Financial terms explained.

The Deuce · 10-09-2002, 04:57 PM

MODERN FINANCIAL TERMS, EXPLAINED: (Part 1 of 3)
EBIT—earnings before irregularities and tampering.
CEO—chief embezzlement officer.
CFO—corporate fraud officer.
NAV—normal Anderson valuation.
P/E—parole entitlement.
EPS—eventual prison sentence.
BULL MARKET—A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET—A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

MODERN FINANCIAL TERMS, EXPLAINED: (Part 2 of 3)
MOMENTUM INVESTING—The fine art of buying high and selling low.
VALUE INVESTING—The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO—The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER—What my broker has made me.
“BUY, BUY” - - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.
STANDARD & POOR—Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST—Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

MODERN FINANCIAL TERMS, EXPLAINED: (Part 3 of 3)
STOCK SPLIT—When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally...between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER—A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
MARKET CORRECTION—The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW—The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO! -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you’re the sucker that bought Yahoo @$240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR—Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT—Religious guy who talks to God.

jj_jonathon · 10-09-2002, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Deuce
PROFIT—Religious guy who talks to God.

This last one was the funniest because you just don't expect it

this is not cbring · 10-09-2002, 05:39 PM

MidNiteBlu 5.0 · 10-10-2002, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by this is not cbring

hahahaha. jk

jj_jonathon · 10-10-2002, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by this is not cbring

i dont understand your reaction

...sad joke?

this is not cbring · 10-10-2002, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jj_jonathon
i dont understand your reaction ...sad joke?

my badge from work has the phrase "Financial Counselor" under my name

jj_jonathon · 10-10-2002, 01:04 PM

oh, lol....

so youre considering yourself to be the guy who remembers his wallet when he goes to the 7-11? because i see nothing closer

10-09-2002, 04:57 PM	#1
The Deuce Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 2,325	Financial terms explained. MODERN FINANCIAL TERMS, EXPLAINED: (Part 1 of 3) EBIT—earnings before irregularities and tampering. CEO—chief embezzlement officer. CFO—corporate fraud officer. NAV—normal Anderson valuation. P/E—parole entitlement. EPS—eventual prison sentence. BULL MARKET—A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET—A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. MODERN FINANCIAL TERMS, EXPLAINED: (Part 2 of 3) MOMENTUM INVESTING—The fine art of buying high and selling low. VALUE INVESTING—The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO—The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER—What my broker has made me. “BUY, BUY” - - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. STANDARD & POOR—Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST—Idiot who just downgraded your stock. MODERN FINANCIAL TERMS, EXPLAINED: (Part 3 of 3) STOCK SPLIT—When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally...between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER—A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes. MARKET CORRECTION—The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW—The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO! -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you’re the sucker that bought Yahoo @$240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR—Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT—Religious guy who talks to God. __________________ 1997 Mustang GT "The Freak" - 13.80 @ 101.70, 2.07 60' 1995 Honda VFR750 - not much @ really fast (actual data pending.) 1964.5 Mustang 289 Rice Haters Club Member #13

10-09-2002, 05:39 PM	#3
this is not cbring Registered Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 380	__________________ 2002 vw gti 1.8T

10-10-2002, 01:04 PM	#7
jj_jonathon Trisket Join Date: May 2002 Location: University of Florida, FL Posts: ½ Posts: 1,560	oh, lol.... so youre considering yourself to be the guy who remembers his wallet when he goes to the 7-11? because i see nothing closer __________________ University of Florida - Physics Major My 02GT vert Media Center Pics BBK Underdrive Pulleys \| K&N FIPK (Gen II) \| Bullet Grille \| Mach 1 Chin Spoiler \| UPR Interior Parts \| XM Radio \| Audiobahn Subs Ricer Hater's Club Member #1/2 (30) http://www.ricehatersclub.com/

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