"Your too nice" Is this BAD to be these days?

I got home after all day shopping for Christmas gifts. I grab a bite to eat then call up this gal I've known for 3-4 yrs now and we talk about Christmas and what I bought today.

Then that's when she says to me "welp, you know you're just too nice of a guy" and shortly afterwards the conversation ended.

I guess I dunno if I should take this as a compliment or not? I've heard this throughout my life and sometimes I wonder if being a nice person isn't "socially accepted" anymore?

Maybe I'm making way too much outta this, but I've heard many people that have also been told they have this "Too nice of a guy" problem...and break up for this strange reason.

[mustangman65_79]

I have the same prob. It's kinda a bad thing, seems like u never get the women, it's that bad *** guy next to u that gets them all. Oh well, we'll find someone sooner or later; and we'll always be that guy down the road that the'll think of that "GOT AWAY" as they look down at their drunk "BAD ***" sittin in the chair.

*LOL*

Yup so true,thank you you put a smile on my face..

[Mustangbelle306]

Totally true, which makes me glad I realized this at the age of 20, and held on to the nicest guy that came my way. Sure we have our more sour moments, but I am sooooo glad I went with someone that actually treats me right (heaven forbid nowadays )

[mustangman65_79]

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one out there like this. It put a smile on my face, too.

[joe4speed]

It's true and it sucks!

You get the last laugh when they call you miserable saying how they should have stayed with you! That always feels good! Justice!

[Coupe Devil]

Great. I thought for a while I was the only one. We should start a support group or something for the "nice" guys around the world. I get sick and tired of all the low life bad-a$$' getiin the girl. I always think about that Toby Kieth song though, "How do ya like me know". I think that is kinda an anthem for the good guys left out there. Maybe the girl I want will see I am a nice guy and like that. I think part of that goodie two shoes girl wanting the bad guy is just to piss her parents off. Trust me, get in good with the parents and your set.

[Capri306]

Man-o-man, now you guys know the inspriation to Green Day's song, "Nice Guys Finish Last." I've been told this by only one girl I've dated. More or less, I've been seen as "compassionate", not "nice". Still working to find my inner Arse-hole. Is it possible not to have one? Hmmm......

THIS IS JUST A GENERALIZATION: Girls don't want the "nice guy". Ever. They want someone who is hard to get, kind of a jerk, and who gives the impression they're fine without anybody. That's why it's funny when I hear a girl ask, "why are guys such JERKS?!?!" I tell 'em, "because you like it." Then they get mad and realize I'm right.

Do you guys remember that one rent-a-fairy (or something) ad they had on the Man Show a while back? Haha, they show a scene in the bedroom, the husband and wife are....finished, then he calls over to the rental-dude and says, "here, YOU cuddle." OMG, laugh my arse off every time I see that.

Know what the worst thing in the world is? Getting thrown into that "FRIEND" category. By this description, your chances of ANYTHING happening just got flushed. For good.

What is it about us Mustang guys, or just us real car guys in general? Why do our hearts have to be so Goddamned big?

[Coupe Devil]

Originally posted by Capri306
Man-o-man, now you guys know the inspriation to Green Day's song, "Nice Guys Finish Last." I've been told this by only one girl I've dated. More or less, I've been seen as 'compassionate', not 'nice'. Still working to find my inner Arse-hole. Is it possible not to have one? Hmmm.....

What is it about us Mustang guys, or just us real car guys in general? Why do our hearts have to be so Goddamned big?

That song kicks serious A$S. Its a really cool tune.
Too bad it's the freakin truth. And I think our hearts are so big because we love horsepower. What women don't undersand that THERE IS ROOM IN THERE FOR THEM. I can love a woman just as much as my car, I think. I have never been in a relationship that was very meaningful in the first place. I have to find my inner bad-as$ myself. I have tried but to no avail.

My car is red and I am chasing a red-head. When I had my white'90 I was with a blonde. Is that a coincidence? The red-head's hair is dyed though. And my car has been painted. Cool huh? The guy she is with now is a "supposed" bad-a$$. He thinks he's a bad-a$$ anyway. She's tired of that crap and said she wants to meet an honest good guy.

In steps Brad.

[Mr 5 0]

I think pony_power_90 nailed it.

A lot of the attraction girls have to 'bad boys' comes from the desire to show the parents that 'Nobody tells them what to do'. Immature but normal behavior - guys do it too.

I think the element of 'danger' is also attractive and as was also stated, the 'Hard to get/Don't give a damn about you' attitude the bad boys project seems to have a irrestible attraction for a lot of girls. Sad, but true. Probably something about the instinct to 'tame' men that women seem to have as some prehistoric remnent.

I think another factor is the ghetto-culture attitudes that have been on the rise for some time now. The female attraction to bums has always been there, it's just more evident and upscale, middle-class now, when in earlier times, only trailer trash-type girls really desired dopers, drunks and bums. Now, they seem to all like that type and a lot of guys fit the mold.

I'm no expert but when I was dating, I always had the best results when I played it very casual and wasn't always available. No one wants to look desperate and showing interest in a girl but having the patience to let her 'come to you' seems to work well - assuming (of course) the girl has any attraction to you in the first place.

I found out early that girls love - I mean really love - attention.
We're all somewhat insecure and paying attention to a girl - noticing her new hairstyle, clothes, whatever, is attractive to them and reassuring, too. Trick is to give the attention sparingly.
Be sincere but don't overdo it and be attentive, but not always available. Make the phone conversation 15 minutes, not three hours.

Again, I'm no expert on dating - or women - but these are personal observations from my own dating experience, which was fairly successful.

Maybe MustangBelle306 or some of our other savvy female members can give us more input and advice for the single guys.

[Coupe Devil]

Holy cow Mr 5 0 you should be one of those self help guru's or something man. Your responses are always deep and insightful. Darn, there I go sounding like a woman. Your right, Maybe Mustangbelle can shed some light onto this. She is always right. Not meaning to boost the ego or nothin but shes pretty well on every time.

Brad

Hey Guys, did you ever think that maybe its the girl and not you. I have seen a lot of my girl friends pick the bad *** and then they want to cry on my shoulder why, how come, whatzup did I do something wrong, instead of them taking a good look in the mirror and saying lord whats up with me I AM THE DUMB *** for wanting to be with that guy. Myself I think its a great quality to find a Nice Guy and I am lucky enough to have one, so you guys keep up being yourself. That is one of the reasons I look and read so many posts is because I think you are a group of really cool nice guys.

[hotrod_atv]

Hey, must be these Dakota girls. lol

I've got the same problem with girls telling me I'm too nice. In some cases I've found out that's not such a good thing but then again, it can also be a booster to your ego, you know?

[Mustangbelle306]

Awww you guys are the best I'm happy as long I can help shed some light on the mysteries of LOVE and WIMMINFOLK I've complied a NOVEL of my personal views on relationships and women...so if you feel like reading my "book", I'd love to have some feedback, even if you think I'm an utter idiot and should have my Mustang privelieges taken away from me:

The ghetto culture has most definetely ruined our youth: teaching young boys that it is ok to be a "player" and a "baller", and to use women as playthings instead of falling in love with them. It has taught little girls that its ok to become a gold digging cheap floozy that should see men as a way of support themselves instead of as someone to care for. Basically, true relationships are now "uncool", and using each other is "the in thing"

Basically we all have to take responsibility for the ever-increasing gender gap: each gender has contributed to the bitterness of the other in a trend that can be simplified as follows:

Nice boy meets bad girl(has been burned before by bad guy), bad girl breaks his heart. Nice boy is now bad, and turns around and hurts some other nice girl.

The most important factor in our downward spiral is IGNORANT MENTALITY: the blaming of an entire gender for the actions of a few. Despite getting burned, we can't rationally damn the whole sex for our misfortunes. The minute we become prejudiced based on gender is the minute that we close our eyes and hearts to the prospect of finding someone that JUST might treat our affections with the respect and care that they deserve.

I myself endured an abusive relationship for over 2 years, and had my heart ripped out by several guys in my short lifetime, but I've NEVER cast blame on the entire male population. If i would have done so, I would never have met the man who treats me like a princess and helped me open my heart to the REAL way women and men are supposed to love each other. And the really sad thing is, people make fun of us on a frequent basis because we are so into each other and laugh at how "sappy" we are because we treat each other with mutual love and respect

Ok, so we get to the good part: WHAT WOMEN(the good ones) WANT!

We want someone who can be sweet yet strong and brave...cuddle us in bed yet also stand up for our honor if it be tarnished by another.

We want someone who can perform manly duties, yet baby us when we need it most...fix our stupid cars when they break, and stroke our hair while we whine about our mean boss/coworker/friend

We want someone that will watch football AND tolerate our mothers when they come to visit, etc etc etc

Basically most women want exactly what men do: the best of both worlds. Men desire a woman that is feminine, yet doesn't mind getting down and dirty once in a while, right? Now of course you are going to run into the selfish brat that NEVER wants to comprimise and watch Monday Night Football with you, or just plain doesn't care and flirts with your best friend. THESE are the ones you need to dump, fast, and continue on your pursuit for your perfect gal with NO RESERVATIONS: the next girl didn't do anything to you, so why hold anything against her from the start?

I hope I may have helped at least one of you possibly understand some of the complexies that make women who they are. I wish ALL of you luck in love and in racing =P

[6T9PONY]

Wow.....changed some of my thoughts Belle...thanx!

[Mustangbelle306]

Originally posted by 6T9PONY
Wow.....changed some of my thoughts Belle...thanx!

You mean, you actually read it?? I assumed most people wouldn't take the time, but it came from my heart, so if at least ONE mwer read it, it was worth it

[1BAD89]

Very well composed Belle.

[6T9PONY]

Oh yeah, I definitely read that!!! Especially after reading some of your other posts on this board, like the ones on Mercury's thread about his chick last Saturday night. You can WRITE!!!!

[Mr 5 0]

Thank You, Mustangbell306!

Some great insights there that a lot of guys can appreciate.

Generalizing about the opposite sex is really ignorant, as each one of us is different and special in our own way.

Eventually, almost everyone gets hurt in relationships but that doesn't make all men/women rotten or someone to dump on to 'get back' at some long-gone boyfriend/girlfriend. Get real.

Guys that attempt to use (and talk about) women as a sex toy instead of a human being with wants, needs and special attributes only she has are foolish, at best.
That kind of ghetto attitude ("Gonna get me some pontang from that 'Ho") are stupid as well as offensive and make guys look like jerks - and that's being kind about it.

Women that tolerate being used like that in some misguided attempt to be wanted or noticed just perpetuate the downward spiral between the sexes.
The Madonna - Brittany Spears influence on young girls doesn't help any. Dressing and acting like a 'Ho' isn't sexy; it's cheap and encourages the disrespect many girls then complain about.


A 12-year-old guy sees the MTV videos with the guys all acting like tough gangstas and the women acting like 'ho's' with mindless sex the sole purpose of every meeting and in a few short years, too many try to adopt these roles in real life. I've seen it. Doesn't work too well as it subverts the real meaning of intimacy that's predicated on mutual affection and respect.

O.K., enough pontificating from me.

Hopefully, even more of our female members will add to Mustangbelle's thoughts as we can use all the help we can get.

[Mustangbelle306]

Originally posted by Mr 5 0


That kind of ghetto attitude ("Gonna get me some pontang from that 'Ho") are stupid as well as offensive and make guys look like jerks - and that's being kind about it.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "poontang" *mmmmph* what a terrible, yet hiraliously funny word