through some tough ****. I know what it's like and it sucks. You have been handling it good though, man.

Well, sorry if I sounded a little redundant with someone else's posts. I just kind of skimmed the thread. Peace.

-Ben
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Old 08-14-2002, 12:10 AM   #48
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Sorry Sam that really bites! I am not going to give you any advice because I am clueless myself and I am 24!! Kindof sounds like your girl is teasin ya though kissing you every now and then and then going off with another!! Hope you find someone who will love you unconditionally and respect you for who you are!
Bye,
Karen
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Old 08-14-2002, 07:56 AM   #49
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Originally posted by PKRWUD
......I am always happy for anybody that finds something in life that makes them feel happy and complete, including religion, alcohol, drugs, or marriage......
LMAO, oh that's awesome, where do you keep coming up with these?!?

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Old 08-14-2002, 10:08 AM   #50
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Originally posted by PKRWUD

Just remember that NO ONE PERSON is 100% right, ALL the time, besides me of course.
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And me!
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Old 08-14-2002, 06:18 PM   #51
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Originally posted by 6T9PONY
I don't really think it's all about age, of course. My parents first started dating when my mom was a junior or senior in high school. They were married when my mom was 18 (dad was 21) and my sister was born 4 months after they were married (Shame on them, pre-marital sex...hehe...they tried using the whole 'pre-marital' thing against me, but that got shoved down their throat pretty quickly, hehe....ANYWAYS.....). They have been married for....ummm....counting....24 years now. I don't think relationships that started that early usually last that long, but hey, it's possible. There's proof.

Sam- I know you don't think that age really has ANY thing to do with it, but in your case, I think it does--on your ex's part AND your part. We're like the exact same age, and I've been in similar situations as to what you're in right now. My current girlfriend and I started dating 4 years ago. We have not been together that whole time, but a majority of it we have. I have a GREAT question for you, that I think describes your whole situation. I'm not meaning to sound like a dick or anything, don't take it that way.

Do you love her because you need her? Or do you need her because you love her?

I think you have clung to her, you got attached, and you got obsessed (been there done that) with her. You felt like you needed her because you loved her. But really, you loved her because you needed her.

Another thing, I think you overuse and maybe don't comprehend true 'love'. That could use it's own huge debate. Define 'true love'. Kind of like defining 'cheating'.

I love my girlfriend, I definitely love her with all my heart. Am I in love with her? Possibly. Definitely? No. Do I think she's the one? No, I know she's not the one I will marry, at least not how I feel about her right now. She's great, she's honest, she's beautiful, etc. etc. etc. Is she the one? Doubtful. I have fun with her, everything is good. But we both have college to go through and we will both go our separate ways eventually. But now we're living for the moment, we don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves.

I am not afraid of being alone. Actually, I'm a very solitary kind of person. I enjoy spending time alone, I prefer it sometimes. I will not commit myself to spending the rest of my life with someone I don't have 'the perfect feeling' about. What is this feeling? I do not know. I don't plan on knowing until I feel it. If I never get that feeling, then I won't commit myself to marriage or a serious long term relationship. That's that.

Sam, don't take my comments the wrong way. I think you're a pretty cool guy and you've gone through some tough ****. I know what it's like and it sucks. You have been handling it good though, man.

Well, sorry if I sounded a little redundant with someone else's posts. I just kind of skimmed the thread. Peace.

-Ben
What you said makes alot of sense. I get what your all saying, I just really got attached to her. She seemed like the only person in my life that I could talk to about anything, the only person that would understand me, the one person I could always fall back no matter what was going on. But **** has changed, I made a tough choice tonight (well to me atleast) I told her 2 days ago that I didn't want to really be friends anymore, although we still talk alittle bit. Anyway my dad is helping her dad with redoing his kitchen yadada and so he just left to go and I stayed home. This is the first time I've had a chance to see her and turned it down cause I didn't want too and really stuck to it. I know she will be sad and all but after all the pain I went threw she can deal with some too. Anyway, I guess my life has to progress. My car is in the shop getting a new intake, ignition, and having the carb rebuilt, and everything setup so I can go faster. I'm hoping to go out with this one girl when I get my car back Friday. Just friends but she seems like an amazing girl. I'm not looking for a g/f, just a good female friend to have in my life (Sorry, my guy friends arn't always easy to talk too).

And Chris you should be a comedian.
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Old 08-15-2002, 01:14 AM   #52
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Good for you, Sam, I'm glad you had the balls to move on. That's really hard, and I know it will be the best choice for you. Good luck to you dude, It sure is hard, huh?
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Old 08-15-2002, 06:36 AM   #53
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It sure is hard, huh?
Every damn morning.



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Old 08-15-2002, 01:08 PM   #54
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Originally posted by PKRWUD


Every damn morning.



Take care,
~Chris
TMI, my friend, TMI!!!!
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Old 08-15-2002, 06:26 PM   #55
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Originally posted by PKRWUD


Every damn morning.



Take care,
~Chris
I'm not sure I wanted to know that from a single guy that lives with his 7 cats.....

Take it easy bud,
§am.
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