Left with no choice. . . .

[1969Mach1]

Ok this is just a vent and I dunno what anyone wants to say, I sit in a cube all day and I need to vent.
Ok way back in March I found out my g/f liked this guy, she called him sexxy and cute and yummy and said how she liked him. Yadayadayada. Anywho I broke up with her because of it, it really hurt what she wrote. They used to work together a movie theater, and one day I went to go see him just to talk to him and maybe try to figure out what the hell was going on here, so I tried talking to him and he acted like an ******* and wouldn't talk to me and just kept walking away when I tried talking to him, which just left my g/f telling me to leave him alone and me exploding and just took off. Anyway we got back together after a month and she said this was all over and it ment nothing and things were fine. Being the forgiving guy that I am I took her back and things have been fine since. Although he's come back in the scene, he tried going over to her house acouple weeks ago but couldn't find it, but emailed her and such saying he was coming down to see her (it's only like a 10 minute drive from each others house) so yeh the story goes on. Anyway I find a way threw my to much spare time an using little of great knowledge of computers to get her outgoing emails to this guy, so I always have a chance to see what she is writting (I know it's not right but I just want to know what is going on. Yeh I know I know I shouldn't be doing it but I want to know my condition of relationship). She told me that he emailed her awhile back and it was no big deal although it kinda brought back memories. so anyway I was talking to her today and she said he came to see her at work (he quit) and stuff and said that was the first time she talked to him in awhile although I know she's been emailing him a few times and invited him to come watch her soccer game this week (the only week I couldn't make it to her game). So now I'm on his website message board and this guy thinks I'm great I'm talking back and forth as an annon. person. Now get this, this guy has a V8 Mustang GT his mom just bought for him, and he's got a '70 Mustang Mach 1 428CJ. Now I feel totally in the shitter with my g/f. This guy has everything that I have and 10x better. a 428. God damit, I about snapped and bought a blower for my car today cause that pissed me off. So now I'm left with the option of trying to be this guys friend again. I told him we had to meet. So I'm going to get my g/f, my mustang and meet this guy with his mustang in a place. Tell netiher of them about what's going on and we'll see what the hell happens. Cause right now I'm going to blow up and explode. What is everyone's opinion. Sorry I'm wired, I'm so tired, this is driving me crazy and I just keep typing and typing. Be this guys friend or what? Ohh.. and he does have a g/f so I think I'm safe with my g/f. Look for my other thread I'm starting too.....

Thanks for reading and if you post a reply thanks.

Crazed and Confused
§am.

[Mr 5 0]

Sam:

You have a lot of choices but this one is a loser.

The ex-boyfriend and your girlfriend are both going to be annoyed with you, at best.

You're setting them up for some sort of weird confrontation where you've faked your relationship to him via the net and your g/f isn't going to be thrilled by pulling up some place and seeing her ex there and you as his new internet buddy.

It's all to weird and contrived and shows a lot of insecurity on your part in a lot of areas.

I would call this off and drop the internet buddy game with this guy real quick.

Put as much energy into your relationship with your girlfriend as you do into obsessing over this guy and his cars and you'll be a lot better off - and happier - in the long run.

[1969Mach1]

I wrote that when I was in a really crazy state. She never went out with this guy, she only liked him while we went out. And I believe she may still like him. And she wants to do stuff with him and he wants to do stuff with her they just never have time to do stuff together.
And trust me I do put alot of my time into my relationship. I work around the clock keeping this relationship alive. I talk to her like 2-3 hours on the phone. I drive to go see her (she does not drive) I pick her up from work sometimes if she has no ride, she comes over for dinner, we do everything together. If this guy never showed up our relationship could last a lifetime but it's this guy who worries me and she worries me. Yes I am very insecure, I worry alot especially when someone I love and care for very much and has spent my last 13 months with liked and could possibly still like another guy. I know it's hard to grasp the concept, but imagin you have a g/f or even if you want to take your wife. Put it like this, she has a guy friend at work. She tells him Your really sexxy and hot and yummy (she uses the word yummy?!?!) and you stumble appon this and inform her of it and she tells you it's nothing. Would you not be bothered? I know I'm crazy, and I admit it. I love my g/f and I will fight to keep her tell I reliese it's a fight that there I won't leave winning.

§am.

[The Deuce]

Back when I was in high school I had a Porsche and was dating this little red head. Everything kinda went sour my senior year and I broke up with her and had to sell the car to boot.

Damn, I miss that car.

[Mr 5 0]

1969Mach1:

I didn't mean to be harsh on you but when you ask for opinions here, be prepared that they won't all agree with everything you do or say.

Look, you claim that everything would be perfect with your girlfriend if it wasn't for this guy that she seems to be attracted to.

I doubt it.

Although you do seem to be working on your relationship with her one can even overdo that at some point. A little distance at times can be a good thing. Not a fight, just don't be available 24/7 or jump whenever she calls.

The fact that you feel insecure about her isn't a real good sign after 13 months of intense dating. The fact is that she's young and of course she's going to notice other guys. I've been married awhile and my wife still notices other guys and I notice other women. So what? We don't say much about it and we certainly don't do anything about it. We're human and it's just a fact of life. No big deal.

Don't obsess over this and understand that this may not be the girl for you, long-term. Frankly, your relationship sounds somewhat one-sided to me and it's mostly on your side. The hot remarks she sent to the guy are off-base and may be a sign that she's wandering off your personal reservation. It happens.

On the other hand, talk is cheap and many girls just like to keep some guy on the side interested to prove to themselves that they're attractive and desirable.

I don't know how this will end but you stand a very good chance of driving this girl away with your intensity and over-protectiveness. Then again, she may already be looking for greener grass. You need to find out.

Since you've been sneaky about getting info, I wouldn't reveal that to her (it's insulting and creepy) but I would try to have a heart-to-heart talk and let her know that you know about this guy and that it hurts you. She may be understanding or more likely, just laugh it off but you need to confront your fears and not drag the other guy into it and force her to be in an awkward situation. You could end up leaving alone.

Sorry if I can't be all positive for you but I'm offering you my opinion based on what I observe of your situation, as you've presented it here. I may well be wrong and hey, the advice is worth what you paid for it but still, I hope it all works out for you.

[Dark_5.0]

IMO.... If she is going to act like that cause a guy is "yummy". That is a huge sign in neon lights to move on. There will be other guys she thinks is cute in the future. How many times do you want to go through this?

What ever happens.
Good Luck,

[1969Mach1]

Well I guess I've officially become a Mustang owner. I now open my love to my car more then my g/f. Apparently the grass is greener on the other side. I read tonight that she is planning on breaking up with me and blaming it on she has lost her relationship with her friends. That is bs, her friends always used to leave her behind and did stuff with out her and I would always come to her rescue. This so much bull ****. I'm sorry I'm just really in a wreck right now. And also read how that guy she used to like she still likes him and he likes her and ****. This is bs, she is thinking of leaving me for another guy. I can't even express what I'm feeling cause it'll be a whole lotta astricts ************ those thingies. So looks like I was pretty much used for my money, and car, and my caring and being there when she needed me and now that a guy with more money, better looking, better cars (not that she cares overly much) but he has a car all to himself all the time too. She hasn't broken up with me yet but if it doesn't happen I will be left with no choice to do it, and sadly enough it won't be pretty. I never want to speak to her again, I love her so much and it hurts to say that but it hurts way more to know that this will keep on happening. I am young, I will survive this battle, have I learned anything. I'm going to say no cause if I'd to say yes it would be not to trust woman, but that is not the case. If anything, maybe to be more aware, play the cards alittle smoother and lay back and enjoy the single life for awhile. I will enjoy the love of my car. Mr 50 sorry I didn't mean a harsh reply, it's just been a tough week and I have a hard time handeling stuff. I really appreciate your response and everyone elses just please don't hold it agaist me if I snap. I can't even explain how much it hurts to find out someone you love and intended on spending your whole life with, that you cared and cherished threw anytime has now decided to leave you for someone else.

One Sad Mofo,
§am.

[Crazy Horse GT]

sam i know it hurt's & it cut's you to the bone, but take my word for it, as time passes it goes away, you are young, slow down man, you have plenty of time, you will find THE one if not now, then later, it happen's, enjoy being young, have fun while you can, or trade with me & just go to work everyday, come home, then go back to work, i hope everything work's out for you man, but a woman is going to do what they want to, you can't stop it, i got that attitude myself from a girl i went to school with, she was a good friend, & she taught me that trick, may she r.i.p. , but i alway's remember what she taught me, look out for #1, may sound cold, but it's true, but odie is my #1 now, take care bud cya.

[1969Mach1]

Thanks bud, I had a hard time sleeping last night. It's just the fact that she is leaving me for someone else. Can't even explain how much that hurts. I could see if things weren't working out. And it's how she is going to break up with me but acts like everything is perfectly fine and she's putting so much planning into this. I'm going to wait tell she breaks up with me before I say anything (she says she wants to take a break from each other but still do b/f and g/f things together she just wants to see other people too. ) but I'm going to tell her that it is over for good and it no longer works this way and I don't want to talk to her, or hear from her again. And not to call me, not to message me, not to stop by, I'm tired of being used and abused. All my friends would tell me I'm whipped and probably so, I just loved her so much that I would do anything for her, there wasn't a time where I would say no to her. And it's just the fact if I didn't find out on my own that she likes this guy and she is thinking of leaving me for this guy I would not even have the smallest clue. She acts like nothing is wrong, like nothing is happening and insures me everything is fine.

"For awhile I thought I would never love or hate anyone, but I have come to realize I have loved and hated the same person."
§am.

[Mr 5 0]

Sam:

Well, this sucks and you have my sympathy.

I had a strong suspicion that this was a relationship heading for the cliff but didn't know that and didn't want to be totally negative about your problems or the future of the relationship.

Frankly, this stuff happens. Guys seem to get way too involved with some girls when the girls just want to play around. Seems like the tables have turned these days.

In any case, you'll need to break it off clean, as you planned. No 'friend' crap. That usually translates to :"If my new guy bombs I can always use you again".

Do other stuff and time will heal you. Don't hate 'women'. 'Women' didn't mess with you, this one girl did. They aren't all like that. Just don't go so whole-hog over a girl so soon. Hold back a little and get to totally know who she is, and let her get to know you. The 24/7 stuff gets old fast and a lot of girls feel suffocated by it.

I love my wife but I don't spend every minute with her (and I could). We have separate interests - and friends - but we are there for each other every day...just not every minute of every day.

Your girlfriend is playing it coy because she doesn't want a big confrontation or to have to tell you the truth, which she knows will hurt you (another guy is more interesting). Girls always want to avoid scenes and looking bad by dumping the guy for another. It's normal. Guys are not above doing something similar. Get used to it.

Again, sorry about the impending breakup.

[1969Mach1]

Thanks Mr 50. Yeh I went to go see her and the guy was there that she likes. Amazingly at the same time she was going on break. Him... I wonder if she told him to come at that time. Anyway I couldn't break up with her at work, it would of been right. I'm waiting tell she gets home. I won't be a pillow and have her come back when things go bad with this guy. I told the guy on his msg board that we can't meet cause of complicated issues and gave him clues on who I was and told him what I drove. He was pretty freaked out when I knew his car and where he had some work done on it. I love cars and know all my local cars especially the Mustangs. But I told him I had no bad intentions and that I wished him best of luck for the future. When I seen her at work it was like it wasn't true, she acted like nothing was wrong and that everything was fine, she is just 2 faced I guess. The face that I never see cause it's always on the other side. Nothing like the love of my pony. =(

§am.

[PKRWUD]

Originally posted by 1969Mach1
I'm going to tell her that it is over for good and it no longer works this way and I don't want to talk to her, or hear from her again. And not to call me, not to message me, not to stop by, I'm tired of being used and abused.

Sam, that really is the best course of action to take, but it's going to be hard as hell. Just remember that people who love each other would never do anything to intentionally hurt them. This was a one way love, and you really are the better for letting her go. Life sucks sometimes, but I swear to you you'll find someone better, and life will be fun again.

Have I ever lied to you?



Take care,
~Chris

[1969Mach1]

Yeh I know Pkrwud but man it's really hard. I still love and care for her and it's hard to go on with out her. I havn't ate in anything in like 40 hours, I'm just not hungry. My mind is still set on this whole situation and how she is gone. She told me that she didn't like this guy and everything and I believe her in a way cause it's like she is two seperate people, 1 being the one I love and will always care for, and the one that I just happen to find stuff out about. Like liking someone else. It's like it's not true, so I'm so tempted to be back with her. It's really tough, I feel so torn apart right now like I just feel like driving tell I can drive no farther way from civilation. I'm just afraid of being alone, I love always talking to someone, and telling them how I feel and what's going on and I like to listen to people talk. Like on a 1 on 1 basis. Now it's like I'm all alone which is true. Guess I gotta get used to this feeling. I want her back but I'm too afraid this will happen again and I know I will always be paranoid of it happening. Guess it's time to move on and learn about the real world, it's cold and heartless and people just look after themselves.

Thanks for everyones input, it's greatly appreciated.
§am.

thats really crappy what has happened to you. i kinda know how you are feeling. my girlfriend of 4 years dumped me last week because she just feels that we are more like friends which is strange cause i don't sleep with my friends or do alot of stuff with my friends that i did with her. we still talk though which is good, but she still treats me like her boyfriend which is pretty awkward. but don't worry dude there will be a better girl out there, and she might be totally in to mustangs too. good luck dude and i hope things go good for you.

[Bake]

Sam buddy, i'm a guy so i can't really say this to your face (i dont know why, must be a guy thing) but im here for you if you ever need somone to talk to. if someone needs me im not as stupid and spaced out as i normaly am. Linden's ther for you too. if you need people to hang out with whenever, call us or something or just me or just linden. she is actually really good to talk to and we want to help ya man. And man, dont do anything stupid unless im in the car there with you so i can pull your burning *** carcass to safety when you roll that sucker like 50 times. Anyways time to think of a mocho ending so i dont look like a sap. umm. GO MUSTANGS!!

Well the point is. You have at least 2 people who will be there for you the second you need if you ask. Now lets go for lunch soon and get ya some food, or at least play with the Cobra R in GT3.
(just to get the irony out. im a guy and have trouble expressing my feelings face to face with another guy so im typing this message when sam is at his desk a whole, lemme check, 3 1/2 feet away ) Anyways the point going across im here for you.

[PKRWUD]

Originally posted by 1969Mach1
I still love and care for her and it's hard to go on with out her .... My mind is still set on this whole situation and how she is gone .... it's like she is two seperate people, 1 being the one I love and will always care for, and the one that I just happen to find stuff out about. Like liking someone else. It's like it's not true, so I'm so tempted to be back with her. It's really tough, I feel so torn apart right now...

Dude, believe me, I know your pain. You will go from being hurt to being angry to being confused, and back again. Eventually you will start feeling stupid. Trust me, YOU'RE NOT stupid!!! You're human, that's all. I know it's hard now, but it will get easier. It will take time, though. You do need to get out and socialize, though. Meeting other women will help a great deal.

Just hang in there, Sam. You'll make it. I know you will.



Take care,
~Chris

[joe4speed]

ugh... what is it with women nowadays.....? (not all, just most) For them, the grass IS always greener on the other side... they are constantly looking for bigger and better. I can't stand it. My only solace is knowing that when they're 40 and everything is hanging low and they have 4 kids, they will not have their pick anymore!
I feel for ya man... I have just gone through some crap too, and it hurts, but I know, as you do too, time makes it better. Keep busy, enjoy your new blower, and let her go. She doesn't deserve you.

[1969Mach1]

Thanks guys, my craziness is slowly wearing off. Guess it's a long journey that I gotta make it threw. I will be fine in the long run. I would never of thought of leaving her for another girl. I'm sure I could of picked up another girl but I didnt' even of that. Aslong as the 'grass' is there, I can work on it's colour from there. Joe4Speed, I don't think any guy understands woman. I just don't get it? You can give them the world and they will want the universe.

Less Crazy,
§am.

[PKRWUD]

Originally posted by 1969Mach1
I just don't get it? You can give them the world and they will want the universe.

They're not all that selfish, some just decide at some point that they'd rather have Mars.



Take care,
~Chris

[1969Mach1]

Yeh I know, not all are like that but to many of them are. I never understood that concept. I hate to have to wait tell I'm 40 and know that my wife is to ugly to cheat on me. I would rather be with someone that would just tell me the truth and be like, it's not working out I would rather see someone elsel. It would hurt still but it'd be less painful in the long run.

§am.