Marya (FireBird Girl) Vanished without a trace.

[1BAD89]

Sorry merc, I haven't been keeping up with you and all your ladies. I hope you find out what has happened, that all does seem pretty weird....I'd look into it further, she might need some help, good luck, and sorry if you took my comment the wrong way.

[Mercury]

1BAD89.

No problem man. I didnt take it the wrong way. I thought the same thing for about 2 seconds till I started putting some things together.

MustangBelle.

I majored in criminal justice for a year and some. The stalking laws in North Carolina are non existant. Its almost impossible to have the amount of proof needed to press stalking charges. There has to be a "Frequency" to the events, and you have to have substanial proof.

Thanks for the words of caution though. I appreciate you alls concern.

I havent been rude, or pushy to her at all, as Mr 5.0 said. I try my hardest to not be a nuissance or a pest to anyone. Especially her.

She doesnt have many friends, just a handfull, and I know off most of them. None of them know where she is either.

Thanks you all for your support. I hope this mystery comes to a happy end soon.

[Topless In Texas]

Thats too wierd Merc....
Hope you find her and everything works out okay in the end.....and I wish you all the happiness in the long run!!!! Hang in there! Topless

[MidNiteBlu 5.0]

that does seem very weird though. I dont understand why her phone lines are dead though. If she had a family emergency i dont see why her phone lines would be dead. owell I hope everything turns out ok and returns to normal quick.

Later

[Mercury]

Well guys and girls, thank you so much for you alls support and concern. I have an update for you all.

She's okay, and alive (Relief), but All is not happy and cheery for me. I will tell you all when I calm down and can type/think clearly. The stupid games people play.

I dont have all the details yet either. I'm not sure if I should even waste my time long enough to find out all the details. I dont play stupid games when it comes to matters of the heart.

[Stang Runner]

Not to pry but can you tells us a bit more......... did she Just move???only a little more info.......... what you can feel you can tell us.

[1965GTO]

Always expect anything when dealing with people especially filipina's. I was stationed in the Philippines for four years and have been going there since 1983. Actually they are pretty predictable if you been around them long enough. You don't have to reveal what happened if you don't want to. If she grew up over there things are different than if she grew up over here but she was still most likely instilled with many phillippine ideas by her mother.

[Mr 5 0]

Mercury:

As you well know, I had a lot of interest in this little drama so naturally the suspense is killing me. However, from the enigmatic nature of your last post I can gather that Marya may be alive and well but whatever you had starting is probably shattered for some reason. I strongly suspect a severe lack of candor on her part is the culprit here, which is always poison to any new relationship.

Although we would all appreciate some sort of resolution to the story, even a negative one, you are certainly under no obligation to tell us more than you're comfortable with.

We hope you know you're among friends here so whether you tell all or simply give us the basics, we sympathize with the stress and confusion you went through this past week and support whatever you choose to do at this point.

[90LxDroptop]

That's so nice to hear that you finally found out what happened to her...I've been sitting at my comp reading this whole post, didn't get up once...i'm with mr. 5.0...if u wanna let us know what happened that'd be nice, but if not, that's cool too...I hope everything is ok.

[Mustangbelle306]

OMGGGGGGGGGG *pleaseeeeeeeee* tell us ARGH I'm dying to know

Despite the desperate tone of that first sentence, I am sorry that you seem upset over whatever happened, and I hope it isn't what I think it was (which is why I am SO curious).

[Mercury]

Well, she did not disapear. It was just extremely bad timing on me and Sams part everytime we stopped by.

Her phone got disconnected because she forgot to pay the bill, and could not get the same numbers back.

She lost my numbers and said she was very sorry. She said she tore apart everything looking for them, and basically ruined her day planner rumaging through it so much, and with the intensity that she searched. Thats why it was all over the interior of her car.

She's been extremely busy with her bussiness and the Tax season thats why none of her friends but one have heard from her.

Her Ex has had the kid the last week.

She recieved the flowers, but wasnt there to sign for them. She was in a meeting.

We met one of her friends out there Saturday night, and I talked to her. She told me Marya said thank you for the Flowers, and has been dying to call me but lost my numbers, and said Marya has been trying to get in touch with Sam to get my numbers from him.

She said Marya is Very interested, and likes me, but thanks to Tax season, and her bussiness, doesnt have much time, plus this is a busy time of year for her at her full time job. (Makes sense since she works in that field).

I didnt believe her, and told her I didnt appreciate being subjected to such juvenile games. I was visibly pissed off. I told her if Marya wants to play around and do games, to go someplace else. I told her I dont have Time for such crap. And told her that it hurt me. Then walked off.

Well Sunday, all of the connections I called prior, got in contact with me, and verfied everything Marya and her friend have said. My friend Sam wanted me to go over and talk to Marya, but I was to mad to, and upset to. My friend Sam (The groper) went over to her house to see what the deal was, and to make sure he didnt have the wrong impression of her.

He said first thing she asked was what my phone numbers were. Anyway to make things short, she called me and apoligized for loosing my numbers, and to tell me thank you for the flowers and to ask me if we might be able to see each other next weekend.

I was still irrate about the whole situation and told her "Maybe". She kept apologizing and kept telling me that its the truth, she lost my numbers and has been trying to find people that might know them.

I found out from my connections that she tried pulling some of her strings to find out my numbers. And that she really loved the flowers, and was telling everyone how bad she felt because she couldnt even get in touch with me to thank me because she lost my numbers. They said she seemed really happy about the flowers and seemed Real happy when she found out who they were from. Also found out she's been telling her co-workers about me, In a good way.

I'm still skeptical. Even with my bad, dumb, luck, the timing of all the events just seems........

Oh well. She said she'd give me a call soon, when ever she gets a chance. We'll have to see about that. I wont hold my breath.

[kystang86]

sounds like you need a drink. well at least now you know the story. sounds like it was just dumb luck her losing your number. go out with her and have a good time together,and calm down...

[PKRWUD]

Merc, if you ever get tired of fedex, I'm pretty sure you could land a job south of here (Hollywood) as a writer. You keep people (myself included) rivited to their monitors. It's amazing the power a good storyteller holds. Anyway, because of my past experience, a red flag went up when her dissapearance coincided with her ex and the child, but it still sounds pretty good. I'm a very skeptical person when it comes to situations like this, and could probably shoot her story full of holes if I tried hard enough, but that wouldn't be productive, and would be more about me feeling better about my past mistakes than trying to lend you support, so I won't even try. My gut says "be careful", but the rest of me says have fun.

Take care,
-Chris

[Mercury]

PRKWUD

I'm the same way. I'm skeptical because of past experiences, and look for holes or gaps in peoples stories. I play dumb alot of the time and ask for things to be repeated after a length of time, just to see if anything changes also.

I want to believe her, but am afraid to, for fear of being hurt, and for fear of being guliable and niave like I have been in the past.

I dont have any reason to yet, but......I'll just have to see how, and where things go from here on out.

[Stang Runner]

It sounds like it was about the best out come that could have happend to me..brfore you put your foot in your mouth. But it sounds like she will for give you, give it a little time. I have a freind that woks so many Hours and never can do any thing some parts of the year I mean Like 2AM-9PM 7 days a week not allway that many hours.

[Mr 5 0]

Mercury:

Thanks for giving us the final scene in this episode of the 'Where's Marya' saga.

Seriously; I'm glad it was 'all a misunderstanding' and nothing bad happened to the woman but you had to suffer a lot of angst over this and you have a perfect right to be highly skeptical of anything Marya says at this point.

I'm very suspicious of (and have an aversion to) female minipulation in a dating scenario so I concur with your current cautious attitude.

I would consider having dinner (or doing something else public and non-committal) with her to reestablish contact but don't dwell on the last week's events or make accusations. See how she comes across and go from there.

Frankly, if she is really so busy, I don't see how you two can ever have get anything going. There is simply no avoiding the fact that it takes time together to establish a relationship. You both need to not only talk, openly and freely without holding back or attempting to project some idealized 'image', but you need to see and experience each other in various settings and situations; tired, hassled, happy, giddy, worried, frightened, whatever - in order to really learn about who the other really is, not what they want you to think they are or what you may wish they were.

That takes time, real honesty and a willingness to possibly be rejected for who you are as well as taking the chance that you'll ultimately reject her for who she really is, as it may not be at all compatable with you or your needs and desires.

This risk is the price of being honest and when it works it's a great reward and when it doesn't - and you end up parting - it's still a reward as you know you did the right thing for the right reasons. Point is; all this requires honesty on the part of both people involved; without that, you're wasating your time. Marya needs to understand that, without accusing her but with sincerity and a desire to 'be real'.

Dating and relationships, once beyond the adolescent level, take a lot of work, which means a lot of time. That's why folks who marry after a few months of dating usually end up divorced - and the exceptions only prove the rule.

I would consider that you make the suggestion to Marya that perhaps you both should wait until after tax season to get together, when she may have more time for dating, but that you both try to stay in touch in the meantime. See what she says. This isn't a ploy; if she's really so busy, you're simply responding to the reality of the situation. If she still wants to 'make time' for you then it has to be concrete; that is, she can't do this disappearing act again. She has to understand that 'once is enough'.

As for having your phone number(s); here's a suggestion: Tell Marya to set up a database on her computer listing all of her phone numbers. Save it and print it off; putting it next to her phone at home and/or at the office.
That way, she has it printed out and if she loses it or forgets it, it's on the computer hard drive. Of course she should add your number(s) to her cell phone address book for easy access.

Frankly, I'm still skeptical and somewhat suspicious of this lady and this whole 'Where's Marya' episode but it's your call and I trust you know a lot more than any of us as to what's your next best move. Just be cautious.

Best of luck to you Merc - and thanks for a great bit of factual storytelling with a semi-happy ending.

[Mustangbelle306]

Mercury,

As usual I will attempt to be completely frank with you without being rude . From the tone of your post, I am suddenly reminiscent of 10th grade dating situations on both of your parts..."connections"...pulling strings...talking to everyone she/you knows...

I really don't think she would even care enough to give a hoot what you think if she didn't really like you, at least as a cherished friend. To tell you the truth, after re-reading the post, I don't even see HOW you have any ground to stand on to be angry at her, besides that it really would have been nice to hear from her.

I don't even see any evidence of so-called "games that people play". Maybe I'm missing something but - what games exactly? Personally, if I were her, and you gave me a nonchalant attitude about it after I hunted you down and honestly explained the situation, I'd never call you again just for that. The woman is a single mother with a busy career...she is obviously not cruel because she would rather be honest and say she is too busy, instead of hooking you in and dragging you along, all the while never having time for you.

Tons of women nowadays wouldn't even have bothered to call you, much less call to thank for the flowers or attempt to set your mind at rest. I sincerely think you are overreacting due to your past experiences, and this is exactly what always ruins it for people. However, it would also be unwise to jump headfirst into this situation, which I take it was your problem in the past.

Why don't you aim for the HAPPY MEDIUM Somewhat trusting, yet cautious...i.e. see if she calls, and go out on a date again...

EDIT:

I also agree with Mr. 5.0; My fiancee and myself have been together a short time, but we spend ALL the time either together, on the phone or on the net talking. I also do see why the disappearing act is weird. REGARDLESS...barring the fact that she didn't call, vanishing like that in general is just creepy and suspicious...I just don't think you should really expect that much at this point of the relationship. Seems like you might have been a little more serious than she was (take it from someone who gets attached REAL quick )
Like 5.0 said; just take it slow and give things a chance. Either they will work out - or they won't.

Female Manipulation? I think its human manipulation...both sexes have guilty specimens...

[89 Cobra LX]

I've been following this thread from the begginning and I tend to agree with Mustangbelle's comments above. However, If I were you, I too would be upset with how it all went down, but..... my biggest concern would be that you don't give it another chance and it really was just a horrible combination of events. That wouldn't be fair to you or her.

[Mercury]

At first I was under the impression that she was playing games.

I do understand that she is extremely busy person and a single mom.

I was not referring to "Connections" in a high school sense, such a a friend of a friend, but to people of certian authority and/or status that could determine if the girl was actaully missing or not. I was more concerned for her safety than my own personal intrest in a relationship.

What leaves me skeptical is the chain of events that lead to the lack of communication. It would be hypacritical of me not to understand, seeing as how I go through strands of wierd luck also.

I didnt accuse her directly of playing games, I told her friend that, which I suspected would get around to Marya. I figured either way, she would know how I felt since I havent been able to communicate with her.

I did jump to conclusions, but I think she saw why I came to the conclusion I did.

I hope things go well between me and her, and I'm willing to take what ever time neccassary. But I just wanted to let her know out right, I dont play games..Unless it involves WHip Cream and choclate sauce

Thanks you all. I'm glad it had a happy ending also.

Oh and she was touched that I was worried about her well being.

[Jeb_Bush_2000]

Female Manipulation?

I saw a website with pictures of that, once.







Man, it was gross.