Argh. My Ex Gf Wont Let It Go!

[Mercury]

I'm about frusrated. Back before Christmas, me and my Girlfriend broke up. After 4 1/2 good years, (Well, things started going down hill after over 3 years), The decision was made to stop seeing one another before there were any harsh feelings made between us.

I'm at the age where I want to get married, so did she, but there were problems that needed ironed out before anything as such could take place. The biggest one was, I want kids, she 100% does not. Thats a real tuff one to get over there. And due to all the other complications, we decided to split up.

Well, ever since then, she's been calling me, stopping by at ungodly hours (She never used to stop by my house before.), calling me and taking a renewed intrest in my intrests.

I have been through the break up several times again and again since then. Each time, its just as tear jerking, and heart breaking.

Well, last week, I told my Ex about Marya. (Me and my Ex still e-mail each other.) I thought it would be best to tell her up front, than for her to find me and Marya at a public place together. I would hate for my Ex's feelings to be crushed like that, and I wouldnt want any chance of a Public scene (thats not good for a starting relationship..Having your Ex jump on a table at a restraunt and throwing a Steak or Salad at your head.)

Well, tonight she calls me, and says.

"I wont be your fall back. Its either me or this Marya girl. I wont have you keeping me haning like this."

Once again, we talked for 4 hours on the phone, and went through the whole painfull proccess again. And once again, I am saddened even more deeply and more upset.

I hate to keep hurting my Ex Girlfriend, she is a really good hearted person, but I'm not going to live my entire life regretting the decision I made if I stayed with her.. I mean.. I want kids..She doesnt. There are also several other things more than that. But...

And one of her old co-workers from Wal-Mart invited her out to the lot (Wife of the guy who has the fastest Mustang out there.....The Ripper) Saturday...Umm..thats going to make for an akward situation seeing as how me and Marya will probably be out there Saturday (Not if everything goes as I hope though ).

Oh, and My ex's best friend..Bee (If you all remember my previous posts about her) Is still asking when me and her are going to go out. Man..This is getting ....possibly messy. I told Bee about Marya, and she sounds jealous and was talking about how she might go out there one of these Saturday nights just to say Hi..

Gesh...I'm trying to figure out a way to tell Marya about this mess without scaring her away or making her think bad things about me...

I can just imagine...Bee, my Ex, and Marya all pull up at the same time and come walking towards me. All eyeing one another and wondering what one another is doing out here. I'll be stuck in the middle and either

A. Torn to shreds by all three.
B. Kicked in the nuts by my Ex, and have the other two come to my rescue.
C. Hop in my car and hual gluttos maximus to the closest bar.
D. Have my car keyed.
E. Place a five dollar bet that "Bee" will be the last girl standing, and gather other bets.

I'll have to thank the Rippers wife for that one...I'm dead. With my luck, the Waitress from Houlihans will pull up with the girl that asked me out at work (That I had to fire). That would top off that Sundaee (Meaining Ice Cream treat, metaphorically speaking.)

[1969Mach1]

Wow Merc. you live quite the Soap Opera life. lol I missed the post about firing the girl that asked you out at work. Don't worry though, everything will turn out great. Your ex may just of relised what she lost like the say "You don't know how much you love someone tell there gone", she could also just be depressed because she is lonely, and now that she has seen you move on it has just made it worse. I don't know much about this Bee character but I'm sure she will be no problem to this issue. And about Marya, she will understand. She seems like a very considerate, kind person so Im sure she will understand the situation and stick by you. I can relate to the first part about the ex not letting go. I'm asked all the time if I could take her back, it's the hardest thing saying no, since I still love her. But I just know the relationship won't work. I think she is slowly moving on, love is a crazy game.

Take Care Bud,
Best of wishs!
Put me down for $5 on Marya!

[tireburner163]

my Merc, we certinly are the "player" aren't we

Give me $20 on Marya

[Coupe Devil]

Dude I feel for ya but I wish I had your bad luck. Man three women all wantin me at the same time. Now thats bad luck. You decide which one you want and send the other two to me. All jokes aside. If your worried about Dee makin a scene next weekend. just go hang at Marya's house. You'll be in like flint dude.

Brad

[Capri306]

Merc, you need to cut these other chicks off and stick with Marya, IMHO. The Ex sounds like a P S Y C H O and needs some help. She's the one who can't deal with the breakup, and she's mercilessly forcing her insecurity onto you. Breakups are tough, but there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Let her go, man. She still thinks, no....KNOWS you have feelings for her. Hell, ya spent 4 HOURS on the phone?!?! C'mon, dude, you're only hurting yourself. I've been in this very situation before, and the best thing to do is let your ex know, and realize, that it's over FOR GOOD. As much as a small part of your heart wants to be back with that person, you have to think with your head on this. Believe me, I was with someone for 3.5 years, and getting over it was no easy task. In hindsight, which is always 20/20 , it was a better move for me, emotionally, financially, etc. Don't worry about Bee. I'm willing to bet she at least has a level head, and won't get in the way too much. She just wants a happy ending for her friend, like everybody here does for you. Plan B sounds like the best plan, 'cept I'd wear protection of I were you.

[1fastchick]

Well first off I know it will hurt but you need to cut it COMPLETELY off from your Ex. No phone calls, emails, or anything if you are truly interested in this other woman. If she doesn't want kids and you do and after 4yrs that opinion hasn't changed then there isn't a reason to give keep hurting yourself. The biggest thing that always tends to turn most girls crazy is when you Break up, keep talking to them, then are seen or tell them about a new girl. Always happens actually to both guys and girls so it seems.
Never date her Best Friend unless you don't value your balls

It may sound harsh but after I broke up with my b/f of 3yrs in all ways he was cut off. Not allowed to my house, work, or any place where I was at. But then again he turned into a stalker the second he found out that I had another love interest. Its just not worth the pain and heartache you are going to feel. You are already torn up enough from the fact you been together a long time and you will always have a place for her in your heart, but you have to remember you need to make yourself happy also.
Good luck man




*crawls back under my rock*

[Mercury]

Thanks guys and girls for the advice.

I'm going to Wal-Mart now to buy a Cup.

Now, here's something that sucks. I got a call this morning. I was still pretty much asleep when I answered. It was a girl thats all I remember. They said "Oh, I woke you up? Just give me a call back."

I mumbled okay, and went back to sleep. Now I dont know who it was. Argh....I'm not even playing the field, and I'm loosing track.

Wish me luck guys. I still have my money on Bee, she's small, but has alot of spunk.

[Mr 5 0]

Mercury:

I love your posts.

They make me so happy to be in a successful marriage and out of the dating zoo.

For what it's worth, as others have said, you have to cut off the phone calls, e-mail and all with the ex. It's pointless. Whatever you get from hanging on to her 'friendship' it obviously isn't worth it. That's primary.

The rest of the ladies in this drama are interesting but since you have no real committment to any of them, I see no real problems, just some awkwardness if they all meet at once, of course.

Marya is a question mark as you're slowly moving to a deeper involvment with her but have no real binding ties, as yet.

The rest seem to find you attractive and that's cool (for you) but they're simply casual friends, not real girlfriends. If they get jealous - that's not your problem; you can't date them all at once.

Sounds like fun but I can see why you might get nervous with all the latent drama here. Still, this sounds like a single man's dream to me and we await the next chapter in the continuing saga: 'As Mercury's World Turns'.

[Unit 5302]

Well, you need to cut the stings with the ex completely. I really doubt Marya will have any serious issues with you having an ex. Almost everybody does have one somewhere. An Ex that you're still talking to and crying over is an altogether different story. That's been a big issue in a few relationships I've seen get nasty.

If you do decide to keep your ex in your life (which I don't recommend), you need to tell her straight up that you're not gonna get into that old conversation junk anymore. As brutal as it sounds, it needs to be that way. It'll save a lot of heartache and questions later.

If you're with Marya, then you're with her. Bee should be of no concern. If you want to go out with Bee, then go for it. You'd best let Marya know that you don't want to be serious. I have gathered from your previous posts that she has reservations (mostly time) about being serious with you as it is anyway. Also, if you do decide to see Bee, there will be no end to the drama coming your way. If you have no desire to see Bee, you had better make that clear as well.

[6T9PONY]

Let the 3 girls rumble, whoever is still standing, there's your woman! (Put $10 on Bee for me, you seem confident she'd win) All jokes aside, I agree with all these guys. You have to cut off your ex, she needs a wake up call. Marya sounds like a really cool girl from your posts and it sounds like you guys enjoy eachother quite a bit.

You need to get Marya on the boards so we can meet her and see how she REALLY is!

[1fastchick]

Let the 3 girls rumble, whoever is still standing, there's your woman

LOL

[TXinPA]

Heres the best ways to get rid of annoying ex's, and attract wierdo's. (hey everything's got side effects!)

1. pretend you no longer speak english, or any language for that matter.

2. tell them you are really a hermaphrodite

3. move to another state, the state of insanity.

4. eat lots of food that causes gas, then say parden my flatulence.

5. take up ballet.

All else fails, wear a disguise, change your phone #, and start driving a granada.

[joe4speed]

Definitely dump the ex. Her loss, not yours, remember?? Don't fall back on that, as you've seen there are more women out there for you, and it can be fun!! Live life and have fun, man!

[Mustangbelle306]

Is there like some HUGE parking lot in Fayetteville where everyone just SITS?? The "Lot"...that is TOO funny! Reminds me in high school when we used to go down to 7-11 and just....sit in the lot. Man, thinking back now, that really SUCKED

[Mercury]

Mustangbelle.

Why as a matter of fact, YES there is. Its kinda like a club. We call it that "lot" because saying "The Advanced Auto on Raeford Rd Parking lot" can leave you a bit winded.

On a nice spring/summer Saturday evening. We can get alot of cars out there, all Mustangs, Firebirds, Camaros, and even some cool imports. Back in the old day, we used to just about fill up the parking lot with cars. Now we only get about 40 showing up on a Saturday.

If your implying that I hang out with nothing but High Schoolers (No offense to those who are in High School.), about 80-85 percent of those who go out there are my age or older. 24+ Our group spans all age/tax brackets.

[Mr 5 0]

Belle:

Hanging out in parking lots is an old custom in many places.

In my area, it's done at the local Wal-Mart where a big bunch of 'hot' cars congregate every Friday night to show off and meet.

It's gotten kind of organized the past few years and not as spontaneous so I trust another 'lot' will soon be found.

Before Wal-Mart, it was another shopping plaza lot a few miles away where the cops kept an eye on things and nailed anyone doing burn-outs or getting obnoxious but otherwise let it go, as some of the cops had muscle cars they brought down to show off from time to time. The plaza eventually closed and the (ever-changing) crowd moved to a muscle-car-tolerant Wal-Mart.

As I said, this is a very old custom in many places but obviously not where you are.

As Mercury mentioned, most of the crowd is over 21 and many are in their late 20's to late 30's or older. Not a 'high-school crowd' although teenagers are welcome, but they usually have other places they go or just not enough are into the muscle-car scene.
Ricers are around but in a real minority and don't stay too long when they realize they're minnows swimming in a sea of hungry V-8 sharks.

[Mercury]

If it wasnt for the lot, I probably wouldnt of met Marya. Seeing how thats the place I met her at, and introduced myself at.

We have everthing out there from Fed Ex Managers, Accountants (Whom own there own bussiness), Retired Military, Pizza delivery boys (Who has one of the fastest stangs out there, and Delivers Pizza's in it.), Automotive technicians, Car salesman, Farm Owners, Truck drivers, stock investors, and even Law enforcement.

Now that were getting more regulars again, and having more curious Passer By's stopping in, I think this summer we'll have 60+ cars out there on a given Saturday night.

We usually keep the tirespinning and do-nut doing down to a minimum. Most of us are smart enough to realize that such antics are.

1. Juvenile (Who's impressed by a car spinning tires and spinning in circles out of control.)
2. Its draws big attention from the Cops.
3. Most of us out there are serouis prefromance nuts, and racing addicts, we like tires. Tires are good. Doing Burnouts and Do-nuts kills tires.

[Mustangbelle306]

Originally posted by Mr 5 0
Belle:

Hanging out in parking lots is an old custom in many places.

In my area, it's done at the local Wal-Mart where a big bunch of 'hot' cars congregate every Friday night to show off and meet.

It's gotten kind of organized the past few years and not as spontaneous so I trust another 'lot' will soon be found.

Before Wal-Mart, it was another shopping plaza lot a few miles away where the cops kept an eye on things and nailed anyone doing burn-outs or getting obnoxious but otherwise let it go, as some of the cops had muscle cars they brought down to show off from time to time. The plaza eventually closed and the (ever-changing) crowd moved to a muscle-car-tolerant Wal-Mart.

As I said, this is a very old custom in many places but obviously not where you are.

As Mercury mentioned, most of the crowd is over 21 and many are in their late 20's to late 30's or older. Not a 'high-school crowd' although teenagers are welcome, but they usually have other places they go or just not enough are into the muscle-car scene.
Ricers are around but in a real minority and don't stay too long when they realize they're minnows swimming in a sea of hungry V-8 sharks.

Of course it happens here too...its a small southern town...there's NOTHING else to do. But that was my point. Down here its nothing but kids, don't know what the adults do usually, but they sure aren't at the lot...that's all I was asking.

[mike_navigator]

i dont get to see the "cat fight" cause chris my bro will be at the dang kid rock concert tell craig to give me a call or i will make my dad take me out there.

mike