The 10 commandments.......Texas style

[cyberstang5.0]

The 10 commandments.......Texas style

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

USA Today in its 3/10/03 edition had a large article on two Cowboy Churches in Texas.
They printed the Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas.

(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma &Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' fer yer buddy's stuff.

[302 LX Eric]

Good stuff, Jeff. Especially funny to me as I just returned from San Antonio on business a few days ago.

A few things I learned/noticed while in Texas:

1) The plural of "ya all" is "all ya'all"

2) There are lots of 'turn-arounds' on the main roads. What a cool freaking idea! In Ohio, if you even think about making a U-turn they give you a ticket.

3) It was early May and 97* with high humidity...that sucks. I can't imagine what June, July and August are like.

4) Just about everyone tints their car windows - makes sense given #3 above.

5) The Alamo was smaller than I had envisioned, but very interesting and unique.

6) Bud Light and Bud bottles have their very own 'Texas' label.

E

[bigred90gt]

3) It was early May and 97* with high humidity...that sucks. I can't imagine what June, July and August are like.

You think the humidity was high in San Antonio, try The Houston area on for size. It might only be 80 degrees, but the heat index (feels like) is about 100 and the humidity is well over 100%.

[Topless In Texas]

>---The New Texan's Handbook:
> >1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how
> > to use it.
> >2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can.
> > Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
> >3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the
> > cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will
> > be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way.
> This is
> > what they live for.
> 4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
> > store.
> >5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular, "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's"
> > is plural possessive.
> >6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
> >7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone,
> > directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to
> > drive on a model of vehicle known as a John Deere, and this is the
> > proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
> >8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, " Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out
> > of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
> >9. Get used to the phrase "it's not the heat, it's the humidity".
> > And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
> >10. There are no delis. Don't ask.
> >11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when
> > making a point, especially in a bar.
> >12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
> >13. Brisket is not "cooked" in an oven.
> >14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
> >15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down - in
> > December.
> >16. We do TOO have 4 seasons: December, January, February and Summer!
> >17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F150 is.
> >18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot" you
> > can be certain they are.
> >19. If you fail to heed my; warning in #18 above, be sure to have a
> > bowl of guacamole on hand. Water won't do it.
> >20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.
> >21. If someone says they're "fixin'" to do something, that doesn't
> > mean anything's broken.
> >22. Don't' even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you
> > really mean to say is 'margarita'.
> >23. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school
> > football, just keep your mouth shut.
> >24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to
> > the door, but the availability of shade.
> >25. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pulling
> > onto the shoulder, that is called "courtesy".
> >26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and
> > hotdogs outdoors.
> >27. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular
> > weekend pastime.
> >28. "Tea" = iced Tea. There is no other kind.
> >29. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
> >
LOL! Rules to live by....If you dont live in TEXASS......Hurry! Your WASTING TIME!
TNT