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04-26-2002, 09:00 AM | #1 |
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Joke of the Day, part three
Booze Warnings
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung-** powers, resulting in you getting your arse kicked. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. Okay guys, that's it for now. Take care, -Chris
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RED & WHITE! Last edited by PKRWUD; 04-26-2002 at 09:05 AM.. |
04-26-2002, 09:35 AM | #2 |
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95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow. 04 sonic blue v - six my beater 89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride 84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc 65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020. black 00gt, gone but never forgotten. R H C- member # 1 o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask. goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03 |
04-26-2002, 07:19 PM | #3 |
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Thanks you kept me laughing all day... Odie
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04-26-2002, 07:26 PM | #4 |
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ha ha
Thats awesome my favorite is
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. mike
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93 COBRA vehicle# 689 of 4993 MODS K&N, two chamber flows. admin of www.v8tec.com |
04-28-2002, 12:49 AM | #5 |
HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW!
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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hahahaha... loving it. lol =) There is a flash video with a bunch of those in it. It's pretty funny, it shows a stick man demonstrating them all. I'll have to try to locate it, or if anyone else has the URL and knows what I'm talking about.
Take it easy, §am.
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1969 Mustang Mach 1**Sold** 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car **For Sale - Email me for Info** 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4 |
04-28-2002, 03:45 AM | #6 |
Not broken anymore!
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AMEN BRUTHA!!!!!
hahahahh....ONCE AGAIN CHRIS...you hit that nail SQUARE on the head!!!! lmao!!! I love that one. I think everyone can relate to a few of those! bwaahahah! TNT
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R.I.P. my Kinde..Jan. 19,1992-Aug. 22, 2003. Shes Cruisin' doggie heaven in a Blown Verte or a GTO!!! 2005 ROUSH GT Verte SuperStallions of the Net Feature, May 2002 RICE HATERS CLUB MEMBER #38!! O.B.C #5..thank you!! I feel so priveledged!! BONE STOCK~ Hell, its a ROUSH! |
04-28-2002, 04:23 AM | #7 |
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*LOL*
Yeah,I'm sure 90% of us all here can identify with some of these warnings |
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