A Ricer's Kill Story...

Hammer · 09-01-2002, 09:40 PM

Found this over at dfwstangs.com...

A Ricer's Kill Story
I was drivin around minding my own bidness in my Civic DX bubbleback thats hooked up I got the windows tinted, chromed out everything. Even my hubcaps.. s**t they almost look like rims when im drivin. I pulled up at a stoplight next to my worst enemy... a domestic. I looked over, it had tennesee plates, flowmasters, big daisy musclecar wheels, big radials, nascar stickers, and rust spots. That s**t sounded mean, yeah... that was one fast lookin winnebago.
I cranked down my window and yelled at the big inbred southern hick. What you doin sucka? He tilted his orange hunting hat and said I'm movin . I told him that he would be movin a hell lot faster in a Honda. Thats when he started revvin his engine... man it sounded mean. d**n I wonder why hes even botherin to race... I guess he didnt see the Type R and GT-R badges I bought at pep boys.
I was a little worried at first cause my car aint that fast off the line, but I took a screwdriver and punched like thirty holes all over my rusty muffler to ease backpressure. So along with my aluminum wing I knew I had him on top end. I took my car out of drive into neutral and revved it up as high as it could go. I turned my upside down tennis visor backwards so it wouldnt obstruct my view of the road. Then I buckled my Type R yellow 4 point harness and sweated it out for the green.

BAMMMMM! The light wuz GREEN... All hell broke lose! I dropped it into drive and my tires almost screeched a little bit... I think. The winnebago was haulin butt though... BAMMM!!! I pretend to manually shift it into second. I gots the timing down now, so my pretend shifts are always on target with the real ones. s**t! That winnebago is dead even with me. I hear his revs rising and hes haulin butt. BAMMM!!! I pretend to shift it into third... s**t! bad pretend shift, he starts pullin on me so I make a pissed face and pretend to miss third. To make it worse... I hit a pothole and see one of my hubcaps fly off and hit his mobile home. ****! That s**t cost 6 dollars! Oh no... Im roundin out third and this guys still pullin hard Im almost at his bumper. I think really hard to myself What would the guy from The Fast and the Furious do? Oh YEAH! The little red button on my steering wheel. Hit the little red BUTTON!!!!! I reach down and hit the button!!! Oh ****! I dont have nitrous!

The little red button is only to turn on all fiftyseven of my custom smurf blue euro foglights!!! but this works to my advantage anyway, blinding the domestic redneck racer temporarily. My car hits fourth finally... I pull up to his rear quarterpanel while the blinded redneck fumbles around for his ZZ top ray ban's. I know Im gonna win now.YES! I pull past the redneck reaching the death defying speed of 55 miles per hour. Then throw on all 20 of my euro hazard lights!!!!! Whew... that was close! After this race I poked more holes into my muffler to make sure it wouldnt happen again. Chalk another one up for the CIVIC!!!

PKRWUD · 09-01-2002, 09:46 PM

ROFLMFAO!!!

That is pure poetry, and deserves to be published.

Thank you very much for sharing it!

Take care,
~Chris

Stang_Crazy · 09-01-2002, 09:52 PM

HAHAHAHA, That's such a good story!!! It touches on all of the ricer fads too

MidNiteBlu 5.0 · 09-01-2002, 09:54 PM

LMAO!!!! Excellent story there man! I was rollin the whole time

Crazy Horse GT · 09-01-2002, 10:03 PM

rotflmao, that should be the title page to the rice haters club, lol

Shelby428cj · 09-01-2002, 10:38 PM

ROTFLMFAO OOOOOOOO MY gawd that was awesome I agree with Marty we need that one on RHC!!!!!! LOL I think that would make a good rap song too!!!!

See Ya,
Karen

DAN-MAN · 09-01-2002, 10:49 PM

I'm surprised the hick didn't get the shotgun out and blow that Civic to pieces.

Dan.

mustangman65_79 · 09-02-2002, 12:24 AM

That was great, I love stories like that. Put that on a ricre fourm, and they will be yellin for the civic to go-lol

jj_jonathon · 09-02-2002, 01:44 AM

hey you guys, dont kid yourselves...those winnebagos can be pretty mean..im talking about a 24 second 1/4 mile here....now thats impressive on any standard....

1969Mach1 · 09-02-2002, 08:16 PM

hahahaha lmao.... I havn't been on the site for a few days but that was freakin' hillarious. Glad I didn't miss that one.

§am.

PKRWUD · 09-03-2002, 12:41 AM

I have copied this story, and posted it at the new RHC website. It should be up within 24 hours.

Take care,
~Chris

09-01-2002, 09:40 PM	#1
Hammer AKA "Dr. Evil" Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: South Fork Ranch Posts: 1,721	A Ricer's Kill Story... Found this over at dfwstangs.com... A Ricer's Kill Story I was drivin around minding my own bidness in my Civic DX bubbleback thats hooked up I got the windows tinted, chromed out everything. Even my hubcaps.. st they almost look like rims when im drivin. I pulled up at a stoplight next to my worst enemy... a domestic. I looked over, it had tennesee plates, flowmasters, big daisy musclecar wheels, big radials, nascar stickers, and rust spots. That st sounded mean, yeah... that was one fast lookin winnebago. I cranked down my window and yelled at the big inbred southern hick. What you doin sucka? He tilted his orange hunting hat and said I'm movin . I told him that he would be movin a hell lot faster in a Honda. Thats when he started revvin his engine... man it sounded mean. dn I wonder why hes even botherin to race... I guess he didnt see the Type R and GT-R badges I bought at pep boys. I was a little worried at first cause my car aint that fast off the line, but I took a screwdriver and punched like thirty holes all over my rusty muffler to ease backpressure. So along with my aluminum wing I knew I had him on top end. I took my car out of drive into neutral and revved it up as high as it could go. I turned my upside down tennis visor backwards so it wouldnt obstruct my view of the road. Then I buckled my Type R yellow 4 point harness and sweated it out for the green. BAMMMMM! The light wuz GREEN... All hell broke lose! I dropped it into drive and my tires almost screeched a little bit... I think. The winnebago was haulin butt though... BAMMM!!! I pretend to manually shift it into second. I gots the timing down now, so my pretend shifts are always on target with the real ones. st! That winnebago is dead even with me. I hear his revs rising and hes haulin butt. BAMMM!!! I pretend to shift it into third... st! bad pretend shift, he starts pullin on me so I make a pissed face and pretend to miss third. To make it worse... I hit a pothole and see one of my hubcaps fly off and hit his mobile home. ! That st cost 6 dollars! Oh no... Im roundin out third and this guys still pullin hard Im almost at his bumper. I think really hard to myself What would the guy from The Fast and the Furious do? Oh YEAH! The little red button on my steering wheel. Hit the little red BUTTON!!!!! I reach down and hit the button!!! Oh ****! I dont have nitrous! The little red button is only to turn on all fiftyseven of my custom smurf blue euro foglights!!! but this works to my advantage anyway, blinding the domestic redneck racer temporarily. My car hits fourth finally... I pull up to his rear quarterpanel while the blinded redneck fumbles around for his ZZ top ray ban's. I know Im gonna win now.YES! I pull past the redneck reaching the death defying speed of 55 miles per hour. Then throw on all 20 of my euro hazard lights!!!!! Whew... that was close! After this race I poked more holes into my muffler to make sure it wouldnt happen again. Chalk another one up for the CIVIC!!! __________________ Uncle Sam "What the hell is up with all the gauges? Calling Captain Kirk, your ride awaits... Phasers on stun...."

09-01-2002, 09:46 PM	#2
PKRWUD Junior Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Ventura, California Posts: 8,981	ROFLMFAO!!! That is pure poetry, and deserves to be published. Thank you very much for sharing it! Take care, ~Chris __________________ Webmaster: Rice Haters Club Jim Porter Racing Peckerwoods Pit Stop Support Your Local RED & WHITE!

09-01-2002, 09:52 PM	#3
Stang_Crazy It's never clean enough! Join Date: Jan 1999 Location: Shaler, PA Posts: 1,542	HAHAHAHA, That's such a good story!!! It touches on all of the ricer fads too __________________ ~Dan 2001 SVT Lightning 89' GT : Taking up garage space and waiting for a buyer... Rice Hater's Club - Member #11

09-01-2002, 09:54 PM	#4
MidNiteBlu 5.0 I got something to say Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 1,557	LMAO!!!! Excellent story there man! I was rollin the whole time __________________ 91 LX Hatch 5.0 - made for the twisties 89 LX Hatchback 5.0 5spd. stolen/stripped 4/7/05 http://www.mustangworks.com/cgi-bin/...splay.cgi?3494 1987 Toyota Pickup Ricer Haters Club Member #33 Want a custom gauge cluster for your Vintage Mustang? www.jmeenterprises.com

09-01-2002, 10:03 PM	#5
Crazy Horse GT Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Sale Creek, TN. C. S. A. Posts: 4,652	rotflmao, that should be the title page to the rice haters club, lol __________________ 95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow. 04 sonic blue v - six my beater 89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride 84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc 65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020. black 00gt, gone but never forgotten. R H C- member # 1 o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask. goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03

09-01-2002, 10:38 PM	#6
Shelby428cj Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 510	ROTFLMFAO OOOOOOOO MY gawd that was awesome I agree with Marty we need that one on RHC!!!!!! LOL I think that would make a good rap song too!!!! See Ya, Karen __________________ Karen Wells, Moderator The Mustang Works Magazine http://www.mustangworks.com 1969 Mustang (Project Rice Eater) 1999 Silver Mustang Saleen S281 (SQ car for stereo contests) SQ Goddess My Stereo Bro "tireburner163"

09-01-2002, 10:49 PM	#7
DAN-MAN Confederate Cowboy Join Date: May 2002 Location: Southeast Missouri Posts: 546	I'm surprised the hick didn't get the shotgun out and blow that Civic to pieces. Dan. __________________ DAN-MAN RHC MEMBER #25

09-02-2002, 12:24 AM	#8
mustangman65_79 My poor 79 RIP Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Suisun City, Posts: 2,320	That was great, I love stories like that. Put that on a ricre fourm, and they will be yellin for the civic to go-lol __________________ '84 mustang GT turbo '85 LTD '89 Camaro Irocz z28 '94 Lightning '96 Trans am

09-02-2002, 01:44 AM	#9
jj_jonathon Trisket Join Date: May 2002 Location: University of Florida, FL Posts: ½ Posts: 1,560	hey you guys, dont kid yourselves...those winnebagos can be pretty mean..im talking about a 24 second 1/4 mile here....now thats impressive on any standard.... __________________ University of Florida - Physics Major My 02GT vert Media Center Pics BBK Underdrive Pulleys \| K&N FIPK (Gen II) \| Bullet Grille \| Mach 1 Chin Spoiler \| UPR Interior Parts \| XM Radio \| Audiobahn Subs Ricer Hater's Club Member #1/2 (30) http://www.ricehatersclub.com/

09-02-2002, 08:16 PM	#10
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	hahahaha lmao.... I havn't been on the site for a few days but that was freakin' hillarious. Glad I didn't miss that one. §am. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

09-03-2002, 12:41 AM	#11
PKRWUD Junior Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Ventura, California Posts: 8,981	I have copied this story, and posted it at the new RHC website. It should be up within 24 hours. Take care, ~Chris __________________ Webmaster: Rice Haters Club Jim Porter Racing Peckerwoods Pit Stop Support Your Local RED & WHITE!

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