Important Disclaimer From Santa...

PKRWUD · 12-05-2002, 05:26 AM

From the desk of Santa Claus--

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi,Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us, such as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit-can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I heer'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Spins Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars colliding and crashing into each other.

And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus
Member of North American
Fairies and Elves, Union 1225

RedLilPony · 12-05-2002, 09:50 AM

Heeheeheee! I'll be sure to watch out for him!

1969Mach1 · 12-05-2002, 10:24 AM

lmao... I'm sure glad I live in Canada.. lol

§am.

MidNiteBlu 5.0 · 12-05-2002, 01:20 PM

hahaha Boss Hogg spins Christmans LMAO

jj_jonathon · 12-05-2002, 06:25 PM

...if hes from the south pole...why doesnt he serve south of the equator? were still closer to santa from here...he should serve chile and argentina...

H.T's83 · 12-05-2002, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jj_jonathon
...if hes from the south pole...why doesnt he serve south of the equator? were still closer to santa from here...he should serve chile and argentina...

Hey, boy! You messin' with Bubba? You keep dat up you gonna get no gun for Christmas!

PKRWUD · 12-05-2002, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jj_jonathon
...if hes from the south pole...why doesnt he serve south of the equator? were still closer to santa from here...he should serve chile and argentina...

Because 3/4 of the worlds population lives on this side of the equator, and because a bunch of faries negotiated the contract.

Silly boy.

Take care,
~Chris

MustangKelly96 · 12-06-2002, 03:24 AM

Sounds like my kind of guy!
Yee Haw!

DAN-MAN · 12-06-2002, 12:15 PM

Bubba Claus. Hell yeah! That's pretty cool.

Daniel.

jj_jonathon · 12-06-2002, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PKRWUD
Because 3/4 of the worlds population lives on this side of the equator, and because a bunch of faries negotiated the contract.

Silly boy.

Take care,
~Chris

yea...and at least half of them live on the other side of the world...lol...and they dont meet santa anyway...

Old man.

-jonathon

PKRWUD · 12-06-2002, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jj_jonathon
yea...and at least half of them live on the other side of the world...lol...and they dont meet santa anyway...

Old man.

-jonathon

Santa's cousins Sven Claus, Juan Claus, and Ho Wang Claus cover that side of the world.

Snot-nosed brat.

Take care,
~Chris

mustangman65_79 · 12-06-2002, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PKRWUD
Santa's cousins Sven Claus, Juan Claus, and Ho Wang Claus cover that side of the world.

Snot-nosed brat.

Take care,
~Chris

So what # cousins are they?

jj_jonathon · 12-06-2002, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PKRWUD
Santa's cousins Sven Claus, Juan Claus, and Ho Wang Claus cover that side of the world.

Snot-nosed brat.

Take care,
~Chris

its a good thing santa's parents werent jewish...

MissBlondie · 12-06-2002, 07:38 PM

Glad I live in a northern state!

PKRWUD · 12-06-2002, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mustangman65_79
So what # cousins are they?

I don't know. Check with their union.

69fastback · 12-06-2002, 10:56 PM

hey i dont' think this is a new contract I thought i seen buba cluase when i was stationed in Georgia. Might explain what i got for christmas that year.

12-05-2002, 05:26 AM	#1
PKRWUD Junior Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Ventura, California Posts: 8,981	Important Disclaimer From Santa... From the desk of Santa Claus-- I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi,Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us, such as: 1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit-can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I heer'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off." 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Spins Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars colliding and crashing into each other. And Finally, 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus Member of North American Fairies and Elves, Union 1225 __________________ Webmaster: Rice Haters Club Jim Porter Racing Peckerwoods Pit Stop Support Your Local RED & WHITE!

12-05-2002, 09:50 AM	#2
RedLilPony It's been awhile, huh? Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: I'm from Texas, Bitch! Posts: 505	Heeheeheee! I'll be sure to watch out for him! __________________ Jodi AKA RedLilPony Red 68 GT Fastback and Black 99 GT Coupe RedLilPony.com

12-05-2002, 10:24 AM	#3
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	lmao... I'm sure glad I live in Canada.. lol §am. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

12-05-2002, 01:20 PM	#4
MidNiteBlu 5.0 I got something to say Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 1,557	hahaha Boss Hogg spins Christmans LMAO __________________ 91 LX Hatch 5.0 - made for the twisties 89 LX Hatchback 5.0 5spd. stolen/stripped 4/7/05 http://www.mustangworks.com/cgi-bin/...splay.cgi?3494 1987 Toyota Pickup Ricer Haters Club Member #33 Want a custom gauge cluster for your Vintage Mustang? www.jmeenterprises.com

12-05-2002, 06:25 PM	#5
jj_jonathon Trisket Join Date: May 2002 Location: University of Florida, FL Posts: ½ Posts: 1,560	...if hes from the south pole...why doesnt he serve south of the equator? were still closer to santa from here...he should serve chile and argentina... __________________ University of Florida - Physics Major My 02GT vert Media Center Pics BBK Underdrive Pulleys \| K&N FIPK (Gen II) \| Bullet Grille \| Mach 1 Chin Spoiler \| UPR Interior Parts \| XM Radio \| Audiobahn Subs Ricer Hater's Club Member #1/2 (30) http://www.ricehatersclub.com/

12-06-2002, 03:24 AM	#8
MustangKelly96 Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Great State of Indiana Posts: 353	Sounds like my kind of guy! Yee Haw!

12-06-2002, 12:15 PM	#9
DAN-MAN Confederate Cowboy Join Date: May 2002 Location: Southeast Missouri Posts: 546	Bubba Claus. Hell yeah! That's pretty cool. Daniel. __________________ DAN-MAN RHC MEMBER #25

12-06-2002, 07:38 PM	#14
MissBlondie Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 335	Glad I live in a northern state! __________________ 2003 TrueBlue GT with a few fun things...

12-06-2002, 10:56 PM	#16
69fastback IRAQ VET Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: high desert California Posts: 1,480	hey i dont' think this is a new contract I thought i seen buba cluase when i was stationed in Georgia. Might explain what i got for christmas that year. __________________ 428 Cobra Jet SOHC 5.4 3V F-150 96 mystic cobra 91 GT

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Santa Claus	Mustang_289	Windsor Power	0	12-14-2003 07:19 AM
Took SANTA for a ride last nite. lol	Topless In Texas	Blue Oval Lounge	7	12-11-2003 07:24 PM
Maybe its a good thing Santa isn't honest.	MTU 50	Blue Oval Lounge	6	12-13-2002 08:25 AM
street racing in santa rosa ca	tinner	Stang Stories	3	11-30-2001 12:38 PM
Important Exhaust Question - Please Read	sublimelax	Small Ponies	14	03-06-2001 10:14 PM