Beware of snakes(funny)

[MustangKelly96]

Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass
snakes, not
rattlesnakes.

A couple in Rockwall, Texas had a lot of potted
plants, and during a
recent
cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them
from
a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green
garden grass snake
was
hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up,
it slithered out
and
the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very
loud scream. The
husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the
living room naked to
see
what the problem was. She told him there was a snake
under the sofa. He
got
down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for
it. About that
time
the
family dog came and cold-nosed him on the leg. He
thought the snake had
bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he'd had a
heart attack, so
she
called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and
loaded him on the
stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa
and the
Emergency
Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
stretcher. That's
when
the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital at
Garland. The
wife
still had the problem of the snake in the house, so
she called on a
neighbor
man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed
himself with a
rolled-up
newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he
decided it was gone
and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in
relief. But in
relaxing,
her
hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt
the snake
wriggling
around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed
back under the sofa,
and the neighbour man, seeing her lying there passed
out tried to use
CPR to
revive her.

The neighbour's wife, who had just returned from
shopping at the
grocery
store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth
and slammed her
husband
in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods,
knocking him out
and
cutting his scalp to a point where it would need
stitches. The noise
woke
the woman from her dead faint and she saw her
neighbour lying on the
floor
with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had
been bitten by
the
snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small
bottle of whiskey,
and
began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the
unconscious man, smelled
the
whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had
occurred. They were about
to
arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain
how it all
happened
over a little green snake. They called an ambulance,
which took away
the
neighbor and his sobbing wife. Just then the little
snake crawled out
from
under the couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and
fired at it. He
missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that
was on one side
of
the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it
shattered and as the
bulb
broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other
policeman tried to
beat
out the flames and fell through the window into the
yard on top of the
family dog, who, startled, jumped up and raced out
into the street,
where an
oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the
parked police car
and
set it on fire. Meanwhile the burning drapes had
spread to the walls
and
the
entire house was blazing.

Neighbors had called the fire department and the
arriving fire-truck
had
started raising its ladder as they were halfway down
the street. The
rising
ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the
electricity and
disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block
area of south
Rockwall along Texas State Route 205.

Time passed .......... Both men were discharged from
the hospital, the
house
was re-built, the police acquired a new car, and all
was right with
their world .....

About a year later they were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a
cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife
if she thought
they
should bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him..

[joe4speed]

ROFL!!!

That'd make for a good mini-movie! I'd pay to see it!

[Topless In Texas]

LMFAO!!!! ~~~~ONLY IN TEXA$$~~~~ hahahhh! Hey Kelly, did you ever get tickets to see Kid Rock this weekend? If ya did, pinch his ***** for me! hahahah Looks like I'll be trying to get my house in order this weekend!
I'm getting Stones Tickets for Jan. They go on sale June 1st...ya interested???? heheh TNT

[Crazy Horse GT]

oh man, lmao that is hilarious, heheh

[polara7777]

That was pretty good! Appreciate the laughs Kelly.

[70_Nitrous_Eate]

It's fake as heck but still funny! Good one Kelly!

[silver_pilate]

TNT,

Just curious about something. I've noticed on many posts that you spell Texas with two s's. I have nothing better to wonder about now that I'm done with finals, so thought I'd ask .

Just a freindly querry from one Texan to another.

--nathan

[Topless In Texas]

Hey Nathan,
You know I was wondering about that myself...if I remember right I've had people post to me and they would put two s's in the Texas and I guess I kinda picked up on it. Maybe they were trying to tell me i"m an ***** ? Dunno???? lol... I think they were people I still talk to. I cant remember exactly. But I guess thats the best explaination I can come up w/ .....It just kinda became a habit w/ me. Hope that helped?

[srv1]

it would be even funnier if it was real! that was good!

[silver_pilate]

LOL!!

No problem, TNT. I was just curious. I didn't figure you were a disgruntled Texan trying to put the ***** back in Texas.

--nathan

[Topless In Texas]

LOL NATHAN..
Quite the contrary, I"d say! No disgrunteled Texan here! TNT